~Bucky Barnes SFW: Personal Standards~ {Patreon Exclusive}

Bucky might not be into the same things you are, and he may not necessarily have the same experiences, but to be honest, he might be onto something.

Contains: Comfort, Encouragement, Advice.

This kind of spurned from an idle conversation I was having with one of my friends a little while back, and the idea kind of stuck with me. As content creators or even just as people, there is a potential to have this underlying fear that none of us are good enough at what we're doing, and those thoughts sometimes are the biggest things that hold us back from doing what we love to do. I know I definitely struggle even making audios sometimes because I'm so worried that it's not going to end up how I imagine it to be. I have to take a step back and tell myself to just do it anyway, because that's better than not doing anything at all. 

Even now, I'm still not 100% on my Bucky voice or my Bucky character, but I'm working on it, and that's something. Long story short, I hope that this audio encourages those of you who may need the kick in the pants or the realization that not everything has to be perfect, and sometimes you just gotta do so you can get better.

~Audio Transcript Below~

Bucky: What’s goin’ on? You’ve been kinda radio quiet these past couple of days, so I thought I’d check up on you.

Is it something that you wanna talk about?

*pause*

Well…..that...definitely sounds like something’s going on.

*pause*

It’s ok….I’m used to being a sounding board…..before I first got back to really….being me…..Steve would talk to me for hours sometimes….just talking about anything, so it’s ok…..

*pause*

Hey, I know that this may not be what you wanna hear but…..this is something that I saw with Stevie---with Steve when we were younger….before the war.

I know you probably know, but Steve was--is an amazing artist. There was a short time where the only things that were keeping bread on the table were Steve’s drawings. He was getting ready to go to art school before…..well….everything….

But that’s not the point I’m trying to make. Steve used to get really frustrated with his art sometimes, that’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know. It happens to him all the time, even today. People seem to think that everything comes easy to him, when it really doesn’t. There are times where he was so frustrated and blocked that he wouldn’t draw a thing for weeks. I would tell him to just scribble something out, and that it didn’t have to be good, and well….like the block head he is he wouldn’t really listen to me. But I could see how frustrated he was getting, and well, I’m seeing a lot of the same things with you….so…..maybe the thing that finally got him to listen to me will help you.

We all have certain ‘tastes’ I guess when it comes to the things that we do and create and we have higher standards to ourselves than the ones who are watching or consuming the things that we do. For instance, sometimes, when Steve would show me something he’d draw, I’d comment how good it looked, and he would get this little pinched look on his face, like he didn’t really believe me, and when I’d ask him what was wrong, he’d tell me that all he could see in the art was the flaws, but in reality, those were things that I didn’t even notice, and I told him so. Why did he need to tell me that? Why was it necessary?

It eventually got to the point where I talked to him. It seemed like to me, that he was limiting himself and putting off doing the thing that he loved to do because he didn’t think he could live up to his own standards. I think that’s where you are now.

If you spend all your time worrying about the things you produce or the things you do not being up to your own standards and your own personal tastes, you’re not going to end up doing or making anything. And that’s not just for drawing either.

I know there are people worried about doing sports or singing, or any other amount of things in this world that they love doing because they think that they aren’t good enough. But, if you don’t practice, if you don’t keep doing, then you’re never going to get better and get good enough for your own standards in the first place. Nobody is perfect, even professionals. Not everyone can keep up being to their own standards all the time. Sometimes you just gotta do the thing, and if it doesn’t turn out, acknowledge what did and didn’t work, and go from there. Hell, even if there wasn’t any part of it that did work, sometimes you just gotta go, ‘Well, that didn’t work’ and move on. That’s what got Stevie so stuck sometimes, the moving on part, and I’m kind of seein’ that in you right now.

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t have standards for yourself or whatever, because standards are good, it shows the hard work you’re willing to put into something, but it’s something that you can’t let consume you, because if you do, you’re going to end up doing even less of the things that you love doing. 

I know this is kinda vague and probably not worth all that much comin’ from a guy who until recently hasn’t really done a lot of stuff for himself and has been having trouble moving on from stuff, but that’s the thing, I’m trying. I’m still trying and I’m still doing, and if I mess up or if I get something wrong, I try to look at it objectively, and continue on. Sure, some days are always harder than others, that’s just what being a person is like, but like I said to Steve and like I’m saying to you know, if you’re so afraid that what you make isn’t going to live up to you, then you’re not going to make anything anyway. You don’t wanna catch yourself in a vicious cycle of worrying and doing nothing, because that’s keeping you away from doing the things that make you happy, that make you the person that you are.

So, move on, I guess? Try? It’s easier to say than to do, and it’s just my two cents, but I figure…..if my advice worked for Captain America….maybe it’ll work for you?