Weekly Update
Added 2019-12-02 17:40:00 +0000 UTCCh18 Story Outline is finished and will be uploaded for your perusal shortly.
Goddamn it's huge though, I've written overly detailed notes, sometimes basically all but writing out a full scene, but still, it's clocking in at 10,000 words of notes. Considering I've seen 4-5k word outlines turn into 20k stories, I'm a little worried this one may end up being a bit unwieldy.
Especially since it's only got one sex-scene. That's a big chapter to just have one actual proper sex scene at the end.
Definitely interested in any feedback here:
Should I cut out the backstory stuff and just gloss over or imply it? Is it enough to be told that Say'ri loves Robin, should we see why she does? At least when I did the Tharja flashback, it was Robin and Tharja having sex.
Or go the whole other way and give a full dedicated chapter to their past in Valm, to cover her and Tiki's emotions. Any sex scenes here would be between Robin and Lissa obviously, given the time period. Or maybe do something fun and put Robin with Kagerou too, which would give their meeting in the present a reunion aspect.
Or should I trim the fat through the story more, are there scenes that just serve for world/character building that should be cut?
Or do you think it's fine as is?
Because I'm so concerned about this, I'm gonna open up the Viewing version to every Patreon rather than locking it away at the $50 tier. That's not exactly fair to anyone at that tier, so I'll bump the editing version down to the $50 tier instead.
Otherwise, all feedback welcomed! Hopefully you think it'll be a fun chapter and will look forward to it! I worry sometimes that it's only me and one other person that actually likes Say'ri...
-J
Comments
All thing considering Say’ri with her kink would open up some new ways for our player to make love as research and experimenting with new erotic position would spice things up with all the girls. Heck Anna could provide our player with some erotic lingerie, sexy cosplay clothes and sex books from Chon’sin to get it going if our player travels around.
Cipher92
2019-12-04 03:47:09 +0000 UTCI do regard myself as a Say'ri fan, so I say the more build-up the better. Especially after such a long hiatus (10 months now?), I'm sure everyone would appreciate an extra-long chapter. I am certainly interested in any and all world-building/characterization you have in mind, so to be so bold as to make a narrative structure suggestion, I either think you should make this chapter entirely build up, basically to page 20 in your outline with the extra stuff added in and have Ch 19 be shorter and almost entirely smut based, or do it similarly to how you did Olivia's two chapters with Ch 18 ending in Robin closing the deal, but Ch 19 being mostly flashback which elaborates more while spreading the sex scenes more evenly. If I may also ask a question about Kagero, to what degree are you planning on having her be a presence within the story? I really like how Ch 18 is looking overall though, I'm looking forward to reading it in full!
Brojo's StrangeJourney
2019-12-03 23:11:37 +0000 UTC
