Lube Dispenser.

The way her ass parts to settle over my nose and rest so comfortably over my chin convinces me that at least one of the purposes of the human face is to be sat on. She's leaning back but squirming enough that every once in a while I am able to breathe in a full gust of air. It's not enough but it's ensuring I don't pass out. The scrap of lace in my mouth has dried it out and it tastes and feel like paste now, I have never wanted a glass of water like I do now.

I try to take my mind off the thirst and instead focus on the steady flow of cunt-scented saliva that drips out of his mouth and into my hair. I can hear the sound of his jaw opening and closing against her pussy. A part of me feels truly disgusted by this happening so close to me that I can smell it despite having my nose buried up an ass, but another part of me is so excited by it. It's an odd kind of satisfaction I feel when I imagine someone else being pleasured by his mouth; it's one thing when your partner does things you love to other women but it's much more satisfying when he does things he cannot do with me. It makes me feel much more inadequate and much less worth it.

The more she moans and wriggles the more I feel focused on the wetness of my hair. I can estimate by her asshole clenching against my nose that she's close and I secretly like that. I like when everyone around me gets to come but I don't, whatever it is that I am trying to reinstate to myself about myself it is done well by having him pleasure another woman right atop my face. I struggle to breathe while she clenches my arms and her thighs as she comes in his mouth. I wonder if she feels the same dire, depressing air of finality that I do right after I come but from the way she shoots up by the hip and rubs herself against the cloth in my mouth I can't imagine she does. Orgasms are the end of pleasure to me, I am constantly in awe of women who can have one and want more.

I'm in awe of this woman who is being told to clean herself off against my face and hair. I try to help her by rubbing my face back into her but she doesn't need the help. She is able to comply perfectly with his request even as he holds her by the hips and turns her over. She feels different on my face bent over — warmer, closer and more familiar — this position she is in now I know well, the previous one was entirely alien to me. In this one I feel tempted to hug her by the hips and hold her tight. It's odd, I don't normally feel able to provide comfort in times like these.

But of course she doesn't need it. She's not me. She's..eager. There are women in the world who are eager to take it up the ass and I am in constant awe of these women too. I can't take a finger up my ass without having an emotional crisis. He pushes his finger roughly into my mouth and barks at me to make it all wet. I work as hard at it as I can but I can barely help with the cloth and the dehydration, I have no saliva left in me. Yet she barely whimpers as he slides his fingers into her ass. She moans as he fucks her slowly with them, rubbing her back and calling her a good girl. I don't get *good girl* with his fingers in my ass because I don't moan, I cry and so he calls me an uncooperative damaged whore instead. Later tonight he will remind me that my reluctance is why he needs to find other asses to fuck; he'll explain my reluctance is why it needs to be done right over my face.

"Where are you going?" I hear her ask and I croon my neck to see him walking towards the other end of the bed.

"To get some lube from the dispenser," he says, "I wouldn't want to hurt you too much."

I'm confused because I know there's a bottle of lube on every table in the room. It's my personal obsession to have it in arm's reach all around me. My confusion is abated as I realize exactly what he means by lube, the distance is short so my realization comes around the same time as his fingers squeeze my swollen clit.

"Come on, get it all wet," he says sliding into me slowly.

His fingers pinch me hard and slow, and oddly I really do feel like a dispenser, maybe more because I know this works. He can hurt me a little and make me a lot wet. I bite the moan in my lip as he pushes deep inside me and holds still for a second. As he pulls out I wonder if she is watching but only for a moment until I feel her fingers dig for wetness inside me, she scoops it out with her fingers and nails and rubs it, presumably, on his cock. For a moment, I enjoy so much attention it feels like I am in the wrong bedroom.

The moment ends in his proclamation of being all lubed up and grabbing her hips much like he often grabs mine. I squeeze my eyes shut like I would if this were happening to me but instead of screams of terror my ears are filled with moans of pleasure. She arches lower and settles down on my face again; moaning louder than when his tongue was drawing circles around her. I feel forgotten again and convinced that the human face was meant to be sat on.

I can't breathe again.

But I can hear her shrieks of pleasure as her nails dig into my thighs.

I'm glad I can't breathe again. I don't try to understand when I can't breathe and there is no way I can understand this pleasure. I like having it at close though. I like having it happen right above me as I drift away into breathlessness and obscurity.