Monster Essays: Elves

Elves felt like the next logical step. Smart, similar to humans, magical enough to hide unexplained. They've been around for a wehile in the stories but only starred in one, maybe two stories.

Dylan Eywind

History of Interspecies Relations II

Immortal Love. The History of Elves.

**B+. I appreciate your personal experience but avoid using I in objective essays. I’d say your close encounters are what made this essay better, but I know you’ve dated a goblin so…**

Much like the demons that were revealed before them, elves are debatably dimensional immigrants to Earth. Unlike most of the races, elves have detailed history to a certain point in time. They do not have records of their origins, but they have records of traveling between their homeworld and the earth we know. There are some records in early elvish history of evading human attention, though the particular reasons seem lost to time. According some to of the eldest of elves and interspecies historians, this appears to be from the peaceful mentality of most elves looking to avoid the more aggressive ancestry of humans.

Elves are loosely as they are depicted in most modern media. As a whole, they tend to appear like Caucasian Europeans with narrow builds and pointed ears. Of all the races, they seem to physically resemble humans most of all. This is likely the explanation for how humans are so genetically compatible with elves, with half-elves like myself becoming a slowly growing minority. Other races of elf exist, but they are effectively the same beyond the color of skin (including bubblegum pink, silver and green), hair etc. and their own cultural subgroups.

Two main factors make elves stand out from the other races; magic and immortality. Elves are long-lived, with lifespans exceeding 1000. Unlike humans and most other species, studies show that elvish cells do not deteriorate over time.  Despite their knowledge of magic, there are no indications of spells that extend their lifespan. During their time secluded from the other races, this may spawn a sense of superiority of elves over them that is still lingering in certain circles, though even older members of our kind are always learning and overcoming this belief.

Initial contact with the humans is said by elven psychologist Jewel Deroche to be a result of curiosity. “Elves steadily lost interest in the ways of ‘mortals,” she describes. “It wasn’t until a bunch of them started meeting with each other and the demons started to step through the barriers between worlds that they started paying attention.”

Elves made themselves known in a similar fashion to demons, but in larger numbers and in less desperation. In fact, while demons held some power over magic, the natural talents of elves from living in their largely magical dimension made them surprised at how little humans knew about it. Between elves and fairies, most modern magic was developed by them. Other races still struggle to wield it, but humans show some promise. After extensive research, Ulia Estwuud opened the Fetterbrook University of Arcana to introduce the mortal races to practical magic.

While elves were pleased to introduce themselves and share some secrets, humans seemed much more comfortable meeting the more mundane-looking elves. There were still social norms to overcome, as elves lived clean, quiet, peaceful lives in their homeland of Everwood. They found the demons a curiosity to see, humans to be charmingly simple in their efforts, and goblins to be positively shocking.

The difference in age was a major element in not only elven society but American law. Elves were shocked to find that humans aged so rapidly that we could legally have sex and marry at the age of 18. This, in turn, sparked the controversy when goblins spoke up against this; they could become sexually active by the age of 5, when the short and curvy creatures were fully grown. After some debate by several races, humans laid down the law; the legal age remained 18 for all US citizens. Special forms could be arranged for sexual consent but given the paperwork, few actually engage in this and take the legal risks instead.

Traditional elves considered a “sexually prepared” age to be 50, where a creature has seen the world and the beauty of all genders to have reached a decision on their preferences. Despite this prudish concept, elves are largely considered enlightened in many ways. The concepts of social equality, gender fluidity, general pacifism, and conservation of nature were common practices among elves, and their social and magical efforts have managed to neutralize most pollution on the planet. This is likely the only reason that borders have begun to open to Everwood, trying to maintain the purity of their homeland. Even now immigration is closely monitored and enforced with local rules.

Many have compared the relationship between elves to humans to that of humans and goblins. As the stigma of humanity goes away from elf mentality, they begin to explore that feeling. Humans becomes a guilty pleasure while humans enjoy their strange but comfortable similarities. It creates some attraction from humans favoring elven ears, and a level of fetishism about them. Elves have no particular taboo or arousal from their ears, but the idea that humans are attracted to them creates some air about it. It’s less of a matter that elves are prudish or sensitive about their ears as anyone would be put off by someone asking to touch your ears (except goblins, who actually have sensitive nerves in them).

Of course, there is the matter of genitalia. Elves are relatively spoiled in their long and comfortable lives of magic, so they have evolved in a way similar to the human stereotype of an alien. Their technology (or in this case magic) makes them intelligent, slender, and bearing comparatively small genitalia to humans. Even halflings have a higher average for depth of vaginas or length of their penises than elves. Like with goblins, elves may be excited or intimidated by humanity’s girth. It is a less practical fit than goblins, as they lack the same elastic insides, but barely penetrating the tight and sensitive vagina of elven women has been known to overload their senses after evolving to deal with short and slender shafts.

Overall, the differences between elves and humans remains more cultural than physical, making them stand out among the other races. They have become some of humanity’s earliest and most compatible allies, helping to open the world’s minds to the more intense races to come.