Pet Sematary: 1989 (VIDEO SCRIPT)

Today on Film Friday, I take a look at the 1989...classic? Pet Sematary. Let’s begin

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/Pet Sematary was a horror movie released in 1989 directed by Mary Lambert, who would go on to direct the Disney Channel original movie Halloweentown 2: Kalabar’s Revenge./ Strike Number 1. /Based off of the horror novel of the same name, It tells the story of Dr. Louis Creed, who uprooted his family and himself from Chicago to take a gig at the University of Maine. Through ghosts and neighbors, he discovers a Native American burial ground hidden behind a pet cemetery created by kids back in the day and discovers that it can bring the dead back to life. Then when tragedy strikes, well, you know how white people be. The story was written by Stephen King and published 6 years prior, who also wrote the screenplay for this movie./ Strike Number 2.

Now Readers, I never really grew up with this movie, nor did I really see it as much as let’s just say...Stephen King’s IT mini-series, so I never really considered this a cult classic as much as everyone else has.

Though, I can honestly see this as something I would’ve been scared of watching as a kid, only to look back at it when I got older and went “why the fuck was I scared of this??”

I was KINDA that way with IT when I was younger, but I watched it at a point of development in my life where I was right at the cusp of “I don’t need to immediately run up the stairs after I turn the basement lights off so that I don’t get caught by whatever’s down there,” so the scares didn’t really resonate with me.

Unfortunately, with this being my first time seeing this movie, I kinda envy those who can even classify this in the “it’s so bad it’s good” cult horror folder. Because I...can’t...EVEN

And not even because it wasn’t scary, but because it wasn’t...good? (laughs)

Like, even for all of their schlock and camp after the first one, at least the Nightmare on Elm Street movies were various degrees of entertaining 

And I don’t think it’s good for a lot of reasons other than the horror element; there are a lot of things both in front of the camera and behind the camera that played a factor fpr me

Part of the reasonings were the two strikes I gave the movie earlier on in the beginning blurb of this video. So let’s start with the first one, director Mary Lambert.

Readers, this was Mary Lambert’s SECOND gig as a director, with her first one being an indie film named Siesta starring Jodi Foster, Martin Sheen and Grace Jones; another movie based on a novel, this one by Patrice Chaplin.

Before then, she was more known for directing music videos, /and trust me; considering the artists she worked with and the videos she directed, she clearly knew what the fuck she was doing./ Janet Jackson’s “Control,” Madonna’s “Borderline”

And I assure you, this is not me bashing Mary Lambert in the slightest. There were a few things as far as what she wanted to do and how she wanted to do it that worked in my opinion.

/I’m mostly talking about Rachael’s flashbacks with Zelda and how she was able to use her music video background to make that one of the most memorable scenes in this movie/

Then there’d be scenes that felt too much like an 80’s music video(?) instead of an actual movie, if that makes sense.

It’s kinda like watching early Michael Bay stuff, and you can just tell through certain shots and scenes, cinematography aside, that they were just pulled from a car commercial? Because he used to direct car commercials?

However, the difference between Bay and Lambert this early in the game for her, is that despite us making fun of Bay for the Michael Bay-isms he presents in his films, he had enough experience under his belt with both commercials and movies alike to get his actors in his movies to appropriately emote.

That being said, watching the result of Lambert’s direction with her actors in Pet Sematary was a monotonic nightmare.

/There’s Ellie, who constantly felt like she was trying too hard to get me to believe she was a kid,

There’s Louis, who has no personality, and the most confusing relationship with his wife Rachael, ever.

/Because of their lack of emoting and direction over the course of this movie, there were parts of it where I genuinely thought that they were on the verge of separation or some shit because of their body language, and how they both talked and looked at each other. Then in the next scene - or even the next few frames - I’d see them happy together or confiding in each other in a way that implies that no such problems ever existed; I was confused as all Hell!/

And speaking of Rachael... Jesus Christ, Rachael was just a waste of potential. But I’ll elaborate more on that in a little bit.

/Honestly, the only acting exception in this movie was three year old Miko Hughes as Gage Creed. Both as a regular human and a born again abomination, that little boy was so great!/

But after learning what I learned about this movie, I can’t really lay all the blame on Mary Lambert. I have to give a lot of it to my second strike. The fact that Stephen King had so much control.

I think it’s very clear the difference between a Stephen King adaptation involving Stephen King, versus a Stephen King adaptation NOT involving Stephen King.

You have 1980’s the Shining directed by Stanley Kubrick with a screenplay by Kubrick and Diane Johnson that ends up becoming a staple in visual storytelling, versus Stephen King’s 3-part Shining mini-series that made me question humanity.

Then you have his other mini-series that he heavily involved himself in, like the Langoliers and Rose Red, because surprisingly enough, Stephen King had little to no involvement with the adaptation of IT that the majority of us grew up with.

The majority of the film adaptations of Stephen King’s works that I’m a fan of are the ones that he has no involvement in: Kubrick’s The Shining, Misery, IT: Chapter One.

So when I saw that Stephen King was allowed to write the screenplay for Pet Sematary, then found out that he and Mary Lambert had a synergized relationship when it came to what I saw on screen, I immediately became terrified for the wrong reasons.

Mostly due to the stuff that was in the book that he changed in the screenplay or just flat-out eliminated that would’ve made Louis and Rachael a lot more compelling, in my opinion.

For example, the neighbor of the Creeds, Jud Crandall had a wife in the book that needed medical attention, and Louis saves her before Rachael and the kids go to Chicago for Thanksgiving. This helps the two grow close and form a more believable friendship and bond later on down the line when shit hits the fan.

/Well, the movie replaces her with Missy, a maid that handles the Creed’s laundry, and suffers HEAVILY from TMI-tis/

She later on hangs herself in the basement of her home for no reason at all from what we the audience can figure out.

And it’s not like the story or the characters are impacted by it in any way possible, because they just continue on with their lives without her as if she was never there to begin with.

You can argue that she was there to show Ellie that death was just as important as life for her character, since she attended her funeral with Louis and Jud.

As a matter of fact, that would’ve been a perfect opportunity for Ellie to actually REACT to death, since that was the closest thing beside seeing the cemetery she’s come to experiencing it.

/But instead, it’s just washed away, and outside of giving her some traditional Stephen King anti-God tirade that goes nowhere and is kinda out of the blue for someone like her, Ellie is continued to be overprotected when Louis and Jud take Church the cat to be resurrected at the Native American burial ground because according to Jud she’s too young to be introduced to the concept of death in the form of her losing a pet, WHEN SHE CLEARLY WASN’T TOO YOUNG TO ATTEND THE FUNERAL OF THEIR MAID WHO KILLED HERSELF/

And then, there’s Rachael, where through her parents and her sister Zelda, there was definitely an effort to make her an interesting character.

But like I stated before, Denise Crosby’s performance suffered from a lack of direction.

/Like, the moment I saw her when they entered the Pet Sematary, I could tell that there was MORE she wanted to emote, more that she wanted to display. It clearly reminded her of a moment in her past that the book went into that could’ve easily made it into the movie, but it didn’t./

Like, it’s obvious that the main themes in Pet Sematary are loss and guilt.

Louis handles loss by trying to reclaim control; to get shit back to the way things were, and Rachael deals with the guilt she lived with letting her sister Zelda die. We get it, but in order for her to come across as a well rounded character in this movie, we don’t get enough of it.

/And to be honest, we don’t get enough time with Rachael to even CARE about her guilt. Whatever it is that we got in this movie is extremely short-lived because the focus is on Louis for the majority of the movie, and once again because of the lack of direction and emotion portrayed, he’s just SO FUCKING BORING!/

Readers, I wish I could see the appeal of this movie, I truly do.

I wish I grew up with this being a cult classic, or even be able to file this under the rest of my “So Bad It’s Good” movies.

But as a 30 year old man seeing this movie for the first time, and knowing that the director’s lack of experience and Stephen King’s ultimate control of the project pretty much created a perfect storm, this 1989’s Pet Sematary -- to quote one of the lines said in this movie -- ain’t natural.

Right now, if you want, you can stream Stephen King’s Pet Sematary on Hulu, rent it on YouTube and Google Play for up to $3, and Vudu and iTunes for up to $4

But if you’d prefer to wait for the most recent adaptation -- and if that’s the case, then I cannot blame you -- you can catch the non-Stephen King involved remake of Pet Sematary, in theaters April 5th, 2019

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So with that being said Readers, your homework assignment for the day. Write in the comment section what you thought of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary if you’ve seen it.

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But until then, this is Readus 101. Class dismissed.