Health update

I’ve also posted this on Grommr, but I figured it would be good to update you all on this as well, in a bit more detail. For both paid and unpaid members.

A little over 3 months ago, I had a bit of a health scare. I was in the hospital for 5 days because I had (and still have) an inflammation to my heart muscle and pericardium. At that point I had lost about 10kg in a very short period of time because I couldn’t eat properly. This sucks, because I’ve been working so hard to finally break the plateau I’ve been stuck at. This all also made me feel really self conscious of my body, feeling ugly because I didn’t feel big enough.

And for me the worst part was, I felt like a failure because I wasn’t able to show of growth for you all. Because I have this platform on here, where people actually support my gains by paying for a subscription, I also have a duty to create and post content, which is just hard at times like these. Because of this I did my best to start growing again, I actually regained the 10 kg in the 2 following months. Not being able to work and sitting at home, eating, did wonders for the gains, but since it was just regains it wasn’t really that noticeable.

When I finally started to feel a bit better, the next health thing came up and what started as something that felt like a stomach flu, it seems like there is more going on. I have a feeling it’s an inflammation to my stomach, possibly caused by the medication I use for my heart. It still needs to be officially diagnosed, but I feel like it can’t be anything else than this.

So while I’m still recovering from my heart, there is now something else to recover from and that’s why I felt like an actual update would be a good idea. I hope this also just gives some clarity on why I haven’t been as active as I’d like to be, or even gaining as much as I’d like to, but I’m still doing my best, both to grow and to post.

In the meantime I lost paying Patrons, got new ones, lost some more, which also made me feel like I wasn’t doing things right. But for those who are still subscribed, thank you so much, it means the world to me.

Just wanted to have this out there, if you read all of this, thank you so much. X