Your Most Gracious Majesty.
With the utmost humility, I beg to convey that the bestowal of copious food to your illustrious female guards has yielded only a modicum of success.
Although their vigour and prominence have risen significantly, I must inform Your Majesty with the heaviest of hearts that a significant number of them have already relinquished their swords owing to their incapacity to bend to lift them off the ground, and a large number are on the verge of relinquishing their capacity to walk.
With utmost sincerity and respect, I affix my signature and title, Rosalinda Marigold, Castellan of Your Most Magnanimous Majesty, with a heart filled with unwavering loyalty and dedication.