~The Arcana: Muriel X Listener SFW: Identify~ {Patreon Exclusive}

However he identifies, you'll still care for him just the same.....

Contains: Exploration of Gender, Gender Non Binary Muriel, Conversations, Confessions, Reassurance

With the last SFW audio this month I really wanted to explore another facet of the LGBTQIA+ Community that I haven't directly done before, and I was thinking about Gender fluidity and Gender Binary, and thankfully some Discord members helped me workshop a more solidified idea on that front, and that's what this audio stems from! I wanted to address how like, toxic masculinity and misogyny effects even GNC folks, because so many people think that traditionally large and masculine AMAB people (or in this case, character) can't be anything but "he/him". Not necessarily in a direct way, but in self doubt when it comes to Muriel. I also just wanted to write him being cute an a little shy when being called, "pretty" because I headcanon that's not a word that people use for him a-lot, but he really likes it. So yeah, hopefully it makes sense and I did it justice, and I hope you all enjoy!

~Audio Transcript Below~

Muriel: Will you.....sit? Please?

I....forgive my.....nervousness.....there is something that I......need to speak to you about and if I do not do it now I fear that I will not ever.......

*inhales and exhales*

I--

You've....done nothing wrong......at all....ever towards me......and I apologize if I made you feel as though you did......

That's precisely why I wanted to bring this up to you.....I.....you treat me with so much kindness.....and I feel.....safe with you.....in a way that I do not feel with....any other.....

Even though you may not understand what I'm about to say and....ask......I know that you will not treat me.....poorly because of it......

*pause*

C-could you.....Would you mind.....h-holding my hand?

*whispers* Thank you.......

*deep inhale*

I have been thinking lately....a great amount....as to how I wished to be called......not.....name wise....specifically.....but......

Pronouns......gender.......

*pause*

Not that.....I despise being called, "He" or "him".......I just thought......I would like to know what it sounds like.....what it feels like to be called maybe......"they" or "them"......

*softly*

Or.....even......perhaps...."she" and "her".....

Hearing it from you.....someone so kind.....someone who I care for.....someone who's opinion matters greatly to me........I could think of no one else.......

*long pause*

I've been........slightly afraid to.....tell anyone....even you....simply because......*wry laugh* look at me......

I am so....very large.....and muscular.....and stereotypically masculine.......how could I be anything more than....."he" to anyone's eyes.......

*pause*

Y-you will?

*breathes* Oh.....thank you........thank you....so very much.......

*pause*

*hums softly*

Um....well....perhaps....."They", first?

*long pause*

*exhales softly*

A-and.....now.........*whisper* "S-she"?

*pause*

*gasps* O-oh.......

I.....that was.......spoken from you.....there.....so much care.....you.......both of them.....f-felt....good.......like......I didn't mind......like......it was but wasn't important at the same time to hear them in relation to me......

I think.....I quite like them all......He....They.....She.......

*pause*

I--yes.......I must admit I'm still.....concerned.......

I'm.....I'm so very large and.......there are many who know me from my....gladiator days as a.....terrifying force of death and......I do not fit the mold......

*sighs shakily* I am not.....pretty.....like Asra......

*pause*

Hm?

*pause*

Yes.....I know that.....despite being called "He", Asra is neither a man....nor a woman......he has said so himself.......

*pause*

No.....specific look?

So......you believe that......even though I look the way that I do....that.....I can identify with.....any presentation.....or all of them.....or....none of them and it's......correct?

*pause*

That as long as it resonates with me it's.......true........

*pause*

I.....never thought of it that way..........

Y-you.....would.....call me.....'pretty'?

Well...I.....um....p-perhaps....if....if it isn't too much--I've....asked so much of your already....and--you've been so kind....and understanding....as I knew you would be.....but I don't wish to....to overstep and---

*exhales a shaky breath*

I--I.....oh.....d-do you really--? I know I asked it of you.....but do you honestly think th-that I......could be---?

*sniffs softly* O-oh.........

N-no....I believe you....I know that.....you would not lie to me......to make me feel better.......just....knowing that.....it is.....quite a lot to take in.....to think that....someone....whom I care for deeply......thinks that I am....pretty.....and......genuinely means it......

Good....it's.....good.....I.....do enjoy hearing it.......quite a lot.....from you......

Thank you.....as always....for being.....so....unbelievably kind to me.......understanding......in a way that......no one but Asra really ever has.......hearing you call me.....all these different things.....something in my heart.....it......it feels......full.....I think......

*pause*

And...I want to say this......not just for posterity or because I think I have to......no matter how you....identify......whether it changes at some point or doesn't....I will.....always do my best to be here for you......because.....you mean so much to me........

T-thank you.....as well for.....for holding my hand.....I......just even that simple touch is grounding.......and.....comfortable.......which......I've never experienced before either.....

I'm simply.....blown away by how....easy it is....to be....with you.......

*pause*

Um.....would you.......if you don't---ah....well......

*softly* Could you.....please call me.....pretty.....again?

*pause*

*breathless laugh*

A-and......maybe.......a........*practically a whisper*--a....kiss?

*soft kiss*

Thank you......

Thank you....thank you.......thank you........