May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 33

Entry 35, Day 79

When I was in high school, I had some close friends I’d known for a few years. My oldest friend was Manny, or Manuel Ortega. He lived across the street from me since I was a little kid. We did Cub Scouts together, went to summer camp together, and even swam together on the Swim Team Freshman year, though Manny quit and did track and field as he was a lot better at it. I had a couple of other friends, Bryce and Joe and a few others, but I’d drifted away from all of them, even Manny over the years. Didn’t go to the same college, and medical school began to consume all of my time, while Manny got married to a girl named Trisha he met at Texas A&M when he was 24. I was his best man, actually, but that’s neither here nor there. 

Point is, I hadn’t really had any super close friends in a few years. That’s kind of normal in medical school, I think? You’re spending every waking hour studying and doing your damndest to pass, and the hours you keep aren’t super regular because you’re doing rotations at the hospital and they can be during some god awful hours. I had one rotation where, between my coursework and my rotation, I was putting in at least 100 hours a week. I was dead on my feet when that rotation ended, and slept for like three days. 

So, it was really nice to actually have people I was close with again. It’s very weird I went to an alien planet and got super cancer to find love and friends again, but, well, I guess the trade was worth it? Aside from the originium induced nephrolithiasis. I think I would literally rather die than go through that again. 

Which, uh, is likelier than not.

I’m off track again, but I was sort of feeling pretty good?  My levels were really down, and I was hanging out with Texas in her room, having a couple of beers while she drank wine and just…chilling. It was nice. I’d come to seek her advice, explaining the whole thing with Sussurro, and she’d listened intently. Texas is kinda intense with everything she does, but that’s alright. 

“So, anyway, I guess I came to ask you if this is normal and stuff,” I finished. 

“I am not a vulpo,” Texas said, taking a sip from her beer and moving her pocky stick around her mouth. “But I felt…uncomfortable, not being able to propose to Sora. We have been together more than a year.”

“Wait, is gay marriage like, illegal in Lungmen?” I asked, slightly surprised. 

“No. Her contract. She is forbidden relationships. Ours is secret,” Texas explained, ears flicking in slight agitation. 

I smacked my forehead gently. “Right, yeah, sorry, forgot about that. This must be hard for you to hear me whine about having to propose to my girlfriend, and worry about having kids.”

“It’s fine. Your circumstances are different. Besides, don’t want kids. They’re loud, and messy.” Texas paused, and seemed to realize something. “I…do not know if Sora wants children. I have not asked.”

“I mean, you could ask her. There’s always plenty of orphans who need homes here on Rhodes Island,” I pointed out.

“Yes. Life on Terra is dangerous. But I do not think I would be a good mother. Sussurro would be. Sora would be. Not me.”

“I mean, you could be a dad like me,” I joked, then winced again. “Uh, sorry if that’s offensive, guess I’ve had one too many.”

“No. It makes sense. If Sora would be the mother, then I would be the father,” Texas said with a nod. She frowned. “My father…was not a very good one. I killed him.”

“Uh, fair bet you’d be a better dad than Giuseppe,” I said with a grimace. “Even if, uh, you’re technically a woman.”

“Technically?” Texas asked, raising an eyebrow and her tail swishing slightly, which told me she was taking this as a joke. 

“You’d have to ask Sora on the matter, but she seems pretty happy with the situation,” I chortled. 

“Mmm. I hope so. I miss her,” Texas said, looking down at her can of beer. 

“Yeah. I hope you get to see her soon,” I said, and took a drink. 

Texas looked up. “Do you love Lucia?”

“I, yeah, I do,” I admitted. 

“Then you should get married. It is what is proper,” Texas said firmly. 

“Yeah, but like, what if…you know…I die,” I said, fiddling with my beercan and looking at the lesions on the back of my hand. 

“My duty is to ensure you do not. I am good at it,” Texas told me. 

I couldn’t help my bitter laugh. “Texas, I’m not worried about being assassinated. I’m worried I’ll kill myself trying to cure someone and taking on too much originium, or just die of one of the thousand complications from oripathy! Then, I’d leave Lucia alone, and God help me, any kids we had! What if I die after I get her pregnant, and I never even get to see my own child!? Can we even have kids!? I mean, I think so, I hope so, but, I’m not Terran, remember!? And none of the R6 guys have had kids with a local, as far as I know.”

“Ah.” Texas and I drank in silence for a few minutes, both finishing our beers. Texas got up and got a couple more out of the fridge, passing me one. We both cracked them, then she said, “You should marry her.”

“You don’t think I’ll die?” I asked. 

“You will,” Texas deadpanned, which made me flinch. “So will she. So will I. So will we all. Everyone dies. No one knows when. So love her now.”

“I just…I couldn’t do that to her, Texas,” I said, feeling sick. “I couldn’t leave Lucia alone! Not, not like that…”

“Then don’t die,” Texas stated. 

“It’s not that easy!” 

“It is. James, I am an assassin. I kill people. People try to kill me. I do not let them. If I failed, Sora would be alone. You would be alone. Exusiai would be alone. I cannot allow this. So, I do not die. I fight. I train. I am perfect. Because if I am not, then Sora would cry. And I will not allow her to cry because of me.”

“Yeah, sure, Mary Poppins,” I grumbled. Texas lifted one ear slightly, which was the lupo equivalent of a ‘huh?’ from her. “Children’s story from back home, she was Practically Perfect in every way.”

“She must have been a very skilled assassin.”

“I…huh. You know, I bet if Ms. Poppins decided to ice a bitch, she could. So, just don’t die then?”

Texas nodded, and raised her beer. 

I toasted her in response. “Well, to not dying then.”

“And to Sora, and Lucia. May they never weep.”

“Amen,” I agreed, and we both drank to that. 

I mulled that over a bit, then grunted. “Shit, now I have to figure out what kind of wedding ring to get her and stuff. They do that here, right? Of course they do, Lucia said she wanted a ring on her finger.”

“It is traditional. As is asking her parents for her hand.”

“Well, apparently, her parents don’t talk to her, and how, exactly, do I conspire to go to Siracusa? It’s the exact opposite fucking direction of Victoria, where we’re supposed to be for a meeting in a couple of weeks. A pretty fucking important one.”

“You could write a letter.”

“I guess. I, uh…I guess I should ask Lucia about her parents, huh?”

“The information would be in her personnel file.”

“What, and you can just get that?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, right. SWEEP clearance. Uh, probably better to just ask her, right?”

“Yes,” Texas agreed.

We talked a bit more after that, mostly about bad anime, then watched a couple of episodes. Sussurro was going shopping with Ingrid, and, well, I couldn’t exactly go do that. So I’d told her to go have fun and I’d hang with Texas, who said it was easiest to guard me if I just stayed back at her room. Normally, me being in another woman’s room would have made Sussurro extremely jealous, but since Texas was about as straight as a roundabout, Lucia seemed to consider her one of my “guy friends.”

We were halfway through an episode of Vash the Stampede, which had gone from goofy screwball comedy to seriously depressing drama over the course of the past couple of episodes, when Texas’ phone let out an odd warble that I recognized. 

When your world is turning inside out

What do you think you’re gonna do?

Follow a dead end road, while I expose the truth!

I’m no savage, you’re just average!

I know that the truth's a lot to ask,

I’m gonna rip off that mask!

“Holy shit, is that Lappland’s ringtone?!” I gasped, jerking upright as Texas muted the TV and frowned at her phone. 

“Not a live call,” Texas said, picking it up gingerly like it was a loaded gun. “Too far. It’s a recorded message. A messenger must have uploaded it.”

“You want some privacy?” I said, reaching for my cane to haul myself up. 

“No, it’s fine,” Texas said, and unlocked the screen. A moment later, the message began to play. The all too familiar pale eyes and grinning face of Lappland Saluzzo appeared, nearly pressed up against her own camera. 

“Celenia, daaaaarrrlling!” Lappland cackled. “Guess who? It has been so long! Tell me, does your right thigh still ache? I tried to be gentle, but you know how I get when we play together! I still have the love mark you left me, haha!”

Texas’s ears flattened on her head, and a scowl disfigured her face. I felt pretty uncomfortable, but Texas had said I should stay, so…

“Well, enough about us, how have you been? I’ve heard some fascinating rumors about you! Only good things, which is such a disappointment. You’d think the daughter of the Texas family would get up to something interesting once in a while, eh? Anyways…you’ll never guess who I’ve run into!”

The camera panned to reveal a table set with candles and laden with what appeared to be a home-cooked meal. Though I hope someone other than Lappland cooked it: I don’t know that I wouldn’t trust her not to do something weird to the food. 

And, sitting across from Texas…

“SORA!” Texas snarled, clutching the phone close to her face, a look of pure rage on her features. “Lappland, I swear, if you touch one hair on her head, I will diu nei lou mou!”

Ok, if Texas busts out the Lungmenese profanity, I think she’s officially lost it. 

“Uh, hi, Texas!” Sora said, waving timidly. She looked very nervous and uncomfortable, shifting in her seat, eyes darting around “Er, this is sort of awkward, but-”

The camera swiveled away from Sora, and back onto Lappland. 

“-but we ran into one another, and I couldn’t help but borrow Sora while she was in town for an encore of her previous performance last year!” Lappland cackled. She winked at the camera. “Well, we wish you were here! Then we could have a threesome, hehe!” 

“L-Lappland! That’s not-” Sora protested from off-screen, but Lappland waved her to silence. 

“Anywho, I made your favorite, Pasta alla Trapanese! Sora seems to like my cooking better than yours, eh? Maybe I’ll steal your girlfriend, just like she stole mine! Haha! Well, I know you’re very busy, saving the world and all, but don’t worry…”

Lappland’s scared left eye was pressed practically up to the camera as she crooned, “I’ll take very good care of your little Sora. Her secret is safe with me. Ciao!” 

Then the video feed ended. 

I held my breath as Texas sat there, entire body trembling, gripping her phone so hard I thought the screen would crack, tail bristling behind her. 

Suddenly, Texas leapt to her feet, grabbing her two swords and then strapping them to her back. Then she froze, and spun, eyes very wide, looking at me with a wild desperation I never thought I’d see from her even as I struggled to my feet.

“I can’t go!” Texas hissed, running forward and grabbing my by the collar. She didn’t shake me or lift me up, just held on to me, shaking like a leaf on the wind. “I can’t go! I, I swore to protect you! Swore to Sora. I…what do I do!?”

“Slow down, are you sure this isn’t some sort of prank? Lappland’s always been a drama queen and a trickster, so-”

“She said she kidnapped Sora!” Texas hissed, nostrils flaring. “She had Sora! I thought, I thought she would never, but she’s deranged! I, I have to go, but I can’t!” 

“Slow down, it’s fine! You can go, I understand. Shit, I’d go with you if I wouldn’t slow you down,” I said, grimacing at my own feeble body. 

“No, I, I swore, I can’t…Have to be perfect. Wasn’t perfect. What do I do!?” Texas gasped, and began to stalk back and forth in her small apartment, tail bristling like she’d been shocked, gripping her sheathed swords in her hands. 

She suddenly spun. “You would go with me?”

“I, yeah, of course! But, Texas, I’m shit in a fight and you know it,” I said, feeling about six inches tall.

“Doesn’t matter. If you come, I can protect you. Keep my word. Find Sora. Save her. Prevent. You! You know the future. What is Lappland doing?!”

“Uh…” racked my brain, trying to keep up with what was happening. “I…hold on! Let me at least call Sussuro and Ingrid. Ingrid was there, in the other…timeline? Whatever, she was there.”

I grabbed my own phone and sent an urgent message to Sussurro: Texas having a panic attack. Need you and Ingrid STAT. Sora in danger.

A moment later, Sussurro sent back OMW. 

I sighed and looked up, then started when I saw Texas dig out a pack of smokes, and light one up, then start puffing away like a locomotive. “Uh, I thought you quit.”

“I did. Need one. Have to think,” Texas said around the cig, still puffing away. She had smoked the whole thing in just a few minutes, then had lit another when the door banged open and Igrid and Lucia piled in. 

 “Where is the danger? What has that Saluzzo bitch done?!” Ingrid snarled, hand on her sword hilt. 

“James, Texas, are you OK?” Sussurro demanded, coming right to me and grabbing my arm, concern in her eyes as she looked to Texas.

“She took Sora,” Texas said, and handed over her phone. Ingrid had to lower it slightly so Sussurro could watch while the short video played.

“I…well, it seems like maybe she’s just teasing you?” Sussurro suggested, and I nodded. 

“Yeah, maybe it’s just her sense of humor.”

“No,” Ingrid said, her expression thunderous as she tossed the phone back to Texas, who caught it one-handed, still dragging on her cigarette. “Give me one of those.”

Texas handed over a cigarette and lighter, which Ingrid lit and placed in her mouth, taking a long drag.

“Ingrid?! You, you quit when you were pregnant, 15 years ago!” Sussurro gasped, scandalized.

“I lied,” Ingrid said with a grim smile. “When I am home, or around Lisa, no smoking. But when I work? I need a smoke. And this is work.”

Sighing, Ingrid took a second pull, then lowered the cancer stick. “There is an art form to the threat. One that the Saluzzo famiglia are experts at. Lappland Saluzzo is no fool. She knows what she is doing, and how.”

“Yes,” Texas agreed around her own smoke. “She was very precise with her words. It was more implied. Subtle. But the threat was there. Naked as her blade.”

“The dagger on the table pointed towards Sora was a good touch. Classy, as far as extortion goes,” Ingrid mused, shaking her head. 

I looked at Sussurro helplessly. I hadn’t even noticed the dagger.

“I…yes, that is a classic sign someone is marked for death in Siracusa,” Sussurro admitted, ears drooping and tail tucked between her legs. 

Texas was shaking again, one fist clenched, the other pressing her cigarette to her lips. “I…I have sworn to protect James. To save the world. I…I cannot simply run to Sora. But, if I don’t…”

“The Saluzzos are rabid dogs. She has not demanded anything yet. But she will. If you do not give it to her,” Ingrid grimaced. “I could go in your stead, but, I am not in such good standing in Siracusa myself. And the war between Saluzzo and Venezia, it is well known, yes?”

“You said you would come, with me,” Texas said in a pleading tone, turning to me with desperation in her eyes. “We could leave. Now. Be back in time for the conference.”

“That…doesn’t seem like such a hot idea. Wouldn’t me being along just mean more heat?” I asked, rubbing the back of my neck.

Texas growled, slamming a fist on the table, but not speaking. 

“Where are your balls?” Ingrid sneered. “Are you not a man?”

I was about to tell her that I was a crippled doctor whose fight experience consisted of reenacting WWE moves with his brother, but Sussurro beat me to it. 

“James has plenty of balls, Ingrid! He embraces death every time he cures a patient! He embraced death for me, for Vigna, for Texas! So chiudi il becco! Santi e angeli, you are both thinking with your balls like hairy-chested men! Stop being idiots and use your brains like women!” 

Texas slumped in her seat and nodded, while Ingrid laughed. “Very well, piccola imbroglione. And what do you suggest? We cannot let this threat go ignored. To do so would dishonor Texas’ name, and be a risk to her Sora’s very life.”

“Simple. We talk to someone older and wiser, who has experience in these matters,” Sussurro huffed, sticking her nose in the air. 

“And who, exactly, is older and wiser in these matters than I?” Ingrid demanded. 

The door hissed open, and Sussurro pointed. “Her.”

“I have already viewed Lappland Saluzzo’s video message,” Kal’tsit said as she strode in, which made Texas’ ears lay back flat as she growled, baring a fang at the Director. “I have assessed the threat to Sora’s life, and find it to be minimal.”

“Minimal. When the Saluzzo bitch lays a bare blade on the table and points it at her?” Ingrid demanded hotly. 

Kal’tsit’s eyes flicked to the cigarette in Ingrid’s hand, then to Texas, now on her third smoke. 

“You both have stated in your health records that you have ceased to engage in smoking cigarettes. Comply, or I will be forced to amend your health records and alert Dr. Warfarin.”

“I am not scared of that Vampire-” Ingrid began

“-and Operator Suzuran. I believe she would be most interested to learn her mother has taken up smoking again.”

Ingrid grunted, but tossed the cigarette in the ashtray that Texas on the table. Texas puffed two more times, then put out her own cancer stick. 

“You could have just said you dislike cigarette smoke,” Ingrid snorted, but folded her arms over her chest. “Fine. So, you say we do not have to go to help Sora?”

“Risks are minimal: Less than 20%. Threatening Sora’s life is uncharacteristic of Operator Lappland’s psych profile,” Kal’tist said evenly. 

“Twenty percent is too high,” Texas stated. “I will not accept a risk profile greater than 5%.”

“Illogical, but understandable given your relationship to Sora,” Kal’tsit said. She regarded Texas, then glanced at me and Sussurro. “James, Lucia, how fares your domestic life?”

“I, uh, funny you should mention that,” I said as Sussurro bristled. “I, um, well, I was just talking with Texas about, well…maybe trying to get in touch with Lucia’s parents?”

Sussuro’s head snapped around, eyes wide, and her tail started to wag so hard her butt started to shake back and forth. Ok, that was adorable. Definitely made proposing worth it. 

“An excellent proposition. Very well. I am placing you on assignment to Siracusa to meet Dr. Sussurro’s parents,” Kal’stit said without blinking. “Texas, Vulpisfogolia, you will accompany them.”

“A weed? You give me a name from a weed?” Ingrid grumbled, but she had a smile on her lips. 

“Wait, what?!” I gasped.

Kal’tsit glanced at me. “You have limited time before the Victorian Conference. After that…certain events will be set in motion. Take what time you can for personal matters now. There will not be time in future for it. Additionally, I will be sending you with a missive for Lappland Saluzzo. I believe this particular message is in response to an earlier communication I sent, though I had not thought it had reached her.”

“You sent Sora to her?!” Texas snarled, jumping up, sword in her hand, eyes wild.

Kal’tsit gave Texas a mild look. “I sent your former employer, the Emperor of Birds and Beasts. It seems he brought Sora with him. It is well you should get a chance to speak with her, before the conference. I send James McCoy that he might pour out his heart, and establish a lasting connection to Terra. See that you do the same, Celenia Texas. For what comes next, we must not be unmoored from mortal concerns: rather, we must firmly anchor ourselves in our humanity, and remember always not why we fight, but for who we cannot afford to fail.”

“Well that sounds…ominous,” I said slowly. “Kal’tsit, what are you saying? And, uh for the slow ones here…twenty words or less. Please?”

A small smile tugged at Kal’tsits lips. “We fight for love. Go, and find the love you fight for. I will remain here.”

“Is this safe for James? There are many who seek his blood. Here, at least, we can keep him safe,” Sussurro said, clinging protectively to my arm and glaring at Kal’tsit. 

“The time when Rhodes Island is the sanctuary that shelters us from the Catastrophes of the world is ending. Already, one foe infiltrated us and threatened the life of Dr. McCoy. Others, more insidious by far, lie ahead. You will be in no more danger than if you remained here; perhaps less so. You will go incognito and officially remain here. Your party will be small: Only three others will I add to it.”

“That number had best include my Lisa,” Ingrid growled. “If this place is too dangerous for your precious Bones, then it is too dangerous for my Lux.”

“That is agreeable, four is as good as three,” Kal’tsit said with a nod. “I will make the preparations. You depart in lieu of our regularly scheduled Siracusian relief flight tomorrow morning. Make what preparations you require.”

And with that, The Hag of the Island just turned around and left, leaving the rest of us slightly stunned. 

“Well. I suppose I am to go and inform Lisa that we will be visiting her grandfather!” Ingrid said brightly. “She will be delighted. Just do not tell her this is a working trip, please.” 

Texas nodded silently, slumped in her seat as Ingrid touched Sussurro on the shoulders and smiled at her. They exchanged air kisses, then Ingrid vanished as well. 

I went over to Texas. “Hey, Tex. You gonna be OK?”

“Yes. I…I would prefer to depart immediately,” Texas said, breathing a heavy sigh. “But. A short delay to secure air transport will decrease travel time. Even if…I wish to be moving. I will…pack. Yes. Prepare. This must be perfect. Sora…Sora must be safe.”

“She will be. Her knight in shining armor and her trusty but bumbling squire are on their way to rescue her, right?” 

Texas frowned at me. “I am not Kazimierzian. I am Columbian. I am an assassin.” 

“Ok, yes, literally, that’s true, but you’re heroically going to ride to Sora’s rescue, right?” I said.

“No,” Texas said, and tears suddenly filled her eyes, and she hugged her sword to her chest tightly. “I am going to kill my best and oldest friend.”

“Woah, Texas, that’s not-” I fumbled for words, but Sussurro came up and hugged Texas tightly. 

“Idiota lupo. You won’t have to kill Lappland. You’ll see. She’s crazy, but not stupid. She wouldn’t threaten Sora, she likes her!”

“I…I just…I cannot lose Sora. Without her…I…I am nothing,” Texas whimpered, and I gave her a hug also. 

We sat there with Texas for an hour after that, until Sussurro administered her a sedative so she could get some rest, because she was way too worked up to fall asleep on her own. It was early yet, but Texas was going to need the sleep. 

We walked the short distance to our own suite, leaning on each other more than a little. When we were inside, Sussurro quietly closed the door, then turned to me and buried her face in my chest, holding me tightly. I held her, not saying anything, not sure what I could say. This was all happening really fast and seemed frankly insane. 

“Did you mean it?” Sussurro asked softly, which startled me out of my own reverie. 

“Uh, about Texas being a knight? Sorta?” 

“No, you deficiente!” Sussurro snapped, glaring up at me and gripping me so tight it almost hurt. “I am meaning, about meeting my parents. You are understanding what this is meaning, yes?!” 

Her accent was getting really thick, which was pretty hot if I am honest. 

“Oh. Well, I mean, I’m not going to have many chances. They might not even talk to me, but I at least have to try, right?” I said, bending down to kiss the top of her head. 

“I, yes, it is just…why did you change your mind?” she asked, sounding a little helpless. “You did not seem like you cared, earlier.”

“I do care. I’m just…worried. About you.”

“What, that I would reject you!? Haven’t I made my feelings clear yet!?” 

“No, it’s more…what if I die and leave you? If we had a kid, and I never got to see them grow up, left you as a single mom…that’d be a real dick move, huh?”

“Then don’t you dare die,” Sussurro said, and kissed me. Then she pinched me, hard. “Or I’ll kill you myself! Especially after introducing you to my parents!” 

“Well, they’re not in…uh, what city are we going to, anyway?” I asked, realizing I had no idea what city Il Siracusano and I Portatori dei Velluti took place in. “Not Palermo, right?”

“It is Volsinii. Don’t you and Texas ever talk?” Sussurro asked, sounding half exasperated, half amused. 

“Mostly about anime.”

“Men. And I am including that idiota lupo in that. It is good you are so tall and handsome, or I would have no use for you,” Sussurro told me, and kissed me again. 

She nearly knocked me over, actually, and I had to stagger over to the couch. I sat her down on my lap and kissed her again, and things got heated, fast. Apparently, she rather liked that I was going to go talk to her parents. After we dealt with the little mess Lappy the Unemployed had made. 

“Mmm, wait here, I’ll get the condoms,” Sussurro gasped after we’d tossed our clothes about with reckless abandon. 

I considered that, then pulled her closer. “Let’s not. Maybe we’ll have a surprise for your parents when we meet them.”

“I, James, you-” Sussurro growled and bit me on the neck. I bit her back, just a little. 

We didn’t get a lot of sleep that night, especially not on the couch, as I was too tired to bother getting up to go to bed, and Sussurro was content to sleep on top of me. When I did however, I dreamed of Sussurro holding a little pink-furred baby, with cute little ears. 

Maybe Kal’tsit was right. You just had to find what you loved, and decide it was worth fighting for.