~Stardew Valley: Sebastian X Listener SFW: You Understand~ {Patreon Exclusive}

It's not the first time you've seen Sebastian standing out in the rain, this time just feels....different, like you need to talk to him......

Contains: Smoking, Talks of Mental Illness, Anxiety, Comfort, Confessions

If you're active on the Discord you know I had a moment of panic when I was trying to figure out what character to do, and Sebastian has been someone I've kept in my back pocket for a while, and I think he was a good choice due to the fact that he struggles with anxiety, so I chose him! One of the things that I kept thinking about while writing this is that I really wanted it to feel like one of the Heart Events when you're romancing him, so hopefully I pulled that off too lol. Also, I was a little disappointed because he sounds a little too much like my Bucky voice for my comfort, but maybe that's just because it's me, so please let me know if you liked it and if it did/didn't sound like my Bucky voice lol. 

~Audio Transcript Below~

*rain*

Sebastian: *inhales on a cigarette*

*exhales*

Oh......hey Farmer.......what're doin' out here in the rain?

*pause*

Well.....my mom doesn't like it when I smoke inside......or at all really....but fuck it.....you know?

*pause*

I like it out here when it rains. I don't get too wet under the trees. Not much happens in Pelican Town I'll admit, but.......when it rains.....it's like everything shuts up and--I don't know--*takes drag of cigarette*--feels like I can finally breathe......

Yoba!--Ah--shit---fuck....I'm sorry......

Here I am rambling and you're getting soaked. C'mon, we'll go inside--

It's fine. We'll dry off, well, more you than me but--just c'mon.....

*Fade Out*

*Fade In*

Here's a towel........

Sorry.....yeah.....my mom does.....some sort of yoga work out classes with some of the other women in town on Tuesdays......she doesn't like to miss it even when it's raining.......

If you wanted to wait here.....that's fine.....I finished all my work for today already so you're not bothering me or anything. Besides.....you came all this way in the rain and well......

You're not imposing.....you're fine......

*long pause*

*deep sigh*

Yeah......I have moments like that where......I just want the world to stop for a minute......to feel like I can catch up and recharge.......

Makes me think that I'm not ready to go to the big city and beyond by myself sometimes.....

But......I think it might be easier if I were to just go by myself.....even if there's more people, I wouldn't have to worry about upsetting anyone when I just can't stand to be around them. I can just get on my motorcycle and.....leave you know? Not have to deal with people who don't understand......

But you understand.....don't you?

I have this......underlying fear that......no one actually likes me.....that they're all just.....pretending to put up with me because we live in this small town together and they don't have anyone.....better.......

And as much as I do genuinely care for my friends.......sometimes I just need to.....be away from them.....that being around people, even if I like them.....just after a while makes me so damn.....tired......or I feel like the need to just.....crawl out of my skin because I need to be alone......

And....I don't want them to think I'm a bad friend because I need to be alone.....or make fun of me.....

And while the rational part of my brain tells me that they wouldn't do that, nothing in their behavior or the way that they act towards me is indicative of that I just.......

The anxiety I feel plays into my introversion and......you....get that....don't you?

That's one thing that we share.....huh?

*pause*

It's really nice to feel like someone genuinely.....understands when I tell them about having to recharge after being around people too long, and how.....I'm perfectly content being alone.....

I told you before.....Sam can't do that.....he feels like he'll vibrate out of his skin without something to do or people to do it with.......

But you and I?

I mean.....I don't feel uncomfortable with you at all right now......I don't feel wiped out talking to you......

*pause*

When I met you........and now that I've gotten to know you better.....it's gotten easier to talk......to...experience things.....at least.....when you're around.......because you understand....

I don't have to worry about telling you that we need to stop in the middle of an activity because I feel like I'm going to explode from the sheer anxiety or exhaustion from being around other people......

It's so...easy with you.....in a way it's never been before......

And....I hope you feel that way with me too.....because.....it's been a real blessing in disguise I think......and......I think it'd be real nice knowing......that I can provide the same thing for you that......you provide for me......

*pause*

I said I think about getting on my bike and just.....leaving everything.......and it was something I thought about for a long while.....

It's changed....recently......

I used to want to go alone......just me......

But I've found myself more frequently thinking about.....how it wouldn't be bad at all.......if you were to come with me......

*pause*

And---I--I know that's silly....it's stupid....you have your farm here....and I can tell you're happy with it......because you came form the big city, didn't you, and you hated it? Why else would you come out here....?

I--*swallows roughly*

Thanks.......

*softly* I'm sorry if my hand is sweaty.......

*pause*

But I also think.....more and more......that maybe......Pelican Town.....and Stardew Valley.....aren't really all that bad......

You did that......or......at the very least you've helped with that.....I don't......I don't think I feel as trapped as I did before.......I don't feel that urge pulling me away......

Sure....I do still want to go out to the city one day......see what I can do......but.....I don't think I'm in that much of a hurry anymore.......

I've got things.....keeping me here.......

Thank you......I can't.....describe to you the relief......of having a relationship I don't have to constantly worry over.......

*long pause*

*door shutting*

Ah-....that's probably my mom.....c'mon.....you needed to get some supplies, right?

*pause*

I'm sure it'll be fine just this once.....besides....you came all this way in the rain......she'll feel sorry for you........

*pause*

Thank you.......really......I.....I appreciate you.......

C'mon, before my Mom gets distracted by something else.......