Patron Saints of the Bard's Table
Added 2022-10-27 23:21:29 +0000 UTCHi friends,
It's been a minute since I've updated on here properly, so before I write anything, I would just like to apologize. When I created this Patreon, I was hoping to create something truly unique and worthwhile as a supplement to my music and my Twitch channel. I wanted to write journal updates, send out amazing physical rewards, and connect with all of you on a deeper level. I feel like the last few months I've fallen behind on here, and for that I'm sorry. I know a lot of you have mentioned that it's "no sweat", and to just pick back up next month, and I really appreciate that. However, I do feel obligated to provide you guys with some kind of extra goodies, and I want to be more consistent about this. It's just such a challenge, and it's put a lot of my human "quirks", if you will, on the table.
When I started streaming almost 3 years ago, I had no idea my life would become completely dedicated to my art, let alone to an amazing community that supports it. As I've mentioned before, prior to all this pandemic stuff, I was working in the nonprofit sector supporting adults with developmental disabilities, music was just a side passion that didn't get much attention. Like many of you, I worked full-time and then some, with bosses overseeing my every move, and very little time to dedicate to my craft.
Now, after all this time, I'm finding that being a creative person full-time is like having multiple full-time jobs, because.. well, I pretty much do haha. Except I no longer have a boss. No one to give assignments, or to set up a schedule. That's all on me. And here I am, this naturally disorganized chaos squirrel, trying to figure it all out for the first time.
This is the first time in my life, my room has ever been clean, and it's taken me literally three years to get it this way lol. Three years of starting to clean, getting distracted or overwhelmed, laying on a pile of clothes, putting on all the random jewelry and makeup, and sulking for a few hours. lol. But finally, I'm sort of organized. I've got a little corner of my life in order, in my one room of the house, and it does feel nice.
So, that being said, when things are good, and I'm feeling good, it's easier to get up and get motivated. Now that I've reached this point with my room's organization, I'm hoping to pull myself out of this weird depressive slump I've been in.
Truth be told, at the end of last month, I had to deal with an incredibly personal and difficult problem, which I will not delve into- but it sent me down a very dark path mentally for pretty much the last month. Honestly, I don't know where I'd be without this community, and our friends on Twitch. Music has been my anchor, and all of you have been the stars in my sky.
That being said, I will be very honest. I'm not finding joy in making art right now, and I'm not really sure how to remedy this, as far as Patreon goes. I really wanted to send out some kind of amazing Halloween package since I LOVE Halloween.. but alas, my current state of existence didn't allow for it.. I'm really sorry about that. :(
But, moving forward. I think maybe I need to come up with a solution to this art thing. I can always send personal cards to those of you with packages, since I know the biggest thing has been that you all signed up for that because you love the snail mail aspect of it. I could maybe do a little doodle or include something else unique in it. I just really, really need a break from art. While I used to love making it, I'm hitting a breaking point where it is no longer enjoyable, and I don't like that I feel that way.
I'm open to any opinions or ideas, if anyone wants to comment here, or write me privately. I promise to be more vigilant about checking & responding on here. It's frustrating that the features on mobile are not as accessible as desktop, since I'm trying to get out more to do things, rather than just be in my room 24/7 (that's another part of things that's got me down, I'm feeling a bit of cabin fever and winter's not even here yet.. eep.)
So yeah, please feel free to share your thoughts/feelings about all this. I am hoping that the clean room and maybe a better sleep schedule will get me sorted out. But in the meantime, please know, you are important and you are loved. You guys keep me going. Thank you. <3
-Bard
ps please enjoy this old photo of me holding a skull mask I wore to a halloween party like 4 years ago lolol
pps you're cute.
Comments
So, I'm here to support you chasing your dreams, and the snail mail is not the point. I mean I love getting mail, but it's not my focus, and I don't want it to be yours.
Frank Baxley
2022-10-28 22:44:50 +0000 UTCI just plain believe in the Graceful Bard and the Graceful Druid is a genuine force of good in this world now abd ever more. I want you to listen to your own need to rest and not any imaginary obligations....
ChompChickadee’s folks
2022-10-28 18:58:19 +0000 UTCI haven't been home for like 3 months so I guess I have Patreon magic waiting in my mail box... You should probably only make art when it's bringing you joy, and I don't see any reason to ever feel pressured to do anything. I think the way you feel in general and the way you feel about creating as it's happening is pretty much the way we're gonna feel about your creation, so really there isn't much of a point to ever force yourself. We're grateful that you exist and that you're awesome, and no one is asking more than that, just be your wonderful self as you keep figuring out how to ride the wave of existence and find astute ways to share the experience with your friends and the entire world, because there isn't much else to do, really ? ps : love u more pps : no u
2022-10-28 11:53:24 +0000 UTCFollow up, I joined because I wanted to support you and connect with you in a more meaningful way. I thought getting stuff in the mail was an awesome idea. I felt though that as you grow, this will be very hard to sustain. I think this process is very normal of falling behind. Please be gentle with yourself. We love you so much!
2022-10-28 00:17:50 +0000 UTCAwe Bard. You bring everyone so much joy my only wish is that you are happy and healthy and sharing your beautiful art in whatever form. I for some reason knew you were heavy when I started watching you. Kept telling Ellie that you are sad and I want to help. Somy general ideas would maybe be to simplify? Like instead of making one piece for everyone make one print and put a unique twist such as color or whatever you can think of for your people. I don't know how you feel about digital art but maybe even send a digital package, letter, print, even voice message or short video. I am usually full of ideas.
2022-10-27 23:49:00 +0000 UTCThank you for the update, Bard. I think many of us will support you regardless of how often you post here (or anywhere, for that matter). What is important to me is that you are in a good place. From that good place shall flow all of the art and love and peace that should be a part of all of us.
Make Mistakes
2022-10-27 23:34:09 +0000 UTC
