Arcanum, Rough 1-7

“Miho, my partner, my friend, my buddy. I mean this in the nicest possible way.” Shèn said through hands pressed flat together. “What the hell.”

She’d come to say hello to her friend after sleeping in until ten in the morning. She’d been promptly punched in the nose by a full on eastern feast. Salmon, miso and curry were the only things she could make through the mess of scents and mountains of food piled upon the fox’s dining room table. 

The culprit was just standing there like a deer in headlights and it said something about the situation Shèn only noticed now that the fox woman was wearing nothing but a t-shirt and panties. There was, in theory, an apron too. In practice, it was doing about as much for her front as her hitched up shirt did for her ass. Watching Miho set the spoon raised to her lips down as a terrifying expression briefly dawned on the fox before it evaporated into a nuclear blush, Shèn could only sigh.

Very cute, yes, but really?

“...I left the door unlocked, didn’t I?” She just barely managed to get out, her voice absolutely miniscule and swimming in embarrassment.

“Yes. It was also ajar so when I knocked it just opened.” The dragon drawled out, dry and flat even as her tail snatched a rice ball, shoving it into her mouth without a second thought. Mooched food tasted best. Smoked salmon with mayo, classic stuff. 

Wait.

“Did you use your Ruby Carbuncle to smoke the salmon?” Shèn asked with narrowed eyes, glancing up at the smoke detector suspiciously. It didn’t look like Miho had removed the batteries.

“...No?” Miho shook her head, “I’ve been cooking since…” She blanched, whipping out her phone. As she opened it and glanced at the time, she groaned, “About seven in the morning.” She whined, “I got lost in a fugue…”

“Floozy, I swear to god.” Shèn chuckled in fond exasperation, shaking her head. “Well, get decent. I may’ve had a stomach capacity like a snake even before becoming six feet tall, but we’re going to need more people to get through this before it goes to waste.”

“...Most of it was for refrigeration.” Miho pouted, glaring towards Shen with absolutely no heat in her eyes, “But cooking for other people feels better… fine. So long as they don’t touch my ramen and my snacks, you rude lizard, you can invite people over. Those are my onigiri.” With pointing her fingers towards her eyes and then towards Shèn in a classic gesture, she retreated towards her room to get dressed.

“Nyehehehehe.” The rude lizard in question laughed like the goblinoid she truly was, grabbing a plate of tonkatsu to go without a second thought. Now, time to see who they were sharing a floor with.

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“Welcome!” Miho ‘chirped’, sounding more like a deathrattle than anything else, her gucci eyebags not helping that impression any. At least she’d come out of her room dressed in a far more socially acceptable pair of jean leggings, for all she hadn’t changed her shirt, “Shèn has decided that I couldn’t possibly eat this food that I was going to refrigerate or freeze on my own, so I invited you lot over. Aren't you all lucky?”

“You cooked a squad’s worth, Floozy. Even after we’re done here you’ll have at least three days worth of leftovers with those huge curry pots.” Shèn chuckled wryly, shaking her head before waving at the trio, her tail pointing out each one as she rattled their names. “Lucia Martina Ortiz-Ramierez, William Nakamura, Joseph Blazkowicz.”

Lucia was pretty much the poster girl for military latinas. Tall, tanned and toned. Her hair hung from a high ponytail to right below her shoulderblades. William was a short, stocky man with brown hair thick-rimmed glasses over aggressively Asian features. Not unfit by any measure, he was simply the only one of the trio not seemingly made out of steel cables. Speaking of, Joseph was built like a quarterback. Square shoulders, square jaw, blue eyes and blonde hair in a buzz cut. The man was a propaganda artist’s wet dream.

“You stole my onigiri, you bitch.” Miho shot back without a single ounce of remorse, “I was looking forward to eating those, myself.” With the last word obtained, she turned her attention towards the guests, “Either way, please pull up a chair to the table. Go ahead and grab anything still there. The refrigerator is off limits. I stored what I can eat over the course of the week there, and you aren’t welcome to it, Shèn.”

The dragon, being a paragon of maturity and elegance, just stuck out a whole foot of tongue at the fox woman.

“Free food is free food!” The latina after Shèn’s own heart exclaimed, entering the dining room and taking a seat at the table, “You heard the lady. Name’s Lucia. Lucia Martina Ortiz-Ramierez. Thanks for the invite and pleased to meetcha, Miho.”

Before Miho could respond to Lucia’s greeting, the blonde man with a jaw so square you could almost count the polygons spoke, “A lot of Japanese dishes, I see. Are you from there, Miss Li?” Taking a seat of his own across from Lucia, he continued, “Ah, not to be rude, but you did keep some rice out, yes?”

It was a fair question given the alternative was starting to lift lids at random from the pots peppered around the table. Needs Shenifying: Especially given there were three different lidded pots, one well arranged platter filled with tonkatsu, another platter with two entire fish worth of seared salmon, along with yet another pot of miso soup. Heck, there was barely any space to fit in their own plates as was.

Watching as her friend blushed again, Shèn chuckled as Miho stuttered out a reply, “A-ah-apologies. Give me a second to go get the rice cooker.” With that, Floozy turned and made her way back towards the kitchen. Emerging a few moments later, hands laden with her rice cooker, Miho found a place to set it down and found a seat at the head of the table. “Right. That should be everything. Go ahead and help yourselves.”

“Thank you, Miss Lee.” The Asian man of the group spoke for the first time, looking towards his host with a fond smile, “It has been a while since I’ve had a taste of home. Lucia is much more fond of Hispanic fare, after all.” 

“I also suck at making Japanese. Fuckin’ sticky rice.” Lucia said bluntly with a shrug, “I’ve told you before that you should just learn how to cook, Will.”

“The last time you let me in the kitchen, I burned water.” Will shot back dryly, “Are you sure you want a repeat of that?”

“With a fire extinguisher on one hand and a camera in the other, sure.” The latina replied without missing a beat.

“If you want some barriers on, just gimme a first row seat.” Shèn chuckled, pulling a chair with her tail before plopping her ass down. Took some finagling to make the meat tube sticking out of her spine sit remotely comfortably, leaving her slightly turned to the side, but nothing some furniture shopping wouldn’t fix.

“I might take you up on that!” Lucia barked, her voice filled with mirth as she plated some of the spicer curry for herself, “Cheers for the free lunch, Miho. It’s really appreciated.”

“Thank Shèn. I would have hoarded it if it wasn’t for her.” Miho demurred, slowly munching on some of the seared salmon she had already claimed a significant portion of, “Since you are all here, and I’ve bribed you all with lunch, would any of you mind providing us with transportation while we go shopping for our apartments? We need to furnish them with various things, and it’s rather difficult to carry the heavier things without a vehicle. I doubt my word that I can drive a car would be all that useful either.”

For a few moments, the table was quiet as the three invited individuals processed Miho’s overly formal and stilted request. 

Joseph was the one to break the silence, “I don’t believe I have anything planned today. I wouldn’t mind helping you and Miss Shen out.” He turned to face the other two PRT employees sitting at the table, “Are either of you two free today?”

“We can assist as well, yes. I assume that both of you would also like recommendations on where to go for all of your shopping?” William answered after swallowing, receiving an approving nod from his maybe-roomate, maybe-wife.

“Please.” The dragon all but pleaded. “I grew up in a vacation city, I would crumble to ash if I fell for a tourist trap. But this is my first time in America, so.” Shèn wiggled her dyed hands as though her talons could tease her meaning out of the air.

“I’d say that Brockton shouldn’t realistically have a tourist industry, but I also read somewhere that it was the cape capital of the US, if not the world, sooooooooooo.” Miho hummed, finger on her chin as she stood from the table, gathering up her plates and leaving for the kitchen, “Probably for the best if we have escorts either way.”

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Shèn wasn’t sure whether to be glad or concerned that Joseph owned a big black van. She could definitely appreciate how much armor had been snuck into it and how plush the seats were, though. Her friend sure enjoyed the latter, given how she’d been merrily dozing against the dragon’s shoulder. Soon enough, she didn’t have to worry about any of that anymore.

“We’re here.” Joseph called back as the van pulled to a stop, the distinctive click of unlatching belts sounding out through the vehicle. 

“Oi, Floozy, time to wake up.” Shèn said, gently poking her friend on the cheek with a curled finger. Wouldn’t do to score her face with her talons. Thankfully, her friend was a light sleeper. Rubbing her eyes, Miho yawned a bit, blinking blearily towards Shen.

“Thank you.” She stated, rubbing her eyes briefly before she gave up on that as a bad job, “Appreciate you letting me take my nap and also waking me up.”

“Just be careful, next time you may wake up as a fox burrito.” The dragon chuckled as she slid out of the van, flexing her tail for emphasis. It had led to some awkward sitting, but the cushioning kept it from being too uncomfortable. 

Snickering, the fox unclipped her seatbelt, pushed open the car door, and hopped out. “Bold of you to assume there’ll be a next time, my dear Shèn~” Miho chirped. Turning to Joseph, the she-fox bowed, “I appreciate your time, Mr. Blazkowicz.”

“Repayment is repayment.” The German man answered simply. “Now, I do believe you two had shopping to accomplish?”

“That we did. Lead the way?” The leggy chunk of lapis lazuli replied with a bob of her head.

The mall was unremarkable beyond being a fair bit uglier than Barcelona’s pride and joy. Then again, they didn’t exactly have the benefit of having a whole-ass arena to use as a fancy facade dress for it, so she wasn’t going to judge them all that hard for it. Beyond that it was what one would expect, a whole commercial district squeezed in the size of a large park. Brockton Bay’s culture showed in how little glass there was, everything being concrete fed nice and fat with rebar. Reminded her of the fat fucking concrete brick El Corte Ingles had slapped down in Plaza Catalunya, if anything.

Inside, department stores and more niche stores lined the walls as far as the eyes could see, and crowds upon crowds of people walked within. Miho was already cringing, her ears twitching as her straight up superhuman hearing began to irritate her from the sheer level of background noise she had to be picking up.

“I’ll have to figure out a Wind spell to dampen your hearing.” Shèn sighed with a shake of her head. She had never had it as bad as her partner, but there was a reason she refused to go to restaurants without noise-canceling headphones. Thing of the past now thanks to her new body, at least. “Alright, furniture last for obvious reasons. Kitchen stuff first, I think. I need some plates, bowls and cutlery.”

She turned at a tap on her shoulder, Miho raising her phone up at her.

[Better to order the kitchen stuff online. Cheaper and less work for us.] A bold set of text read, her friend still very much grimacing all the while.

“Isn’t it barely 2011 around here?” Shèn asked with a tilt of her head. She had no real idea when online shopping had really taken off.

“It’s mostly about efficiency and car space.” William chimed in, an unconcealed look of concern directed towards Miho, “While delivery hasn’t hit the mainstream yet, it is starting to get significantly more popular, and has already become a rapidly rising business in Brockton.”

“Fair enough.” The dragon shrugged. Saved them some trouble. “Now–”

Whatever she was going to say next was interrupted by the sound of approaching footsteps, whispered words of curiosity and awe in equal measure, and a shiver down her spine.

“Ah shit.” Lucia cursed, “Here come the groupies.”

Miho’s ears were flat against her head, what little fur she had bristling as the not even remotely concealed discussion about the pair of them spread across the busy mall. Shèn didn’t hesitate to stick an Esuna covered hand on the small of her fuzzy friend’s back. Not the politest thing to do, but it sure beat the fox blowing a gasket.

She stiffened, a low furious growl boiling in her throat before she cut it off, a sharp nod letting her friend know she’d appreciated it. The phone came up again, [Never do that again. Don’t fuck with my mind directly. It’s a neurosis.]

“Fair enough. Next time just cast Esuna on yourself. Although if it is between you starting to shut down or doing something really regrettable and me triggering that neurosis? It’s going to be the latter.” Shèn muttered with a shrug, knowing the fox would be able to hear just fine. Should help make sure that fuzz butt didn’t ever let it get to that point.

Magical self-medication, woo. Given that Miho seemed to loosen up significantly at her words, she’d definitely been correct to say so

As for the peanut gallery itself? A mixed bag like the dragon had been expecting. Most of them were complimentary, especially with regards to their care for the hostages. Some were critical, grumbling that they weren’t proper heroes because they had just let the villains take the hostages rather than put up a fight. A few idiots wasting what few brain cells God had seen fit to give them to leer and ogle as though being in a busy crowd made them invisible.

It was nice her actions had been taken notice of, and she was enough of a show-off to make a game of how many eyes followed her tail, but it was a bit difficult to find humor in it with the face her friend was making.

“Oi, you two.” Lucia asked, very pointedly stepping between the crowd and Miho, “Do you want us to make sure you’re both left alone?”

“Go for it. I somehow doubt summoning my critters would really help.” Shèn sighed, shaking her head.

“Please.” Miho finally spoke for the first time since they’d entered the mall.

“Right then.” Lucia replied, nodding towards her blonde friend who was very conveniently built like an angry fridge, “Joseph, you take the front, I’ll take the back. William, you be all intimidating by glaring at people through your glasses.”

“I am maybe eighty pounds soaking wet, what intimidation?” William grumbled, but obliged well enough.

“Do the megane thing, nerd.” Lucia shrugged in reply. With all of that sorted out, the quintet of off duty PRT employees and Arcanists made their way through the mall, politely pushing aside the sea of people who rose to greet them. Some were simply innocently curious. Some were significantly ruder. All of them got the same basic treatment, provided they got the message on the first pass.

“Miss Shen and Miss Miho simply wish to purchase what they need, and leave. Please do not bother them.”

The rote message was repeated over and over again, only some people particularly lacking in grey matter requiring a more firm response to keep away. Even so, Shèn caught her friend swearing to never do this again. It was eleven times now. She may need to figure out something to keep Miho from becoming a shut-in. Hopefully the novelty would wear off in a few weeks. 

For now, it was time to speed through the shopping they absolutely could not have done online then hit the door hard enough to make it bounce. Her wistful look at the food court would remain just that, a look.