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I Hired You to Solve a Problem, Now I Am One - F4A - Crime Comedy - A Corgi Assassination Plot and a Whole Lot of Flirting

Added 2025-09-10 03:16:01 +0000 UTC

You showed up late, and I almost walked. Almost. But then I saw your face and my brain short-circuited. I’m a cop. Allegedly. You’re a criminal. Probably. We should not be doing this. But here I am, flirting with you like it’s my job, and maybe it is. I wanted to hire you for something clean, quiet, subtle. And now all I want is to kiss you. Or arrest you. Or both. I’ve lost track. The target is a dog. The threat is you. The real crime is how badly I want this to go wrong.

🧑‍🎤 Speaker Teaser
I was supposed to give you a job, not beg you to ruin me in a stairwell.

🎧 Listener Teaser
You’re either a criminal or a cop, and somehow that makes you hotter. Which is very inconvenient for both of us.

✧ Filed Under: This Is What You’re In For ✧

[F4A] I Hired You to Solve a Problem, Now I Am One [Romantic Comedy][Cop Roleplay][Undercover Assassin Listener][Suspiciously Hot Stranger][Not a Cop. Definitely a Cop][Wait, Are We Flirting or Negotiating?][When the Target Has Four Legs and Biscuits][You’re Pretty and That’s a Problem][Oh God, I Hired You to Kill My Dog][This Is Definitely Not Standard Procedure][I Am Not Okay and It’s Your Fault][We Can Stakeout and Make Out][No, I Will Not Explain Portly Again][Flustered][Playful][Conflicted][Messy][Compromised][Suspicious][Impulsive][Embarrassed][I Wanted to Arrest You, Not Feel Things][Oops, Feelings][Professional Distance, My Arse][Enemies to Lovers][Secret Identity][Forbidden Romance][Gender Neutral][You’re Late. And I Don’t Wait. Except, Apparently, for You][If This Is a Sting, I’m Begging You to Make It Romantic. Preferably with Handcuffs]

⚠︎ Read Me Before You Regret It ⚠︎

Trigger Warnings: emotional instability, moral ambiguity, implied violence, law enforcement themes, suggestive dialogue, emotional manipulation

✧ Just One Question... ✧

I mean, apart from possibly commissioning a hit on my own corgi and flirting with someone I might need to arrest… what would you say is the most criminal thing I’ve done lately?

Pick your poison. I won’t be taking notes. Probably.