Notice
Added 2024-08-03 14:36:42 +0000 UTCHey everyone,
Firstly, no, the story isn’t being dropped, and it will continue as is. Don’t worry, lol. I just wanted to talk about something on my mind lately—something I’ve been trying to fix the last few days.
Anyway, I got a DM on Discord that made me realize something from one of my author friends. If one person’s feeling a certain way about the story, chances are others are too. I was also feeling kind of same, and it felt good to get a confirmation.
So, I wanted to open up a bit about what’s been going on in my head.
Lately, I’ve been feeling like the story was losing its way. It started to feel like a typical progression fantasy, which wasn’t the original plan. It felt like I was betraying the promise I made to all of you at the beginning.
I know you all had certain expectations going in, and I want to honor that.
And thus, recently, I took a big step back and hit the drawing board again and thought things through.
That’s led me to where I am today, where I’ve scrapped my initial plans for the future of this story, scrapped the rest of the outline for book 1 and a considerable chunk of book 2, and hit reset so I can I redo all the outline again.
This means I can refocus on the story’s core and deliver the experience I promised.
Don’t worry; the plot you’ve already seen won’t change. I am not rewriting the story, either. But I am determined to improve the story going forward. And to go back to the basics.
Book 2 specifically—which isn’t that far off— is going to be a lot closer to the original vision I had for Industrial Mage.
So, I hope you can stick through the slug for a bit.
I love progression fantasy as much as the next person, but it’s clear as day that it’s not the right fit for this story.
I know it’s frustrating when a story takes an unexpected turn, and even more frustrating when I don’t post as much as I should, and I apologize for any inconvenience. However, I do hope you can be understanding; I try, but I do have IRL obligations I cannot just ignore. Not to mention I am a slow writer by nature, and I hit burnout very easily.
I’m committed to delivering a story we can all be proud of. Your support means the world to me, and I’m grateful for your patience.
I’m always open to feedback, so please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts. Your input is invaluable as I’m still learning and growing as a writer.
Industrial Mage has taught me a lot, and I’m sure it will continue to be a valuable learning experience.
Your comments, corrections, and ideas are an absolute goldmine. Every time someone points out a typo, suggests a different word, or explains why something works (or doesn’t), it’s like a little lightbulb goes off. It helps me look at my writing with fresh eyes and ask, “Can I do better?”
Regardless, I’ve rambled for quite a bit. But, I just wanted to be completely transparent with you all.
Comments
Agreed, definitely felt this story was morphing into a progression fantasy and losing its industrialisation roots. I think it started somewhere around chap 21.
Axelios
2024-08-15 10:54:34 +0000 UTCFor more ideas for inventions, as well as for discussions about different inventions, how they work, and maybe even how to introduce and/or implement them, feel free to DM me on Discord, where I have the same username: Sapioit
Sapioit D. Deicider
2024-08-13 02:50:29 +0000 UTCWelp, I wrote a really long reply, but my browser crashed. TLDR: it's sad that most stories focusing on bringing tech to other worlds are mostly limited to less than 5 new technologies, with very few even getting into the less than 10 new technologies. Examples of such technologies: wax/tree-sap + pigments from clay/dirt or rocks or plants to make crayons, chinese wheelbarrows differ from european wheelbarrows, chukubu is a wooden heavy-duty kick-scooter type popular in Africa (and you don't necessarily need a spring for it), completely wooden bicycles, wooden leaf-spring suspensions for bicycle seats and chukubus and other things like the next item, cattle-powered trains using treadles to harvest the mechanical energy of cattle and a gearbox with reduction gears for different pairs of torque and maximum speed and with ratcheting mechanisms for the gears moving in a single direction, ondols are under-floor heating, kang beds are beds on top of a stove, dutch windmills and persian windmills, cheap folding microscopes followed by bigger non-folding microscopes for unclassed people or non-mages, telescopes for astronomy and binoculars for the army, plows from angled T-shaped branches (the digging part being part of the log from which the branch grows), pens for the nobles and eventually also for the common folk once mass-producing them becomes cheap-enough (i.e. using metal stamping), water pumps for pumping water into water towers and terracotta pipes for getting the water into people's homes and a push-the-plug water tap, and water a trombe for making dry compressed air which to be cooled by water and later down the pipe cooled by cold air before being released in an underground well-insulated cold room from where the excess air to escape from the opposite corners of the room into pipes which to get that air around the pipe with the air going in so it can cool even more the air going in and then released into the atmosphere or maybe to some other place in need of dry air (i.e. the manor of the city lord), and given enough time, I'm sure I can come up with a few tens to a few hundreds of inventions, maybe even thousands of inventions, which would help industrialize the world of your story. And remember, this text above is merely a TLDR (Too Long, Didn't Read).
Sapioit D. Deicider
2024-08-13 02:08:40 +0000 UTCThat's one thing I find jarring from progression fantasies, they appeal to the myth of the champion, to the idea of being the strongest man alive, but here is the catch, humanity biggest weapon has always been societies, more today than ever, and these stories just shelf it because the concept of friends became cliche ages ago.
Gabriel Melnik
2024-08-03 15:38:52 +0000 UTCDo you remember when the system rewired Ethan's brain forcing him to believe he was in reality? What if that "mental health checkup" didn't work? What if the overarching magical system was unraveling at the seams and Ethan could work as a primer to end the establishment as they know it or keep it rolling for some more time? All these possible minor retcons and suggestions loose meaning because Ethan and the story had no time to develop and it was always a constant "out of the frying pan into the fire" situation where the hero an the villains fight a war without reason. Long story short in my opinion making the system unreliable and letting conflicts brew, characters interact and philosophies clash would do wonders for the story.
Gabriel Melnik
2024-08-03 15:24:41 +0000 UTCThat’s what I’ve been realising my self about this story too, like I expected way more town building etc but like you said, it feels more like a typical progression fantasy. If it was me personally, I think I’d have around 30% of the book dedicated to personal growth and the other 70% to town and business building.
Dylan Alexander
2024-08-03 15:01:29 +0000 UTC
