Choose Your Own Brainwashing, Day 24

You are awash in purple light, the deep jewel tone of royalty, the fabled wine-dark sea of poets, the color underneath blackness and beyond the safety of sunny skies.

The sweet scent of ginger, the sugary note that defies the burn that tasting it can bring, crawling into your breath and taking up residence in your lungs, and blood, and bones.

And through it all, you find yourself utterly unable to move. Irrevocably frozen and lacking the ability to even think about moving, or wanting to.

All of your senses completely caught up in this moment, overwhelmed and incapacitated, your mind finally begins to connect the clues it’s been given, and you have an epiphany.

All this time you’ve been inhabiting a very specific world and a very particular state of mind.  Everything that’s happened to you has been teaching you to accept, so give in, to succumb.

To give up control

The word reverberates within you. The idea of it, the concept of it as it applies to you and your needs, becomes entwined with that one word.

CONTROL

Your entire body gives voice, every part of you in perfect unison to state this obvious truth that you didn’t realize you knew until just now:

CONTROL

(pleasure obedience programming)

CONTROL

It feels so good to know so completely that your life is now all about

CONTROL

You are in every place at once: on the train staring out the window at a spiral that you can now clearly see is helping you to learn

CONTROL

The basement, on your knees, mindless and drooling as you stare at the spiral you drew for yourself knowing that you were programming yourself to surrender to

CONTROL

The homely kitchen of a woman whose face you don’t know but who you recognize to be the absolute example of

CONTROL

Everything you’ve ever learned, every mistake you’ve ever made, every triumph, every success – you know that they are insignificant things in your life that are nothing compared to the woman’s

CONTROL

The purple light is the spiral and you ride it around and around and around, always in the woman’s

CONTROL

(“We’re in the endgame now, so close to being done, and you can just let that knowledge become a truth so absolute that your mind is incapable of even considering any alternative.”)

CONTROL

(“And in a moment I’m going to give you back your ability to think, and to speak, and to move. And it’s going to feel in every way as if you’re no longer in trance, it’s going to feel like you’re completely awake and aware, even though you’ll still be deeply, deeply entranced.

“And that can happen)

“NOW.”

Your eyes open, your body stretches, and you find that you’re able to answer questions again.

Do you know where you are?

1. Yes
2. No
3. Under Lee’s control
4. Please tell me