My Favorite Beast Wars Transformers (VIDEO SCRIPT)

Have you ever found yourself wondering, “Gee; I wonder what La’Ron’s favorite Beast Wars characters are?”

If you have... you’re weird. But you’re MY kind of weird. And that’s all that matters.

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Readers, Beast Wars was a show that aired...

It took place in the same universe as the original Transformers series. First hinting that it was a sequel to it only to reveal later on in the show that it was actually a PREQUEL to the original 80’s show, due to some JJ Abrams red matter time travel mumbo jumbo

And for a lot of Millennials who didn’t grow up on the original show, or didn’t know of any television channels that played the reruns, Beast Wars was a lot of peeps’ first introduction to the Transformers franchise

...I-It’s me; I’m “a lot of Millennials”-slash-peeps

Yeah, I’ll admit it; Beast Wars was my first REAL experience with Transformers, surprisingly enough.

Like I knew OF the original Transformers, but what I knew was so little, that it didn’t even matter!

I swear after watching like, 10 or so episodes of the show, I could’ve sworn I thought:

Ain’t there a version of this where they’re cars and planes or some shit? What’s THAT one called, Vehicle Wars?

Listen, I was a child and I didn’t know where to go to watch reruns of the 80s Transformers show.

Hell, I only knew about He-Man as a kid because he was referenced in Ghostbusters 2, and was only able to make the connection when I saw the remake Cartoon Network made. I-I honestly don’t know what you want from me.

Anyway, for the longest I watched Beast Wars on and off and even got a few of the toys here and there.

So because there’s no wrong way to establish yourself as part of a fandom outside of being a gatekeeping dickhead, I’d consider myself to be a casual fan of Beast Wars

And being a casual fan, I kinda developed my favorite characters as a result. 

Optimus Primal is the obvious first choice

I always liked his style of leadership, I thought his voice was cool

I found it hilarious that he had to twist the lower half of his body ALL the way around when he transformed while everything else was pretty much instantaneous.

It was like, watching someone take one of those 100 multiplication problem quizzes and the kid sitting next to you always knocked them out in record time, while you’re trying to catch up even though you’re still on problem number 5?

Like “Shit! Ho-hold up! I-I’m almost...I’m ALMOST THERE!”

I also liked that his animal was a gorilla, which was one of my favorite animals as a kid. Still is as an adult, specifically male silverback gorillas, and I’m JUST NOW REALIZING IT.

I like Congo more than Jurassic Park mostly because I cared more about the gorillas than the dinosaurs. That, and, y’know, Ernie Hudson

Luca was pretty much my favorite ape other than Caesar in the Planet of the Apes reboot trilogy

I always choose Donkey Kong in Mario Party and Mario Kart.

Winston from Overwatch is LITERALLY my boyfriend; I am CLEARLY a ride-or-die Harambe Boi. That’s the only time I’ll ever reference that meme in the existence of my life, so SAVOR IT

Dinobot was my introduction to Vegeta...before I was introduced to Vegeta

I hope that makes sense to you, because I’m not gonna explaining that analogy any other way

Like, he was Vegeta if Vegeta was LESS whack from the gate, if that makes any sense.

Not only does he leave the Predicons in episode 1 and challenges Optimus in battle to be the new leader of the Maximals by the end of it, but he accepts his defeat when it happens, gains respect for Optimus when he beats him and still joins up with them afterwards!

Vegeta would NEVER. (Thinks about it) Shit; he DIDN’T!

Cheetor is like the Bumblebee of Beast Wars, but with traces of Michaelangelo from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, if that makes sense?

Like, watching him growing up I always enjoyed his energy and the archetype he was supposed to represent.

A gung-ho rookie that’s trying to make a name for himself in the ranks of the Maximals

I also couldn’t help but notice that he was the main character in at least 2/3rds of the show

Not that I had a problem with it, though. His personality was likeable enough for me to fine with how much he was in the spotlight

It also helped that the second Maximal that got the most time other than Optimus Primal was Rattrap. And I LOVE Rattrap.

His Brooklyn accent, the way his sense of reason folded into his sense of humor, everything. I ADORE Rattrap as a character.

And he wasn’t like, Jaskier levels of annoying with his comedic relief! And yes, he IS annoying; I don’t care how many times you ship him with Geralt

Silverbolt. I LOVE SILVERBOLT

If Lancelot from Arthurian legend were a Transformer, that motherfucker would be Silverbolt

Blackarachnia -- one of the baddest bitches on Predacons roster -- took one look at this dude and was like, “Okay, I’ll be a Maximal.” Like damn, girl; is the dick that good??”

But all jokes aside, he and Blackarachnia’s love story was pretty nice to watch. ESPECIALLY in Beast Machines when she pretty much went through hell and back to get him to remember his past life

And Waspinator. (pauses) Ah, Waspinator.

He’s like if Starscream went full-blown comic relief, and I LOVE HIM

My friends who watched Beast Wars would find him hella annoying when they watched the show, and it was mostly due to his voice. I’m ABSOLUTELY sure of that

But to me, his voice adds so much to his personality, and it did a great job conveying that he’s supposed to be this living embodiment of that annoying ass buzzing when insects fly too close to your ear

Couple that with the way he overreacts every time he gets defeated, and he’s pretty much Insect Team Rocket; it was beautiful.

Waspinator Voice: Megatron, may I have some potatoes? I haven’t had potatoes in 16 days!

(full-blown laughter)

Readers, if you wanna get physical copies of the Beast Wars series, I have links in the description below to where you can buy all 3 seasons and still help out the channel.

I would link the toys of the Transformers I mentioned in this video, but Jesus Christ, those bitches are a goddamn CAR PAYMENT. I’m not doing that shit to you!

Nevertheless Readers, your homework assignment for the day:

Write in the comment section below what YOUR favorite Transformers from Beast Wars are

That way you’ll be too busy telling me how much Rhinox is underrated to even complain about the fact that he didn’t make my list! STRATEGY! :D