~Castlevania: Trevor Belmont X Listener SFW: Ambitions~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Ambition isn't always about success or failure, and those things aren't the be all end all to life, either.

Contains: Comfort, Advice, Introspection

As what often happens with me, is that I have an idea about something to write, and then I start writing and I go into a fugue state where my hands take over the writing for me. Genuinely, the messages and comfort and advice that are in this audio aren't exactly what I started out intending, and I really like what came out of it however. Writing is like that sometimes lol. There were points where I'm like, "Does this sound like too much introspection coming from Trevor of all people?" and then I realized that just because Trevor is rather brash doesn't mean he's not introspective, and we absolutely see elements of that in the show. I also believe that he would want some peace and gentleness to the world after everything that he's been through. Regardless, I hope you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Trevor: Just because it's not how other people would define it.....doesn't mean that you don't have ambition........

*pause*

I think a lot of people get the idea of ambition wrong.......that it has to be defined as a certain sort of thing to be able to use the word......

Ambition to them is just, trying to strive for power.....for honor....fame....wealth.....

Sometimes.....ambition can be altruistic. An ambition to.....leave the world a better place than when you found it......an ambition to......make those in your life.....happy.....or content.....or just.....make their lives worth living.....

Ambition can be trying to make your own life worth living.......to keep [on] living.......

It's not always about trying to gain something.....tangible....I suppose it what I mean.......

It feels like those definitions have a.....underlying cruelty about them.......

Everything in this world feels like it's forged by fire, by pain, by trying to one up another person, by performing and working and striving to be the best at something, or to achieve something, or to gain something in return.......

It feels like there's no room for anything less......no room for aspirations that reside in a more gentle space.....

And I'd be the first one to admit that I've gotten and often [get] caught up in these sorts of desires.......the want to succeed at all costs.......but I've also seen what people can lose.....when they fail.....

Not to say that we shouldn't try....more like—that the world shouldn't be dictated by successes......by achievements......by.......the output of [things] you do.......not everything you do has to be in some grand scheme of achieving your highest goal. Sometimes you can just [do] things because you want to do them.....because you want someone else to be happy.....to feel loved.......

It shouldn't always be about something to gain. A hobby doesn't have to become your trade.....doesn't have to become your claim to fame......

And you don't have to be the best at them either.....I hate that idea. That the only things worth doing are worth doing well.......

It detracts from the things that make us people.......

It feels like there isn't any room for gentleness in this world......

*pause*

Like I said.....I myself have been caught up more than once in the idea of productivity, of doing everything within one's power to achieve something.......or only being worthwhile for the things that I'm good at......and not....for the person behind those skills.....

I've been praised for my strength.....for my power......for my ambition.....

Sometimes......I don't want to have to [be] strong....to have value.....if that makes sense.....?

You've done an awful lot in helping me realize these things.......

I want to try to be more gentle.....more vulnerable.......

After the bringing up that I've had......Hell after the bringing up that [both] of us have had......

*pause*

Just because we didn't grow up the same......and we have different struggles doesn't mean that one struggled more than the other.......

It's difficult.....to allow yourself to participate in what the rest of the world would call "mediocrity"........

*pause*

Is it mediocre to try to make the world a better place?

Is it mediocre to try to love?

*pause*

*hushed* Exactly.....it isn't........

Ambition can come from anywhere and be applied to anything.....not just for fame.....or for.....any sort of tangible gain.......

Also.....'mediocrity' isn't bad........you're not a bad person if you're not a professional at everything that you do.....it's impossible......

Trust me......

*pause*

Like I said.....you've helped me.....in working these things out.......not always directly either......just.....seeing you.....experiencing life with you.....has helped me really think about things......and find out what things matter to me......

*pause*

You do......you matter to me.....quite a lot......

*long pause*

Even if you never do another so called 'meaningful' thing in your life, you'll still mean a lot to me.......

Life is not meant to be lived in the pursuit of meaning.......not everything [has] to [mean] something to be worthwhile......

We're just people.......just existing is meaningful.......

*pause*

*chuckles* Strange isn't it....that when I actually sit down and use my critical thinking for once that I churn out something intelligent or insightful sounding......

But really.....everything I'm saying could be complete rubbish to everyone else......it doesn't matter......I don't care....

I would rather live in a world where my ambitions aren't limited to or linked to success........a world where gentleness and kindness isn't seen as weakness.......

Where love can be celebrated.......and not thought of as a weakness [or] as a strength......that it's just something that people experience......

Life is something to be experienced.......the life that we live has value and has meaning.....however it's spent........

*pause*

Unless you're a murdering psychopath, but that's not the point I'm trying to make *chuckles*

*exhales* In the end......whatever you do with your life......whatever 'successes' or 'failures' come your way......they all have equal value into what makes us people....no one is better than anyone else because they've [done] more or [achieved] more.......

I think if we were to accept more vulnerability and gentleness and 'mediocrity' in this world.....it would be a better place.......

*long pause*

*chuckles* Well....there's really only one way to start.......

*sighs fondly* Together......Love?

*pause*

*chuckles fondly* Together.......