DD 302 Ch 23

“Ken,” the president of the UG, covered his eyes and gave me a scornful shake of his head. “I cannot believe that you stepped outside of humanity for aid. I believe—and Crimson, correct me if I’m wrong—that I expressly wanted to keep this problem under wraps lest the other races use it against us. The situation in the dungeon is delicate.”

I wanted to snort, it was delicate because we were so much weaker than the other races that he wanted respect from.

While I was being given a dressing-down by the president of the UG, Crimson popped open another bag of potato chips and tilted it consolingly in my direction.

I shook my head, and Crimson only shrugged, popping another chip in her mouth, perhaps enjoying this a little too much.

“And where were you?” the president of the UG stared Crimson down, not that it did any good.

“Working for you,” she said around a mouthful of chips. “This is what happens if you separate me from Ken too long. He finds himself in far too much trouble.” Crimson tutted, and earned herself a glare from me.

The president of the UG put his head in his hands. “You have exposed us to far too much danger, Ken. This is unacceptable.”

I swallowed, it was a natural reaction to being chastised by an authority figure, though I was strangely waiting for the punishment to arrive, and for the last five minutes all he’d done was chastise me as if I was supposed to, I don’t know, slap a pair of cuffs on myself out of guilt.

“Do you have anything to say for yourself?” he asked sharply.

“I already told you, it was beyond our ability to deal with.” I said, standing my ground. “I found resources to deal with the threat and managed it on my own. This wasn’t free for me.”

The president of the UG scoffed. “You’re not the one who gets to make that judgment. The UG has far more resources than you are aware of. I am certain that with Crimson and our resources to bear, we could have solved this Threadspawn issue without demon involvement.” He shook his head at me.

“Well, if we’re just going to say this on repeat, perhaps I should get back to training. There are far better uses of my time. I came here as a courtesy to keep you informed and at this rate, I’m less inclined to do so in the future,” I said, putting my hands on my knees and getting ready to leave.

Only for Crimson to begin laughing out loud, causing the scarred bear of a man to glare at her. “What?”

“All of your bluff and bluster, and he didn’t blink once. You’re not going to do anything, Scaredy Cat.” She didn’t normally say that name to his face.

The president of the UG was a large man covered in battle scars. Yet from what I understand, he was actually a summoner. Those scars would peel off of him into Valkyries to fight on his behalf.

“It was…” He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I am a summoner, and I’ve explained this more than once, Crimson. It is vital that I am not incapacitated, as that would defeat the whole point of being a summoner.”

“Still, you run around like a chicken with your head cut off for a second anything dangerous comes flying your way. I’m also pretty sure screaming isn’t necessary for your survival,” she laughed. “Look, the demon bitch is level 92. She could probably pick me up and kick me around if she wanted. But she’s not going to, because she likes me. And she likes me because she likes Ken.”

“Now you have someone to negotiate on humanity’s behalf if you need it. Bonus points that Ken here is getting put on a super secret project for her.”

“That you refuse to inform the United Guilds about.” He said pointedly, turning back to me.

“This is a personal deal. It has nothing to do with you.” I said. The demon hierarchy and the ongoings inside weren’t something to broadcast, especially not to someone like the UG who could only use the information as a bargaining chip with others.

“Everything for humanity in the dungeon has to do with us, Ken.” The president of the UG said my name as if it was a curse on his lips. “You don’t get to enjoy all of the benefits that the UG brings and not contribute. The safety within the dungeon is something we all must work towards.”

The last one made me laugh. “Right, well I guess I never enjoyed that anyway. I’ve had more than my fair share of encounters within the dungeon.”

The president let out a long, labored breath. “And you would have had so many more if the UG did not control it as we did. Now listen, it is your turn to pay back and do so with information and exercises that we consider beneficial for humanity. And I won’t even force these on you. You are being asked to do them. Such as right now.”

I glanced at Crimson, who only shrugged.

“Up to you. Though personally, I don’t think there’s any information there that Scaredy Cat needs to know.” She munched on more chips as if this was just a show to her.

“Well, I’m going to trust Crimson then,” I said, turning back to the president of the UG. “As of right now, the deal I’ve made with the demons is between me and them. Of course, the relationship I’ve built, I’m happy to utilize if the president of the UG needs it at a future date. Though you must understand, everything in the demonic world comes at a cost. So it won’t be free of me to help you.”

The president of the UG let out a heavy breath, staring me down. “Get out. Both of you.”

Crimson chuckled. “Well, I guess you have enough Threadspawns to figure things out. When the scientists are done, do let me know and I’ll help with getting them cured.” She added.

Only for the president of the UG to more sternly growl “Out.”

Crimson got to her feet in no hurry, pausing to snag a couple more bags of potato chips on her way.

I was feeling a little plucky myself, and snagged a bag to walk out munching on chips beside her. “Well, that was fun,” I said in such a way it was clear it was not.

“Eh, he’s an old windbag. He’s gonna sit there, berate you, verbally give you the once-over. But what’s he actually going to do?” Crimson said, gesturing with the potato chip.

“Nothing,” I answered for both of us.

“Exactly.” Crimson gave me a look. “The trick is; you let him bluster, you sit there with a smile and stick to your decisions. Well done, Ken.” This time she leaned over and gave me a salty kiss. “Though you could be a little less antagonistic.” She pinched her fingers together, and it was my turn to roll my eyes at her.

“You are one to talk. I thought your name was Mistress Antagonize-everyone Crimson.” I rolled my eyes. But she was right, the UG couldn’t do much of anything besides ask me to come in and tell me I was naughty. Eventually they’d come to me again and ask for something. I suppose I could make them sweat when they needed something or make a decision if it was the right move for me.

“No, that’s not what it says on my license.” Said license appeared in her hands as she turned it back and forth before throwing it back into her CID and returning to her chips.

“Tell me, Crimson, on a scale of one to ten, how upset are you about me bringing Lady Frey into the mix?”

“Absolutely catastrophically pissed, 11” she said, without an ounce of anger in her tone. “And then also humbled by how tough those threads were, and secretly grateful you brought her, so also a 3. However, never do it again because when there’s two numbers I get to choose which one to react to.” She wagged a finger at me.

I chuckled. “Talk about mixed signals.” Though, Crimson was a wildcard at the best of times.

“Anyway.” Crimson waved a hand, thoroughly and clearly dismissing that subject. “Now that you’ve undone the dirty with demons, are you going to get back to your PR tour?”

I groaned. “Absolutely. However, if class is back in session…” I looked to her hopefully, “then I hope to be getting back to class. Nothing feels quite so useless as going to these sessions every day, knowing the others are getting further ahead of me.”

Crimson gave me a long look. “Yeah… no one’s getting ahead of you. At least not in the short term. So I don’t think you need to worry about that. Instead, I’m more concerned with this whole demon situation. That they want you to level up fast and become the King of Incubi? That sounds like throwing yourself a little deeper in than I expected.” Crimson said, ripping open a portal and dumping us both back into Star City.

“Yeah, well agreeing to help with that was the best leverage I had. And that tells you how little leverage I had in the first place.” I shook my head, she’d gotten a better understanding of it all before the meeting with the UG. There was no hiding things from Crimson, nor did I want to.

Crimson nodded. “Frey was ninety-two. I wonder what level that pink pipsqueak was.” Crimson, of course, referred to the succubus princess. Who was likely well above level 100 if I had to guess. And I shuddered to think what would happen if said pipsqueak heard that description.

“If I may be so bold, Crimson, please don’t antagonize them too. It’s clear Lady Frey could crumple me up like an empty soda can if she so wished.” I said. In fact, I’d been surprised at the Lady’s powerset. She’d manipulated gravity in multiple ways that put her somewhere between a support class or a ranged caster.

Crimson nodded, plopping down on the couch and stretching out, her bag of chips never far away. “I think she’d do far worse than turn you into a tin can. She’d probably make you bark like a dog.” Crimson bit her lip to hold back a laugh.

“Dog?” Felin burst out of the everpresent pile of clothes on the couch, startling both of us. She tilted her head curiously. “Crimson doesn’t normally talk about dogs. Bitches, yes. Dogs, no. So I assume it’s a male dog. Ken, why don’t you bark for her?”

Crimson held the chip out as if it was a treat I should beg for, and I slapped it out of her hands. In the process earning an utterly aghast expression that I would waste a potato chip like that.

“Don’t mind her, Felin. She’s just talking about the demon contract.” I said.

“Well, if they make you bark instead of talk, I’d prefer if you didn’t bark. Barking kind of bothers my ears.” She scratched at her head before stretching out with a great, big yawn and simultaneously sliding into my lap with a cheeky grin. “So Crimson, are you back-back, or are you just back to harass Ken and then disappear again?”

I found myself running my fingers through Felin’s long white hair.

“I would never,” Crimson started to deny it before chuckling. “Oh, that does sound fun. But I did just sort of flip off Scarredy Cat. It would be best if I followed through and didn’t do anything for him for a little while.”

“Because you don’t want to come off as hot air?” I asked, only to get a smile from Crimson.

“It’s bad for my reputation if I roll over for anyone.” She winked. “Except you.”

“Uh-huh. Because you’re so concerned about your reputation.” I narrowed my eyes. “You’re not going to sneak onto my PR campaign, are you?”

Crimson shook her head back and forth rapidly. “Not a chance. I’ve got a number of people all threatening to skin my hide if I do. And the worst thing is the headmistress made me promise in front of Grandma Sakura.” Crimson groaned. “I think she’s found my weakness.” She shoved an entire fistful of chips into her mouth at once.

I highly doubted Crimson had such an easy weakness, but if she was going to pretend to be a good daughter-in-law for my grandparents, I put that in my backpocket if I ever needed to keep her in line.

“Then training?” I asked and found a comb shoved into my hand by Felin and began using that rather than my fingers.

“Tonight. We’ll train you until you drop. You know, so you can catch up with the rest of the class,” she said.

Though I thought there was a touch more sarcasm than deserved. I did need to catch up with how much time I was spending on the PR campaign.

“You’re supposed to be done with New York,” she continued, “according to Bellaire, and have two days of travel.” She air-quoted. “I already hooked Bellaire up with a portal for you. So the next two days, we can just throw you and your group headfirst into the dungeon.”

I was nodding along happily, agreeing to that scenario. I wanted to be back in the dungeon and to spend less time on tour.

“And it gives you a little time to avoid the UG and the press in general. No one’s associated you with what happened in New York, but I hate to tell you, Ken, some of those people were important. And people know they are missing now.” She air-quoted as she said those words.

“They were important or weren’t?” I frowned at her.

“They were important.” She said it sternly, while air-quoting again.

“Crimson, those are very mixed signals.” I said, only for Felin to restart my brushing that had apparently stopped.

“Keep brushing. Those people aren’t more important than my brushing.” Felin snuggled into my lap. “I think she’s saying other people think they’re irrelevant, but she has to say they are important.”

“I know, but thank you,” I said to the Nekorian for her interpretation. “If you’re off duty, Crimson, then are you going to come down with us, or what are you going to do?”

She paused the chip halfway to her mouth and said something while mumbling and noisily crunching away on a chip.

“What was that?” I asked, as she grabbed another handful and shoved it in her mouth while she answered. I stared at her way of avoiding the question. “Crimson,” I said with the tone of a stern parent.

Only then did she swallow around the chips. “Now I’m going as deep as I can and letting loose with [Limit Break].” Crimson threw her hands up in the air, nearly spilling the chips. “Are you kidding me? After seeing Lady Frey, I am all fired up to go ten times the speed I was.”

“Diving the dungeon solo is dangerous, Crimson,” I said.

Only for the woman to pause mid-chip and stare back at me as if asking if I was serious.

“Yes, Crimson, it’s dangerous.” I tried to cross my arms to give my words more oompf, but Felin caught me and dragged the brush back to her hair.

“Har har. Coming from you, that doesn’t mean much.” Crimson countered with a smirk on her lips.

“Yes, but I go with the party. They have my back this entire time. If I slip up, Charlotte’s there to heal me or even resurrect me. Meanwhile Penny’s there to keep my face from getting smashed in. And even Des has her uses.” I tried to include them all.

Felin peeked lazily up from my lap, as if daring me to stop brushing her.

“I’m going to tell her you said that,” Crimson smirked.

“Don’t you dare,” I snapped back. Des would use that as an excuse to leave me desiccated in bed as a ‘punishment’. 

Only for the red-leather-clad woman to cackle mischievously and she’d probably use that against me. Heck, she might even join Des in trying to wear me out.

I grabbed her ankles. “Well, if you’re going to be like that, then don’t blame me for being ruthless.” I stripped off her shoes and began tickling her feet.

Crimson squawked and threw her bag of potato chips into the air, spraying them everywhere as she succumbed to my tickles in a fit of giggles.

Meanwhile, Felin watched with wide eyes. “Ken can defeat Crimson?” she gasped.

“Only if he cheats,” Crimson said through giggles before she twisted in an impossible angle and flipped off the couch to escape my grasp.

“She secretly likes it,” I told Felin. “Do you see how easily she escaped? Once she finally wanted to.”

Crimson huffed, pulling her long braid back behind her head. She stared at all the fallen chips, shrugged, and opened another bag.

“You need to clean that up. Do you want ants? Because this is how you get ants,” I said. 

“Nuh-uh, you’re the one who made me spill,” Crimson said. “Besides, if we leave it, I’m sure Ambrosia will pick it up.”

I stared at Crimson for a long moment before sighing, knowing I wasn’t going to win this one.

“Well, since you’re so amped, and I am too, let’s get to this training, Crimson.” If I knew one way to get Crimson to stop fooling around, it was to say training.

Her eyes perked up, and before she could open that second bag of chips, she moved in a blur, grabbed me, and ripped open a portal to the gravity training chambers. Then she threw me through.

“Hey he was brushing me!” Felin cried out.

I fell, landing hard, and waved as the portal closed. Crimson began stretching out, tapping her CID against the computer.

“Really?” I asked with a frown.

“You asked for it,” Crimson said without turning to look at me. “Besides, if we kept flirting on the couch the only other option was me dragging you off to the bedroom.” She turned with a raised eyebrow, clearly offering that alternative.

And I think, much to her disappointment, I didn’t take it. Instead, I kipped to my feet and began stretching out myself. “Sparring?” I asked.

She shook her head. “No. I need to get some energy out; otherwise I’m just gonna kick your teeth in when we spar. Instead, you’re going to do resistance training with me.” She finished what she was doing at the tablet and hit enter, just as gravity drove me to a knee. Meanwhile, Crimson looked refreshed.

“Time to get cranking, Ken. If you’re going to play in the big leagues with someone like Frey, you should at least be able to handle this.”

I grit my teeth and pushed off the floor, barely managing to get a few inches up.

“Crimson,” I growled.

“That’s it, Ken,” she said, eyes alight with passion. “Get angry. Use that anger.”

Crimson was already squaring her legs apart, beginning to do squats under whatever-the-fuck-times gravity this was.

Rather than fight with her, however, I breathed deep and drew on what strength I could to force myself into my first push-up, trying very hard not to flop onto my face on the way down.

“One!” Crimson shouted with glee. “Now only nine hundred ninety-nine more to go. Well… for the first round.” Crimson laughed maniacally.

This was going to be hard and the truth was that I fucking loved it.

AN - Deep Breath I can use em dashes, couldn't find a way around it at the beginning of this chapter. I'm so adverse to them with that being a big AI 'tell' lately.