Cork Board Congregational Church: The Osteen House of Usury, Houston False Flag, Prosperity Gospel, False Prophets, & William Branham (Sermon #1)

This is prob simultaneously one of the most deranged, idiotic,... and inspired things that I've produced in this last year of podcasting. Speaking of which, PPM just turned 1 years old: pls make sure to rate & review it on Spotify in celebration & get the word out as yr able! We sure do appreciate it.

In which yr faithful ParaPower Mapper assumes an inverted Baby Billy Freeman persona, donning an anti-Prosperity Gospel & anti-Z****st preacher mask, in order to deliver a lengthy sermon decrying the exploitive televangelist ministry of the Osteen dynasty & an alternative history of the Osteen House of Usury known as Lakewood Church, culminating in an examination of the sus interlocks, inconsistencies, and myriad connections that shed a diabolical light on the highly publicized "shooting" that took place at said repurposed Houston Rockets arena some weeks ago. 

We call upon the Holy Spirit to guide us as we humbly seek to speak in sus-olalia (not glossolalia), setting the possible contours of this false flag conspiracy to shitcoat the popular pro-Palestinian movement in the States as antisemitic & Hamas-affiliated alight w/ sus tongues of Holy Fire. 

We begin w/ a covenant in which we reaffirm our anti-Prosperity Gospel & anti-Z****st principles. From there, we conduct a one part basic retelling of the events leading up to the attack at Lakewood & a one part imaginative exercise, trying to envision what the scene might have been like. We assemble some of the essential pertinent details & figures involved in the purportedly thwarted, Ham*s-inspired mass shooting: Genesse Moreno, her son Samuel (who was tragically struck w/ a bullet, likely fired by one of the off-duty law enforcement officers that were working security), and the rest. We introduce Joel Osteen and his father John, who founded Lakewood Church in an abandoned feed store in Houston some 60 years ago, laying out the sequence of John Osteen's conversion story, how he came to be called to the ministry, and his eventual swapping of camps from Baptist to the nascent, Pentecostal-influenced Charismatic Movement... A decision that was likely equally inspired by his greed & desire for material benefits & his claims that his daughter Lisa (Lisa the Blob), who was supposedly born practically boneless, had been restored to health thru the miracles of faith healing. We delve into the history of Pentecostalism & New Though manifestation concepts that merged to form the modern Prosperity Gospel, which brings us to the Azusa St. Revival in California, William J. Seymour, & Charles Parham. We parse the influence of Transcendentalism, theosophy, Mesmerism, & even Freemasonry on the origins of Pentecostalism. We talk about the nuanced racial dynamics and the fact that Pentecostalism wasn't confined along racial or class lines. We power through this history of revivalism in the early 20th century to reach our first major, sus interlock: the fact that one of John Osteen's primary spiritual mentors and backers was none other than William Branham of The Message & the Latter Rain movement. We're talking the serpent seed & annihilationist faith healer & self-styled prophet anointed by Elijah who was baptized & ordained by Roy Davis, who would go on to become the Imperial Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan. We talk about how William Branham, the preeminent fraudster & snake oil salesman, was deeply involved w/ Demos Shakarian (a direct relative of the Kardashian clan) and his Full Gospel Businessmen's Fellowship Int'l, the Pentecostalist society for lay person businessmen that seeks to organize powerful capitalists for the purpose of furthering the Gospel (& is likely a Trojan horse & financial funnel enabling the capitalist class to exert influence over televangelists & faith leaders' messaging and the like). We illustrate how John Osteen, Joel Osteen's father, was a part of this incredibly shady nexus of evangelical con men connected to the FGBMFI that included Shakarian, Branham, Copeland, Oral Roberts (another associate of Joel's father & the founder of the University at which Joel would matriculate before taking over the Lakewood Ministry), & many other Prosperity Gospel preachers of note. And to truly drive home just how sus William Branham's influence on the Osteen dynasty is, we illustrate how both Jim Jones & his People's Temple & Paul Schafer & his Nazi pedo colony in Chile (Colonia Dignidad) branch off of the same Branhamite & Shakarian tree as John Osteen. We also give some examples of Branham's segregationist beliefs & weird, serpent seed-inflected racial doctrine. 

And then, in the last third of "Cork Board Congregational Church" (Sermon #1), we take a deeper dive into the Lakewood false flag shooter Genesse Moreno's remarkably sus background and the blatant inconsistencies in the official narrative regarding her motivations & its cobbled-together quality. We reveal that Genesse Moreno repeatedly telegraphed her plans to carry out an attack in Texas that would act as revenge against her Latina Rabbi Mother-in-Law in Texas (whom she would speak about as if she were controlling her & driving Genesse insane). We present the plain-to-see incoherence of her choice of Lakewood Church as a target, as it is in fact Moreno's biological mother (according to official reports) who is a parishioner at the church. Which brings us to a skeleton key Q for our parsing of this murky deep event: if, as all of Genesse's "antisemitic" Twitter screeds & videos seem to intimate, her motivation to attack Lakewood was to take revenge against her Mother-in-Law Carranza (who attempted to rob Genesse of her son & place him under a conservatorship), why did she target Osteen's congregation which is seemingly unconnected to the Rabbi Carranza living in Colorado? We analyze how this purportedly "thwarted" attack is carrying a ton of water for the Z****st hasbara artistes & propagandists, as it serves as "evidence" (we would argue contrived) supporting Israel's arguments that Americans must support the ethnostate in their genocide & their contention that Israel is the bulwark of the Western World against the terrorists who seek to bring "Death to America"... All propaganda stratagems that we reject, whole-heartedly. But brothers, sisters, & nonbinary siblings, the sad truth is that Moreno was a godsend for the Z***ists & their Christian counterparts: through her very person, behaviors, & writings, she (or her programmers) have tethered together pro-Palestinian sentiment, Ham*s sympathizing, antisemitism, & terrorism in one fell swoop. She is the perfect vehicle for Israeli genocidal justification, and the fact that she carried out her attack at the self-branded "most popular" & best attended church in the United States is no coincidence. Although you might think that it was a near-miss of little significance, I'd contend that the very fact it occurred in the first place at such a media savvy ministry, one that snakes its elastic feel-good brainwashing arms into millions of television sets across this country on a weekly basis, indicates that this incident has conveniently convinced hundreds of thousands or millions of American Christians that they are at risk of being targeted by the "antisemitic enemies" of Israel. Nor is the fact that the Jerusalem Post ran a story claiming there was a "pro-Palestinian" sticker on her AR's bump stock or what-have-you a mere hour or two after the attack occurred mere coincidence. 

I'm running outta space to cram further notes in here, but also be cognizant of the fact that Genesse's ex-husband is imprisoned in FL for failing to register as a sex offender (he was prev arrested for raping a minor) and that Moreno's dreaded MIL has claimed in court filings & complaints to CPS that Rabbi Carranza's son, Genesse Moreno's ex, was the repeated victim of CSA during his childhood. Couple this with her allegations that Genesse has been diagnosed w/ dissociation, schizophrenia, & PTSD and her repeated attempts to strip Genesse of custody of her child, and it's not hard to imagine how these various traumas & realities may have served as leverage over Genesse and/or triggers of her violent lashing out. Whether or not this means that it was a controlled, SoA op... another discrete attack in a Domestic Gladio-esque slow build towards justifying a brutal crackdown against the pro-Palestinian movement in the United States, Communists, and the wider ideological "left"... or whether it was a tragic farce simply caused by the confluence of a number of factors... will be up for you & the Holy Spirit of Paranoiacost to decide. 

Oh shit, almost forgot: prior to concluding this first part of this first Cork Board Congregational church sermon, we unveil 2 more compelling details that lend weight to the notion that this "attack" was a false flag op: firstly, we provide evidence of Joel Osteen's friendship w/ Israeli PM Bib* Netan*yahu, splicing in clips of his interview w/ the iron-fisted Likud head and directing your attention to the fact that Osteen has previously met w/ Beebee & Shimo_n Peres in Israeli while on tour in the 2010s... And we foreshadow an equally sus attack that occurred at Lakewood Church nearly 35 years before this one, a little-known mail bombing that wounded Joel Osteen's sister Lisa (the Blob) back when Pappy John Osteen was still running the church. We hint at how this still-unsolved & inexplicable violent outburst may be related to a string of bombings that terrorized the Southeastern United States in 1989, and by extension, another clue that may aid us in deciphering this inscrutable moment where the parapolitical broke the tranquil quietude of Lakewood Church and Casino in between services. We'll return to the mail bombing (and the possibly related serial bombings by Walter Leroy Moody, who maintained his innocence & that he'd been framed by the F*B*I until the bitter end), not to mention Joel Osteen's Christian Zionism, in CBCC Sermon #2. Go in revolutionary fervor.  

Songs: 

| "Jesus Paid It All" organ instrumental | 

| Dr. Shantram Hawkins - "Because He Lives" Organ Solo | 

| Loretta Lynn - "Just A Little Talk With Jesus" | 

| TACTlacker feat. Dog Vorbis - "Pretty Thump" (Thank you PPM patron Neener for yr generous gift & loaning us yr track) | 

| Demajor77 - "What Can Wash My Sins Away, Nothing But the Blood of Jesus" Organ Solo | 

| Cory Henry - "The Revivalist Project" | 

| Sounds for the Supermarket - "5" (1975) | 

| Dolly Parton - "I'll Keep Climbing" |