EV B2 Chapter 47:

We ate in relative silence. Alana—her noble heritage showed through even as she daintily ate the chicken with her fingers. But Astrid and I scarfed it down like normal people. She ate quickly, but I could tell there was no real enjoyment in it. Her appetite clearly hadn't come back.

While we ate, there wasn't a whole lot to say. It wasn't the right time and... well. Hopefully, a small break would let Astrid gather her thoughts and start to feel more normal. And I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I started eating. It had been nonstop for me recently, and it had been a lot of energy spent. Still, I felt like I was trying to figure out what to say.

As it happened, I wasn't the one who spoke first. Astrid shifted a few times and eventually ended up sitting on her ankles, with her knees tucked up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them. It should have been an awkward-looking pose, but one that she managed to make it seem significantly less so.

"I guess you should probably know what happened to me."

I paused mid-bite and swallowed. "It would be good to know, but you don't need to tell us more than you want to."

Alana spoke up. "I can leave if you don't want to tell me," she said in a small voice. "I understand. We don't really know each other. And if you're not comfortable..."

She trailed off when Astrid raised her head and shot her a look. It wasn't quite a glare, but it was definitely not friendly.

"No," she said, her face relaxing into something that passed for a conciliatory smile. "Miles trusts you? That's enough for me. And, well, it's more embarrassing than anything. I feel foolish for not thinking things through for myself."

Astrid glanced down at her hands, where they intertwined between her knees, and used her thumb to pick at her nail for a second while the two of us waited.

"I wasn't immediately offered a blessing, but a task to prove that I was worthy."

She looked up at me as if waiting for some sort of response.

"Loki mentioned that... it was his sister?" I said in a questioning tone. But then I paused. "Wait, but I think he contradicted himself later and said it wasn't."

"Well, maybe," Astrid said. "It wasn't Loki. He only made the introduction. He dropped me off at a random hole in the wall and just said, 'Here. The one we had discussed. Have fun,'" she said in a faux jaunty tone with a mocking wave. "Her name was Sigyn."

Alana's head tilted. "Loki's wife?"

I felt my gut tighten. That was not his sister, nor was it really the relative that he was somewhat thinking of. It wasn't the first time I had caught an inconsistency with Loki, but this one felt different—almost as if he was baiting me to call him out on it.

Astrid didn't seem to notice my reaction. Or maybe she just didn't care. She wasn't what I expected of a god or Loki's friend. She was quiet and gentle.

I rubbed my eyes. I had never heard of Loki having a wife, and I had no knowledge of Norse mythology back on Earth, but that wasn't what I would expect from him either.

Astrid nodded. "Yeah. She isn't a trickster. She's the embodiment of loyalty and devotion. You'd think that would be something comforting."

She let out a deep sigh that sounded pained.

"She doesn't speak much, and when she does, it's like she already knows how you're going to react and never leaves any space for questions."

Astrid shifted again and looked me in the eye.

"She said she'd give me a blessing. But first, I had a task to complete—and I had to prove myself."

She looked down for a second.

"She said that I had to understand what loyalty really means."

Then her eyes flicked back up and met mine with an urgency that I felt needed a reaction from me, and she whispered the last line:

"What it costs."

I reached out and squeezed Astrid's shoulder. She leaned against my hand slightly, and so I patted her back before retracting my hand.

"It's not at all what I thought. She looked so soft and kind. But... when you hear her talk? Well, there is absolutely no compromise in that woman."

Astrid actually let out a small chuckle.

"She didn't even ask me to do anything. She just showed me what needed to be done, and I did it. She had me help with something—refining a magical reagent. I thought it was for helping warriors get through difficult bottlenecks or mentally strengthen them or something."

Alana fell silent, looking down, and I saw a flicker of magic run through her hands as if she were doing a familiar pattern.

"It was several days—maybe a week or so—where I worked on doing this refining. I wasn't sure how this would prove loyalty or anything. Still, it was easy, and I was actually getting significantly better at magic from just the practice."

She let out a deep sigh, her eyes flicking over to Alana and then me.

"Well. That was when they came for me."

"The people who captured you?" I asked.

Astrid nodded.

I frowned. I thought that it would be some other god or something interfering with Loki's plans—not just people.

"Yeah, that's what I thought at first too. Thought they were just people. But... well, apparently, they owed Loki something and would use me to get it. Or something. I wasn't sure. They didn't really tell me what they wanted with what they were doing, but they thought I had the recipe for something. Thought it was important."

She paused.

"And, well, it wasn't until they started getting desperate. Then they started talking about the Cult of the World Eater—being someone they had to appease and... well. I'm skipping ahead a little bit. It was after that first round of questioning that the blessing came. Not some ritual or trial or when the goddess saved me, but when I was sure I would break. And I still said no when I thought they were going to kill me. And I said no."

"To be fair, I probably could have told them I didn't know, but they didn't believe me about that. I could have made something up. I could have probably told them about you or Loki or done something, but I just said no."

"At that moment, she whispered something to me. I don't know what it was, but it seeped into my skin and nestled somewhere in my brain. And a part of it opened up—something that had always been there. A part of me just waiting to be discovered. Just snapped into place."

Everyone fell silent for a moment before I eventually spoke up.

"What does it do?"

Astrid looked up, her eyes distant.

"I can catch pain. Bind it to myself. It's not perfect healing, but it lets me bleed for them. If someone's about to die, I can take it instead. I won't die, but it stays with me even if I give it back to them. I still feel it. Even if they heal it. I still feel it. Not the same as if I had been the one wounded, but..."

She paused and rubbed at her temples.

"I've had dreams. In the moment that I got the vision—flashes, this power... well, I don't know if they were her experiences or my dreams, but... well. I didn't think it would be this bad."

"My blessing was nothing like that."

I looked over at Alana, who also shook her head in agreement.

"It was simple. Just a gift. Loki gave it for something nebulous in return. Not a good deal by any means, but not—" I waved my hand. "Not this."

"I didn't think it would be like this either, but I can't say I regret it. The pain is bearable and does fade, though the memories never do. I have a few more abilities from the blessing. It does seem more powerful than what you've described. But... but it costs."

"There's one more thing, though. If I see someone about to break—whatever spell or weight that's about to crush them—I can catch it. Except I have to bear that instead. I have to bear it and not break because that's the blessing."

She said it with a bitter smile and silent tears on her cheeks.

"You endure. Quietly. Because that's what Sigyn does. And that's what I do now."

I let my hands fall into my lap and flicked my palm a few times in thought.

Loki was... um... a bit of a bastard. If this was his wife's power—the ability to suffer and endure—it, well, didn't speak well of him. Which... I wasn't sure what to think of him anymore. But the way Astrid was looking... well, she seemed like she was ready to suffer.

"I never should have brought you to see Loki," I said.