[1:4] Lavender Valley

“Oh jeeze. One of those guys eh’? Well you must fit in great around here then” Josh says as he scrounge around in his fridge. “Think fast!”

A can rockets in your hands. You already winced, expecting the worst, before you realize you actually caught it! (Coordination Roll: Success) Although stunned, you play it cool. Hoping Josh will respect your latent sporting acumen and not see it for the freak feat of accidental athleticism it was. You take a seat on one end of his couch and start tapping the can to calm the agitated carbonation. “Yeah, I suppose I do. Hopefully.”

It takes a few seconds for what he said to fully process. “Wait, what do you mean?” you ask. 

Josh comes back around from the fridge cracking his beer. It foams up and almost spills over but he manages to slurp the excess.

“What do you mean, what do you mean? You really haven’t noticed?” 

Josh flops down on the other end of the couch. You shake your head “no”. 

“Seriously?” Josh asks again, amused. When he sees you’re not kidding he shakes his head and chuckles, “Dude. We’re the only men here.” 

Now that he mentions it you haven’t noticed any other men in the complex though you have been pretty distracted the past few days. 

“That can’t be true. There’s gotta be a few others. Maybe in the other wings?” 

Josh shakes his head no. “I’ve looked. Trust me. Shortly after I moved in here I met some of the neighbors, all women. Every so often there are these tenants get-togethers in the courtyard gardens, no men ever attend. Once I got wise to it I was on the lookout. No boyfriends or husbands or gay best friends or anything. It’s a total clam bake every time. There was one dude who I talked to once or twice in the carport I never see anymore. I still see his car sometimes but never him. 

“But I know what you’re thinking; that’s awesome right? Surrounded by tons of chicks with no boyfriends or husbands? That is great for us!. We’re going to get laid all the time. Nope. I’ve tried and there’s no way in and I seriously doubt they’re all lesbians. And granted, I’m not the best looking dude in the world but I’ve got some charm. I learned to be funny to make up for the travesty you see before you so I can do alright with the ladies. But not these ladies. It’s weird - oh what was that? What’d I miss?!”

His attention was suddenly on the game. Something happened and the crowd went wild. You weren’t sure why though. But you played along, watching the screen and pretending like you understand sports. Once the commotion died down you found a lull to ask, “What do you mean weird?”

His eyes never left the screen. “I don’t know. Weird. You know, weird.” After a beat he must have realized he wasn’t making much sense. “Weird like…I don’t know. Like something is going on and you are on the outside and you will always be on the outside. It’s like, when you were a kid did you ever get excluded from a group or a club or something? It’s like that.” He hesitates then says, “if I’m being honest the longer I live here the more I begin to feel creeped out. I know, it’s stupid.”

1.) Don’t Make Waves. Best not to press him. You don’t know what he’s said and without talking to any of the women about it you’re only getting one side of the story. Let the topic drop and just enjoy the hang.  

2.) Just One of the Girls. You don’t know Josh very well yet but you might be getting some dude-bro vibes that are repellent to women. You’ve had enough friends tell you of the awful encounters they’ve had with guys like this. You think maybe you should give him some insight that a lot of dude-bro’s don’t usually know. 

3.) A Mystery is Afoot! Everything he’s saying is super weird and you’ve got to know more.