Hot Dog Year in Review: The Very Best Learning Days of 2021 🌭
Added 2021-12-27 13:00:06 +0000 UTC
It’s time for our Great Annual Hot Dog Performance Review, where we look back on the year’s articles and try to gauge exactly how much we ruled this year. We scratched out the ‘weaknesses’ section on our evaluation sheet, and instead drew a picture of a lion with a mullet. Everything here kicks at least ass. At least. There was so much fine comedy in 2021 it’ll take us two weeks to get through it all. And remember, everything here has been made free! If you are trying to recruit folks into this little Hot Dog Cult, here are your weapons.
First up, it’s Learning Day! We learned so much this year: We learned of heroes and villains, the tragic sacrifices of children and the tragic sacrifices of garage sales. We learned of the devil! We learned a lot about the devil!
Saskatchewan Wheat Pool Adventurer's Club
"Kids, do you like trading cards? Oh, they're fine? Well, what about pogs? What are po-- well, I guess they're little paper coins for knocking over! Okay, how do you feel about Canadian farming superheroes? Wait, let me finish: Based on the crops themselves? Well, there's no need for that kind of language. No, fuck YOU! Maybe you're the pervert!"
- The most successful Saskatchewan Wheat Pool Adventurer's Club focus group
From Danny Bonaduce('s sister), Beezbo is about an alien with impossible powers and no capacity for reason who refuses to learn several lessons on manners over the course of a supernatural rampage. "Educational," says the box. "We have no memory of this," says everyone involved.
The Novelization of Mary Kate & Ashley Olsen's Navy Propaganda Film
With the full cooperation of the United States armed services, two unlicensed identical child detectives and their less qualified brother, Trent, are given full access to a weapon system that could destroy a small country. Their sister is there also! "I wish she wasn't," sing Mary Kate & Ashley.
How to Have a Moneymaking GARAGE SALE Starring Phyllis Diller
Setting up a yard sale can be as stressful as getting Phyllis Diller's husband, Fang, to help with the dishes, honk! But with this tape, your garage sale will run tighter than Phyllis Diller's last eye lift, voowooop! In no time at all you'll turn a better profit than Phyllis Diller's plastic surgeon, arrooga! Follow these instructions to turn old into gold like Phyllis Diller's plastic surgeon, eewooweeeooo!
Lost Without a Compass: Neo-Paganism
Yoga and Captain Planet. Autonomy and board games. It's up to us, Christian soldiers, to stop them all. Oh, an explanation? Well, yoga is training you for death and Captain Planet is training the children in Paganism. Choice demands a sacrifice of your babies, and board games have sharp cor-- look, do you really want to hear all this or are you ready to write God a check?
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If these images are borked, you can read this article and every other one on the much better in every way 1900HOTDOG.COM.
Comments
Even as just this last couple of months I've heard insane shit like "Those concert deaths were the result of ritual Armenian witchcraft." I still have the capacity to enjoy Satanic Panic Classic. I can still laugh, the world isn't dead quite yet.
Flippant Sausage
2021-12-28 10:25:50 +0000 UTCIt’s been a fantastic year. I have issues with sincerity because 1. I fear my vulnerability will be my downfall and 2. “Snarky” is the default mode instilled by the British school system. But do not doubt my sincerity when I say that I do not regret being a Hotdogger… not for one second. Now fuck off… I’m not crying, you’re crying… leave it will you… YOU’RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD, PANTS CHAPLEY! Wait… what was I saying?
Christopher Horne
2021-12-27 16:06:09 +0000 UTCI personally think the Phyllis Diller one is the best entry point for new Hotdoggers, because it is insane without being TOO insane. We don't want to break their minds before they make their Patreon pledge and forget their financial information!
Jeff Orasky
2021-12-27 15:50:30 +0000 UTCBeezbo does have kind of a come-hither look to him(?), sprawled across that doodled name on top. Danny may be trying to seduce us all.
Jeff Orasky
2021-12-27 15:48:17 +0000 UTCAs long as Beezbo remains clothed, not pregnant and away from me it can be based on whatever it wants.
LyraV
2021-12-27 15:08:18 +0000 UTCI remain convinced Beezbo is based on Danny.
Brendan McGinley
2021-12-27 14:12:31 +0000 UTCOh man, my brain somehow forgot some of these articles existed! I can't tell if it's a self-defense mechanism, or I laughed so hard my brain made lesions. I guess I have to reread them.
Talking Alpaca
2021-12-27 13:33:27 +0000 UTCSo what are you recommending to me? Well there's an article about a garage sale, an old mary kate and ashley movie. and some stuff about the pagans. Oh, and Satan. Don't forget the Satan. That's not really my- Oh and the Canadian Superheroes. Like Wolverine or Deadpool? Oh, that'd be cool. But no. They're based on crops. And you're recommending these? Absolutely, yes.
DeltaFoxtrot
2021-12-27 13:14:41 +0000 UTC
