CHAPTER 1 OF ARI IS COMPLETE!
Added 2025-09-01 16:00:20 +0000 UTChere's part 3
i never intended this to be a three parter, but i had a lot to get through to set things up, I'm hoping i can go forward with just chapters now...and save the parter type episodes for special occasions
SPECIAL THANX TO GROND FOR HELP EDITING, UPLOADING AND TRANSLATING!
muchisimas gracias grond!
please enjoy, and let me know in the comments, PM, discord, wherever what you think
your opinions mean a great deal to me and i hope you are enjoying my manga^^
https://app.box.com/s/jle0v6b5ey3ko7r9vuy3zy4cq5tzb4wl
Comments
they definitely will, there's plenty of arcs and stories to tell^^
btd 2.0
2025-09-17 18:20:14 +0000 UTCAnyway, I'm interested in the story. I hope more of your characters appear in your illustrations.
Alekey
2025-09-17 17:42:00 +0000 UTCit will have spicy scenes...buts its not a hentai, dont expect that^^;
btd 2.0
2025-09-17 15:15:54 +0000 UTCAs the plot progresses, I wonder if it will have its erotic scenes?
Alekey
2025-09-17 10:25:59 +0000 UTCdas great, gud luck on your story, make sure to always create what your passionate about and not what people expect or is popular^^ if you are still interested in ARI, the means i must have done something right^^ thanx again for your honest critique and support^^
btd 2.0
2025-09-02 04:11:08 +0000 UTCYes of course I'm interested, which is why I took the time to give you my opinion. And don't worry, I understand this is your first manga and there is a learning curve to tackle. I myself am starting a manga too, so I'm as new as you are as a mangaka. To be honest it was because of your manga that I decided to finally get mine going, so you are already inspiring me to make manga too. But yea, I'm sure there is more to come with your manga and I will be looking forward to it. Best of luck.
Ether-Core
2025-09-02 02:32:42 +0000 UTCthe side characters would be the teacher friends and the bully friends, there will be one more main character but thats for much later, im hoping the end of part 3 showed that ari isnt just some stoned face nobody with no feelings..she's a lonely little girl with a mysterious past and we still have lots to figure out, but of course i could have done a better job with everything, i just couldn't keep putting my manga away for later, now's the time , even if it does come out flawed....at least it came out^^; but again, thanx for your honest criticism, hope you are at least a bit interested to se where the story goes^^
btd 2.0
2025-09-02 02:08:07 +0000 UTCyes, i agree i might have gone overboard with to many characters, it is the ari show...but since she is so mysterious, its was important to me to flesh out the rest of the cast and see how they react to her and little by little ari gets less mysterious and more involved but this is the main cast....the teacher, misha, mox and friends mox is the rival that is not Ari's equal but challenges her in ways ari can't compete i didn't want sum dante virgil...ryu akuma, naruko sasuke thing...mox is as dangerous as ari..but in completely different way, she's a skeemer, social engineering, and ari can't compete with that so i had to flesh her out a bit, but also she's not a complete villain, she is not a monster, she's just a bratty little girl that ari isn't familiar with the teacher also has her problems, she's not just a side character, as well as mish
btd 2.0
2025-09-02 02:04:28 +0000 UTCari was never stated to use magya, we still don't know, never said she was an assassin, just someone not to mess with, she's not a normal girl but still a little girl with her own problems like the rest world building is pretty lackluster i admit, i could have a better job on that but its obvious it takes place ina world like ours...but not our world, thats why i never state the name of the city shes in and the currency is varos, not yen as for the honorifics..i add them...cuz i like em, really its a mishmash of things i like around the world and there will be lots of different cultures all jumbled together...and of course...there will be mexican things that aren't mexican cuz mexico doesn't exist i this world
btd 2.0
2025-09-02 01:57:49 +0000 UTCthank you for your criticism^^ couple of things, and by no means am i excussing myself, i am amature at best when it comes to mangaka and this is my very first manga ever so it's bound to not be great from the start, just hope it's good enough to be allowed to improve^^;
btd 2.0
2025-09-02 01:53:05 +0000 UTCUnless of course, those side characters become important at some point. Still, you should focus on the main ones at the beginning, that way readers will care more about them and wonder more about what will happen to them in the story.. Anyway, this is just my opinion, others may think differently, and still just the first chapter too so things may make more sense as more chapters get released. Good luck.
Ether-Core
2025-09-01 23:57:17 +0000 UTCHmm, well art wise is pretty much what one can expect from you, so all good there. Story wise though, seems to me that you are mixing too many themes into the plot. A mysterious girl~ interesting, but she use magic, umm ok? And she is also some sort of assassin? The whole world building seems like a mixbag too, like is the setting in Japan? If so then where are the Japanese? Why are they using honorifics? You could always use a made up place, but always try to keep things grounded and not mix them up too much, not saying you can't do it this way, it just feels weird from my point of view. Also there seem to be too many characters, when you have too many characters trying to do their thing, the main ones lose screentime, should always focus on your main characters before giving any to the side ones, or just simply focus on the main ones for the time being. I mean side characters are just that, side characters, they shouldn't take screen time from the main ones.
Ether-Core
2025-09-01 23:55:02 +0000 UTC
