A K-pop Idol 62.3

Alex decided to talk about his feminization trying to express his feelings about his dream of being a famous musician, and the crazy way in which he had achieved this, as a K-Pop Idol. This really was something very conflicting for him, so he thought it might convince Dr. Wong. 

"Well, sir" he started. “This has always been my dream since I was a child, and it was often painful to live what I considered to be a lie. I was sure that I would be much happier when I could make my dream a reality.”

"I see" Dr. Wong said, taking some notes on a small notepad. “Yes, it is very common that conflicts regarding gender identity manifest at a young age in individuals with some degree of transsexualism. Do you remember exactly how it started? Is there any special event that has been etched in your memory?”

At this point, Alex was forced to improvise. He was talking about his relationship to music, but Dr.Wong was obviously thinking he was talking about his desire to be a girl. 

Alex had been sure that he wanted to be a musician since when he had listened to his father's old rock vinyl LPs, when he was still very young, so he decided to use that same story – and all the feelings tied to it – in a slightly modified version.

"Hmm... It started when I was still a little boy, I mean... I think that deeply I was already a little girl, although I still didn’t know the difference…” oh, how he hated being forced to say it. “Anyway, one day I saw my mother's wonderful wardrobe, with all those beautiful, soft and colorful clothes, and I realized that I wanted to wear that type of clothing – more than that… I wanted to be a woman when I grew up… a cute and delicate woman, and not a man. This was just what I needed most in my life” Alex added, blushing Intensely. He felt like the biggest sissy ever. 

"That's okay, Kim Hana" Dr. Wong said, noticing the discomfort of the feminized man. “It's perfectly  fine to talk about your feelings to me. I’m here to help you, remember?”

"Yes, sir."

"Very good. Now, tell me, at this time, have you talked about this desire, or rather, need, to your parents or someone else?”

"No" Alex said with his eyes down. “I was afraid and ashamed… I didn’t know what they might think.”

Upon hearing this, Dr. Wong took notes for a considerable time. Alex wondered what he would be writing in that notebook. 

“But you certainly couldn’t ignore that need, right?” Dr. Wong asked. “How have you dealt with it?”

"Hmm... I... J-just" Alex stammered, thinking furiously about what to say next. “I used to try my mom's clothes when no one else was home. This... This was good for me during that time.” 

Once again, Alex felt humiliated for saying something like that. He had never tried his mother's clothes, and that idea had never even crossed his mind. That plan wasn’t working exactly as he had imagined…

"I see. And since that time did you also have the urge to look like a Korean girl?”

Oh, that was a question that Alex had no idea how to answer…