Naked Chef Charla serves you a Love Sandwich

How to make a Love Sandwich: Take a slice of bread, um smell the earthy goodness! For the first layer of bread--VALIDATE your partner, such as, “Oh, it feels so good to be with you on the couch right now.” Next comes the middle layer, or gooey jam (yum!). Here's where you make a REQUEST for something you want, like, “And, I’d love for you to lightly touch my shoulders and back of neck with your fingertips for a couple of minutes.” Request one thing, be clear, short and sweet.

For the last layer of the sandwich, add the bread on top--VALIDATE your partner again. “Wow, thanks, that was great!” Or, if it wasn't, you need to help them find the touch you wanted--it’s your job, not your partner’s. You're gonna learn a lot about each other!  

Presto, you have a Love Sandwich: bread—validate, jam—one small, doable request, and bread—validate again. You’re training a partner into a string of yeses by offering short (2 min), tasty touch morsels. Once integrity is established on non-sexual requests, move on to juicier requests—but establish TRUST first by: a) doing only what’s asked, b) keep to the time, c) be gracious in fine tuning touch. This works if you just met someone, or been together forever. A Patreon recently asked me how to deal with shyness—how to make something happen?The Love Sandwich is one idea, and another is to give your self permission to FLIRT.  That’s next month’s lesson—FLIRTING, how to do it!

Sex in the News: Sex Workers around the world advocate for their rights...

Africa: The South African Sex Worker Alliance has ask legislators to collaborate with them to draft a new bill on sex worker rights. They have also been active in collecting stories from sex workers affected by the U.S. foreign aid freeze. Vital programs have disappeared that once provided HIV treatment, shelter from violence, STI testing, and access to contraceptives .

Thailand:  Thai sex workers, taking matters into their own hands, are petitioning the government to change the anti-prostitution laws into new laws supporting the rights of sex workers. They are collecting 10,000 signatures to bring it to a vote, educating Thai people along the way on how decriminalizing sex work ensures everyone’s safety.

USA: Both New York and Rhode Island just passed critical immunity bills that provide protection for survivors of trafficking and sex workers who witness or experience crimes. These laws enable survivors and sex workers to seek help, report abuse, and access medical care without fear of prosecution—removing barriers that have always silenced them. 

World Court: A global network of sex workers organized a delegation to attend the United Nations Human Rights Council (HRC) to strengthen international efforts towards the recognition of sex work as work. The HRC, a key battleground for sex worker rights, fully supports the decriminalization of sex work .

Online: Sex workers’ content gets hidden and canceled on online platforms like Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp. This exclusion threatens livelihoods, isolates already marginalized communities, and it fundamentally undermines the right to be seen, to speak freely, and to organize for safety and dignity. Even educational, political and advocacy posts are frequently flagged and taken down. Words like “sex work,” “OnlyFans,” or “escort” are automatically flagged (boo to Meta). Do you like my Thai tattoo in solidarity with their work?

Here’s a new book, From Red Lights to Legal Rights, the story of decriminalizing sex work in New Zealand.

My Dear Patreons, I’m in the throes of rewriting a second play and love the creative process, especially when it’s about spreading the joys and surprises of sex work. I've been invited to present with The Happy Hooker (1970), Xaviera Holland, who wrote the pivotal book celebrating our profession. We'll entertain you in her home town, Amsterdam, in October!

I hope you enjoyed the global news above. Remember legalizing same sex marriage? It all happened so quickly, and no, we are NOT going backwards.  Stick with me, I’ll stick with you, and we will win!

Mucho love, Chef Charla