Last Day In Los Angeles, For Now (Diary, NSFW)

Well, my stay here in LA is coming to an end. I came to do some modeling at the charity baseball events, but so much more happened! I'm hoping what I tried to do at the warehouse (Not the naughty photoshoot!) has some good impact on the community.

And I realized, while I was here, a lot more about how I want to present my story!

My Living The Dream collection has grown up to become similar to a storyline that features, me, Gioni, Clair, Tia, Kirina, and maybe some others as time goes on.

The other storylines have in them characters that are specific to those storylines. For instance Laylana (one of my favorites) exists in the Secrets Of The World storyline. Hayes and Roman exist as the main characters in the Complex Connections storyline.

I'm sure you get the idea.

Another thing I had to attend to was the pricing of the tiers. I had come conversations with other creators who felt my price was too low—I'll just leave it at that and say that I've decided to keep offering discounted Supporter memberships for the first forty people who join. So, if your not a Supporter yet… or if you know someone who would like stories and nice art…

Anyway…

Well, the big event for today is my last California baseball appearance. After today, I'll be appearing in Chicago while I take on a little project in Wisconsin.

The game is later, so I'm heading to the gym for a little workout in a few minutes…

See you there!

Gym Time

Okay, I'm taking a little break…

I want to share some thoughts, and I think it will be… awkward at least. I hope I don't lose friends over this!

Some of you are going to say I'm being duplicitous; harboring double standards.

Maybe that's true… Anyway, about going to the gym…

Aside from overall wellness and health, a lot of people go to the gym to shape their bodies into whatever they think is more attractive. What's funny is that, no matter what you do, someone will wish you to look differently.

I get told I'm too skinny. Thought this picture doesn't look like it, I get told my breasts are too small (the lens and lighting make them seem bigger!)

Okay, please keep reading as I meander to a point.

I want to start with some lyrics from the second verses and chorus of "Most Girls," a song by Hailee Steinfeld:

Some girls, feel best in their tiny dresses
Some girls, nothin' but sweatpants, looking like a princess
Some girls, kiss new lips every single night
They're stayin' out late 'cause they just celebrating life

Some girls, like to keep their physique real private
Some girls, wear jeans so tight 'cause it feels so right, yeah
Some girls, every day searching, keep the page turning
Sleepin' in late 'cause they just celebrating life

You know some days you feel so good in your own skin
But it's okay if you wanna change the body that you came in
'Cause you look greatest when you feel like a d*** queen
We're all just playing a game in a way, tryna win at life

Steinfeld, in this song, speaks out against trying to force girls into stereotypical appearances and roles. She applauds girls of all types.

I want to react to a few of the lines.

Some girls, like to keep their physique real private

This is that touchy thing that might upset some of you. 

NOT ALL GIRLS LIKE TO BE LOOKED AT "that way."

Now, I am a model. OBVIOUSLY, I am trying to GET PEOPLE to LOOK AT ME. If I wanted to keep my physique private, I sure wouldn't post pictures of me in the shower (which don’t appear on IG-link in bio).

No one makes me do this. I’m not a victim. I even make a little money doing this.

But, most people you meet aren’t me, aren’t models trying to catch your eye. To look or not to look?

Guys, my advice is to take the high road. That girl at the store or even the one at the gym is a person who happens to be in a body. A body of some sort. You don't know if they want you to notice or not. Tough situation…

Girls should have a good idea how much looking they want to invite and then dress in a way that they like that fits that idea. Girls should decide how they want their body to look and why, then take steps to get that.

And genetics matters! Consider, most obviously, tallness. If you are 5' 2" (158 cm) tall you can want to be taller all day and all night, but that's (almost certainly) not going to happen (provided you are an adult woman in your twenties or older).

 Physical and mental health should be the overall goal, and aesthetic after that.

People should be free to be who they are and encouraged to become what they want to be.

Steinfeld, in the chorus, takes a shot at saying it’s okay to not have a stereotypical body, but that it’s also “okay if you wanna change the body that you came in.”

Don’t be hating on girls who try to sculpt themselves differently! And don't be hating on girls who don't. Healthy and self-satisfied should be the goal, not trying to be forced into some stereotypical silhouette.

I really hope I made at least one point, here!

Thanks for sticking with me.

Shower Time

Just a quick shower before heading to the stadium!

I know some readers appreciate my boldness. No one has told me it's too much, either.

Are you looking? Remember, I am a MODEL!

I'll get off the soapbox now and find the soap.

As I have said, I am still exploring my own feelings about exposing myself. It has been exciting for me, and I hope some of you have been entertained.

I hope you have. And I hope no one has been off-put!

I also hope you are enjoying the stories and my diary accounts. I'd love to hear your feedback!

So… I'll finish here and see you at the stadium!

Game Time

As hot as it is, that shower I took might have been wasted!

Even with a little overcast, I have to say the temperature is pretty high today, but I am at my last scheduled L.A. baseball event.

They are calling tonight "Red, White, and Blue" day. Team colors… I get it.

I came to the stadium very early today. Before all the pregame activities.

There was an on-field reception where the stars of the team and I met with fans for photos. It was a lot of fun!

I was actually surprised that there were a few people here primarily to see me. I recognized a few of them from when I was shagging foul balls; they sat in the stand near me.

During today's game, I'll be on the 3rd Base side just trying to keep the crowd entertained between batters. I think it will be fun!

After the game, I'll try to relax a little. There's a strip where there are some nice restaurants that have live music. I'm going to go there and have a goodbye meal!

See you then?

Dinner Time

This is it! Last night in L.A. Last meal. (I leave early tomorrow, so I'll just grab a coffee and muffin!)

As I said this morning, I came to do some modeling at the charity baseball events, but so much more happened!

I'm really appreciative of all the readers who have followed along with me and those who have joined along the way!

There's a lot more fun in the future! Let's see what happens together!

{{{{ FIN }}}}}

• Please remember that Ailana is an AI model, a character whose story is presented in first person.