ANIMT - Episode 60

ANIMT - Chapter 60. To Be In Love

I Got An Extra Six Months of Life Expectancy, And Now It’s My Time

For a moment, I lost track of my bearings.

I felt a strong pull, and before I knew it, I was in his arms, embraced in a tight hug.

“Kitora… ?”

I called out to him in confusion, but he didn’t reply. Instead, I heard the sound of him gnashing his teeth. His bright red hair was slicked with moisture, most likely because of the snow melting from his body’s temperature.

As time itself felt like it had stopped, my mind began to wander. How long had I stood here in his embrace?

“Hey, Kitora. You probably already know, but I fell down a set of stairs and died. So, um, this body is a magical construct, and I’m here to say goodbye… ”

“… Shut up.”

Finally opening his mouth, he interrupted my explanation. With just two words, I could feel his irreverence. But I couldn’t see his downcast expression, and I couldn’t read his thoughts from just the sound of his voice in my ears.

But the arm that was holding me trembled slightly, and it seemed as if he was choking back a maelstrom of passion.

But sorry, Kitora. I can’t shut up here. I don’t have much time, after all.

“Listen, Kitora. This is the final opportunity for us to talk, so I will speak without restraint. At first, I didn’t have the slightest bit of confidence that we could make a proper pair. You had a bad look in your eyes, you were violent, you were a delinquent, and I was afraid of you.”

“… I told you to shut up.”

“… So let me tell you. Since you were like that, I tried my hardest not to set you off, and I tried my hardest to be as unassuming as possible. But you sure knew how to push my buttons. You couldn’t be bothered to remember my name, and you would immediately resort to calling me a bitch amongst other rude labels.”

To my surprise, complaint after complaint spewed out.

Well, his bad mouth still has not improved very much, even after everything we went through…

“But now, I know that Kitora is a rather nice guy. I’m glad I got paired with you.”

As the night breeze blew softly, brushing my hair aside, my mouth fell open.

Yes, I’m proud to have Kitora as my partner. He’s a cool and nice guy.

Aside from the usual grumbles, he accompanied me through many magic training sessions and events. He even ran around the school worried for me when I went missing. Swearing aside, he helped me practice magic and study, especially when Kokomi was preoccupied with other things.

I’m glad he told me that he didn’t intend to change partners.

“You’re not very honest or friendly, but when the time calls for it, I can count on you. You’ve always been the one to help me, and I never really got a chance to tell you this, but I’m really grateful… And, uh, well… ”

Losing my momentum, my words began to falter. I’m not sure if my feelings will be properly conveyed by the tsundere remark I wrote in the corner of my suicide note so hastily.

Since it’s the last time I’m going to see him, I’m beginning to find enough courage to express these feelings freely, face-to-face with Kitora.

I glanced at him, and scrounged up all of my courage, finally ready to tell him directly.

He clicked his tongue and put his hand around my head. I was physically unable to speak as my face was pressed hard against his disheveled uniform.

Before I could react, he spoke in a low voice.

“When I heard that you died… I felt my breath harden in my chest.”

“What!”

“At first I couldn’t believe it, I thought I was mistaken, I couldn’t believe it at all but then I realized it was real. I don’t remember exactly what I did after that. When I came to, I was here.”

----When I came here, I thought you’d put up your usual stern face.

His muttering was swallowed by the darkness. A voice so weak that I almost thought it was someone else. I involuntarily grabbed his shirt tightly.

As my fingers dug into the fabric, I realized how thinly clad he was. In such cold weather, you would need a thick shirt and jacket. Dressed as he was, he must have sleepwalked to this place to wait for me.

The hand holding my head loosened and my lips were finally able to move again.

With a sigh, I let out an apology, “I’m sorry, Kitora”.

These were the only words I could find to say.

“Don’t apologize. Don’t be a fool, you. I don’t understand how you died so suddenly, or how you’re able to come say goodbye through magical means. What the hell is happening?”

A single drop fell from his damp red hair.

I don’t have time, I think I have to say something.

With my hand on his back, my mind went blank.

Just as I was about to let the time waste away, it was Kitora who started speaking first.

“Don’t le… me… ”

“What?”

“Don’t leave me, Mitsuba.”

“!”

“Don’t die. Don’t die. Stay here forever. Stay here with me. Stand by my side. I lo… ”

----I love you.

The word he almost said sent my mind into turmoil.

Do you like me, Kitora?

“Hey, hey Kitora, are you telling the truth? You’re not making fun of me like you usually do? You’re being honest, aren’t you? I love you, too. I love you too, Kitora.”

I confess, snuggling up closer to his chest removing all of the space between us.

I laughed while sobbing. That we both loved each other was an unexpected outcome.

“Isn’t this amazing? It’s amazing that we both feel the same way. I’m so happy right now, I feel like an idiot. I’m so excited, I’m shaking with joy. Finally… I’m so happy, but… ”

… But I’ve never felt more alone. I’ll miss Kitora more than anyone else.

“Don’t finish that thought! Don’t go anywhere anymore! Don’t leave me behind.”

“Kitora… ”

A near-scream and a mournful response that was almost a mutter. Both voices laden with sorrow.

Everything he said left a mark on my heart. I want to stay by his side.

Since our time up until now has been spent just as a pair, from this point on, I want to be with him as a lover, not a partner.

But I’m sorry.

I have to leave you now.

Soon, the spell cast on me will end.

I must not forget that I am here to say goodbye.

Even if your shoulders shake and you hug me tighter as I speak.

Our reality is one that can not be changed.

But if I have a little time left, I wonder if I can say something that will leave a legacy to the love that will live on. The person I love said to me, “I love you,” and I could say back, “I love you, too. I am sad and lonely, but I feel so fulfilled.”

I smiled and hugged him back as hard as I could, and said what was on my mind.

“Even in a world where I am not here, you should live on. But as I said before, I wish you were a bit more honest with yourself. I want more people to know your charm, Kitora. You are a caring and good guy, so you should let people know that.”

This was half true and half false.

There is no way I could expose my dirty, true feelings: the fact that I wish I was the only one who knew about the attractive qualities of Kitora. I especially don’t want other women to know about them.

I’m sure that Kitora will live well into the future, and I’m sure he will become even cooler, Then, I think he’ll be able to find a cute girlfriend and make her into a lovely wife. The fact that she won’t be me hurts, but I’ll manage.

… I really hate that. To be honest, I think I’ll be the only one who can understand the confusing charm of Kitora. I think.

Even so, I was in trouble because my feelings of wishing for his future happiness were from the bottom of my heart, but they conflicted with what I really wanted.

So, I laughed like usual, saying, “I hope you get involved with a lot of people, and that you increase the number of people who are important to you. Please promise me that.”

Kitora was silent, but I’ll take it as a sign of approval.

But you know what? Even if I become a human of the past, I was certainly your partner and lover for a period of time.

I will never give up on that, and I’m sure that I will be forgiven for wishing that you never forget me.

“… It’s time to say goodbye. Can I see your face one last time? Please?”

When I said this, Kitora was unusually obedient, loosening his arms and facing me firmly.

Even in the darkness, where there was only moonlight, he gazed at me with golden eyes, which were fully illuminated that peaked through his hair, which dripped with moisture.

At this point, I felt like Kitora would hear out any of my requests.

At least for as long as I was still just barely visible in his eyes.

… I’m going to make my first and final request as a woman.

“Call me by my name more often. Tell me you love me more.”

Until the moment I disappear, please.

“… Mitsuba”

“Yeah.”

“I like you, Mitsuba. I’ve probably liked you for quite a while.”

“… Yeah.”

“I have a million things to say to you. You say I’m clumsy and whatnot, but if you ask me, you’re clumsy too. And you’re not very good at anything either. You’re also a stubborn fool in the weirdest ways, and I don’t know why I fell in love with you.”

“Aren’t these all terrible points? Can’t you name a few good points?”

“The only good thing about you is that you have the guts… But you’re right. Even though those are all terrible reasons, I can’t help but like you.”

“I see.”

“… It’s a banal expression to say that you only realize what you’ve lost when it’s gone… but I can’t laugh. I wanted a future where I could be with you. I still want it. I can’t give up. I love you, Mitsuba.”

I’m embarrassed to admit that I asked for it, but in order to get what I wanted, Kitora called my name over and over again, repeating the words “I love you” in the sarcastic way that I’ve grown accustomed to.

It’s a testament to my persistence that I was able to pull this much out of someone who has not a shred of honesty.

The fact that I had to even pull it out of him is embarrassing, but from this exchange, it’s clear that I’m not the only one who was embarrassed.

Breathing deeply, I stretched my neck out, stood on my tiptoes, and gently put my lips on the edge of his mouth. His eyes widened in surprise, and I tell him, with a smug look on my face, “I love you too, Kitora.”

By the time I finished saying this, my body had already turned into particles of light and began to melt into the pitch-black darkness. Isn’t it really romantic to die in the arms of a favorite person in the moonlight?

Goodbye, Kitora.

----I’m glad I fell in love with you.

Right up to the final moment, Kitora kept calling my name desperately, just as I had hoped.

At the end of this magically extended life, what remained in my ears was his voice calling out “Mitsuba.”

Ah, I am now… I am very, very happy.

----

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TL Note: Mald Frogs Club tries to capture the intent of the author when translating these chapters. This is not a literal translation and we can not guarantee the accuracy of it. We re-structure sentences to improve the flow and if we spot what appears to be an obvious error, we fix it as we go.