Lewd Dungeon, Book 37 Prologue

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

Backpage: So, anyways, that’s known as a Blindcrest Special on Bluemountain.

Id10t: Please, stop talking. I didn’t want to know that. No one has ever wanted to know that!

Craig34: I mean, it isn’t like anyone who’s gone into the Demon’s Dungeon hasn’t done worse.

Kimiko: I’ve never done anything near as bad as doing… that with a goat and a man at the same time, and I’ve been in the dungeon plenty of times!

l33tpally: Captain Hentai?

Kimiko: Tentacle slimes are different. Especially since no one chooses to get caught by Captain Hentai!

Domino: But why do they use a goat?

Backpage: Well, this one had a goat on hand, but I heard other places use other animals. Even heard about one place that used horses.

BadCompany: All right, so that we can talk about literally anything else, did everyone hear about the collection of different high-level parties gathering in Swamptown right now?

Scholar: Oh, thank the gods. And yes, I did hear about it. Something to do with the new floors being a difficulty spike?

TsundereHealer: They haven’t actually seen the new floors, yet. A couple teams have made it past Shai-hulud, and into the pyramid, but no one has beaten the boss of the pyramid on ‘normal’ mode yet, so no one knows what is past there.

Salty: What’s the issue?

TsundereHealer: Issue is that the boss isn’t alone. More of a party-on-party fight. That, in and of itself, isn’t a problem. The problem is that the boss is a caster with nasty spells, and there’s two warriors to act as tanks, an archer, and a healer, as well. Nasty part is that every 25% off the boss’s health, the healer throws out this big area spell that heals undead, and has a knockback on everyone else on the platform.

Kimiko: And getting knocked off the platform means you’re likely hitting one of the random curse tiles on the floor, right?

TsundereHealer: Right. And there are adds at random times to harass anyone staying off the platform and attacking at range, while the magic barrier around the platform means that spellcasters (including the healers) need to be on the platform to be effective. And spellcasters don’t have the best knockback protections in their kits to begin with.

Scholar: So, why not burn down the healer, first?

TsundereHealer: That’s the general idea, but the rest of the group aren’t just standing there, after all. Some of the boss’s spells are nasty and NEED interrupts, while the warriors can and will try to knock people off the platform if you don’t have a tank holding their attention. And that archer targets casters first, unless a ranged is harassing him.

Scholar: Is the boss party all undead?

TsundereHealer: Yeah, all some variant of mummy.

Scholar: Have you tried ‘healing’ them? Healing spells are supposed to damage the undead, after all. A healer doing an AoE heal would be able to work on their team and help damage enemies.

LatinHeat: It has been tried. Problem was, the moment our healer tried it, they suffered a knockback, sending them off the platform, and they got cursed.

Salty: Fuck. There goes that idea.

Temptation: The pyramid is a trial. The floors beyond, leading to the raid, are going to test everyone who attempts them. While death has always been a possibility in the dungeon, the floors leading up to the raid will destroy those who are not prepared.

Crusader: And there’s probably some twisted ability in the raid, too, to make it worse.

Temptation: Actually, I think I’m being very nice in the raid. It is held at regular intervals, but people can explore and act in the raid zone between raids. In fact, it is encouraged. Yes, doing so might kill you, but those who prove worthy enough to raid will have tokens. If you are carrying a token when you die within the raid zone, you will return to life at the end of the raid, before the next ‘downtime’ begins.

LatinHeat: In other words, the monsters in that raid zone are going to be definitely out to kill us, because we can revive?

Temptation: They won’t pull their punches, but how they act depends on your actions, and choices.

Salty: Can we at least get a hint about how to deal with the damn pyramid boss?

Temptation: All I will say is that the current strategy is the correct one. Think of this like a combination of some of the skills you’ve learned in earlier floors. The two that come immediately to mind are facing the twin bosses in Goblin Town on the platform above a spiked pit, and the fight against Loshex in the Water Temple. Like I said, this boss fight is a test, to make sure that those who manage to get through to the next few floors are skilled enough to handle what is to come.

Kimiko: What about the floors after the Pyramid? Anything we can do to start preparing?

Temptation: I will not give away too much. However, I will, at least, give you this hint: anyone who passes beyond the Pyramid should ensure that they have all the tools an adventurer visiting other dungeons, or just in general, might have. Whether that be skills, equipment, or knowledge.

Scholar: So, some survival knowledge, and equipment for a variety of scenarios?

Temptation: You may read it as such.

Scholar: I really hate it when you do that.

Crusader: You should have seen him before the Apocalypse.

VenusFlyTramp: Hey, pulling this away from the talk of the dungeon itself, I noticed that the head of the LA branch of the guild went into the dungeon, with a child. I thought you expressly wanted to keep children out of the dungeon?

Temptation: Simply put, the LA guildmaster was not going into the dungeon proper, but came to see me. We don’t get to speak that often, since we’re both busy, and I did want to introduce myself to my daughter.

VenusFlyTramp: Wait, your daughter? The LA Guildmaster’s daughter is yours? Like really? I knew some people thought it, but no one had ever confirmed it before!

RangerMiguel: Let me guess, during that time when we were ‘negotiating’ access to the portal network? Probably after the rest of us passed out?

Temptation: Indeed. But don’t feel too bad, Miguel. After all, it takes a lot more ‘exertion’ to wear a succubus out, and even more to tire one such as myself.

Scholar: I hate that I already knew that about you.

Temptation: But you loved it so much when you were watching me create and test a floor. By the way, how is my son?

ScoopGirl: Oh, that’s right. Little miss got herself knocked up back then. Never checked up on her. You sure the kid is yours?

Temptation: Unless she’s been with another god, then the Godbred title is pretty definitive proof.

ScoopGirl: I thought you hadn’t become a god at that point?

Temptation: Yes, and no. I was on the path to divinity, but hadn’t achieved it, yet. However, you’ll find that, on rare occasions, the System goes back and applies things retroactively. Mostly when gods are involved. It is one of the ways the System manages the different ways gods interact with the rest of reality.

Scholar: Can we go back to talking about the raid?