Let's talk about He-Man!

hey guys I've finally looked at Masters of the Universe Revelation, and I made a follow up, you can join the conversation here, on a public site I mean, but if you want to just read my very hot take, here it is.

Master of the Universe, a new obsolete series

So, after a year of teasing Master of the Universe: Revelation is available on Netflix, and it's… something.

So devoid of the queer charm of the OG series that I felt like overcompensating and giving you majokko He-Man.

MotU Revelations feels like if Star Wars started from The Empire Strikes Back instead of A New Hope. Lots of action, highly bangable character designs, not so likable characters, and the cheapest of cliffhangers.

I will try to keep it spoiler-free, but I have at least to explain the setup of the "series" (more of a 2 hours movie divided into 5 segments) that is the first episode:

He-Man pulls a Goku: sacrifices himself to save Eternia from a magical explosion, pulling out of his ass that the sword might work as a deflector for the energy congestion (there will be a lot of these magical asspulls.)

He dies together with Skeletor, Teela then discovers that he was Prince Adam because he un-transformed during the deflection (superdramatic asspull) and they go to inform King Randor.

The King, that in this version is Daddy Issues 1:1 flares up and bans from the court Man-at-Arms. Teela then decides to do the most human thing and lashes out at two parents that just lost their son and at her dad just fired because they didn't trust her with the secret of Adam's identity.

He throws away her tiara, shows her gorgeous flowing hair to the camera, then leaves vanishing in a crowd of anthros because we have to pander to the furry demographic.

She's the protagonist of the series, it's foreshadowed that she will be the next wielder of the Sword of Power. We're asked to root for her

There's a difference between flawed and unlikable characters, and the writer apparently doesn't know that.

A likable character is put simply, someone that you would like to spend time with. And I don't want to spend time with a jerk that lashes out at mourning parents.

I wonder if the fact that the writer is Kevin Smith, one of the best-known specimens of Gen-X edgelords that confound misogyny with honesty, is just a coincidence. For sure the PG-rating prevents him to throw the worst shit at the wall.

Honestly, is quite interesting to see the typical designs of Powerhouse Animation Studio (sexy even if stiff, the darkest upper lips, and the biggest lacrimal ducts ever seen) inhabit a PG-rated world where extras don't get mutilated and disemboweled for just daring to exist.

It would have been nice to see more He-Man moving his giant body around, but he, he's the strongest man in the universe and you can't make an engaging story with someone who can succeed in any physical challenge. Unless you give him problems he can't punch his way through, like any good story of Superman does, but that would be clever writing, and you don't want it to get in the way of your combat scenes and magical asspulls.

(It's very interesting how Filmation managed He-Man's unrivaled strength quite well by avoiding violence as much as possible. I guess because of the G-Rating, the mission about making educative cartoons, and also the very tight budget when it came to action scenes.)

Plus, He-Man is a good guy, and good guys are boring, according to edgelord writers who believe that lack of empathy and responsibility makes you charming.

Better get rid of him in the first episode (despite him being a major part of the advertising) and look feminist by focusing on a female warrior wielding a Sword of Power… Oh wait, there's already one, she's She-Ra.

And she got a reboot that actually adapted the queer undertones of the original show to the 2010s audience and made it a celebration of self-respect and diversity that actually earned both the love of progressive people and the hate of 4-channels.

And I wonder if Kevin Smith is trying to overshadow her, ride her gravy train, or he's just unaware that out there exists a remake of a MOTU property that got woke points, not the fake Disney remake points you get from throwing a bunch of people of color, some feminist talk, and vague hints at the queerness of some characters that can be easily removed in the Russian dub.

It's a mess. A pretty-looking mess and it gave us a butt shot of He-Man I hold dear. But the characters that get to stay alive are not likable and the race switch of some of them and the focus on Teela made the show gain the hate of 4channers but not the appreciation of the queer and queer-friendly community.

It stays in the middle, the worst place to be.