was just chatting with someone about self love and figured ya know what- why don’t i share this just in case i can possibly help someone

so here is a copy and paste of what i told them! i’m sure there’s so many examples in here that yall already actively do but if i can just help even 1 person, then its worth and i hope it receives you well <3

“i’m not sure what will stick but here is my advice that i would give as someone who has been on the self love journey for 3 years with my therapist

these are just the things that resonated with me so you might be diff but i think it’s great to even just be aware of and maybe try if you’re ever feeling up to it:

somatic therapy - dance, jump, shake, hum, breathe, squeeze. basically let it out with your body. locking a lot of your emotions up and keeping them tight in your mental rather than letting your nervous system freely experience them physically is so hard on yourself so anything that moves your body to help these emotions out when you’re feeling overwhelming can be so helpful with regulating yourself

identifying the feeling and sensation + location (ie im feeling angry and the sensation is heat, tingles in my head, sharpness in my stomach etc). i personally have a feeling/sensations glossary in one of my journals. but i also note positive ones!! (feeling: confidence sensation: solid chest, energized throat). i think this has helped me be that much more in tune with myself

understanding that i cannot hate myself into one day loving myself. it’s kinda like how i realized the pressure i was putting on myself wasn’t serving me. the feelings associated with hating yourself are not serving you but validate its existence!! “im really disappointed in myself right now but that is ok bc i am capable of change” or “i needed to be harsh on myself when i was younger and my environment was volatile, but i am safe now and dont need this harshness anymore” (these are just examples, idk your exact experience)

talking to my damaged child self as my grown self. when i am acting out bc of negative feelings, i recognize it’s probably bc im reverting back to my child self so i imagine my grown self (the me now) who is full of wisdom to sit down and talk to child me and just chat with her about her feelings / her fears and then i guide and console her as an adult

last one, i remember truly hating myself

like i remember not really have hope bc i just didn’t even believe i was capable of loving myself bc i’ve genuinely hated myself my whole life but i started practicing radical self love

and i say radical bc it was so far fetched to me. telling myself “i love myself” felt equivocal to “i am going to live forever” like it just wasn’t true, isn’t true, never will be true

but that’s what i did

i started embodying radical self love

i would ask myself “what would someone who just *FUCKINGGG LOOVEEDD THEMSELVES SO MUCH* do right now? how would they talk to themselves? what would they say”

and i think that really helped me bc i never even imagined a world where i was capable of loving myself and it kinda cleared the way for all my doubt

i would normally scoff at any acts of self love that i would do bc i felt like a poser. in my head id be like “ok ya but i don’t actually love myself so pfft”

but once i was like fuck it, radical self love!! and embodied that, it personably helped me to tie self love to my identify

so now i think to myself “i DO love myself” and genuinely believe it bc it’s part of my identity - i am someone who loves themselves

i love you!!!”