Lewd Dungeon, Book 13 Prologue

Prologue – Trade Chat

(Adventurer’s Guild Official Forums, Miami Branch)

SunnyBunz, MightyMouse, ImAPally, DontYouWantMe, AsaAkiraIsBae, BestGirl, LatinHeat, Salty, Backpage, Craig34, l33tpally, Anonymous3, Anonymous4, RedFox, Kimiko, DonnyJuan, Crusader, BadCompany, HurricaneGal, Ambassador, Scholar, Righteous, Id10t, Satyr, DarkEnchanter, RangerMiguel, ScoopGirl, VenusFlyTramp, MagicMike, TsundereHealer, Max, LightningLegacy, SwiftTaylor, Domino, Bacchus, Aegis, Temptation, and Lord_Kickass are in the chat.

BadCompany: Fuck, things have really geared up on the first couple floors of the dungeon.

SunnyBunz: What do you mean, what happened?

BadCompany: The traps have gotten more devious again, and there’s more of them. We encountered a new slime variant that used magic. And one of the Assassin Vines had Captain Hentai’s paralyzing slime on it!

Satyr: *whistles* That’ll do a number on an unprepared party, for sure.

Domino: Ooh, we encountered the Slimy Assassin Vine as well. Nasty piece of work. Strange thing is that it is definitely not natural. Well, as natural as things get these days.

Temptation: Of course, it isn’t natural. Takes a lot of work to crossbreed slimes and plants, you know.

LatinHeat: How in the hell did you do that?

Temptation: The Slimy Assassin Vine came from ‘feeding’ a Seeder Bush quite a lot of Slime Lord slime. It took quite a while before I was able to get the right mix for viable ‘offspring’.

SunnyBunz: But WHY? Why would you do such a thing?

Temptation: What, you never play around with things when you get bored? I have plenty of time on my hands, you know. I don’t sleep, unlike my minions.

SunnyBunz: So, what, you just decided one night to see what happens when you feed a slime to a plant?

Temptation: You say that like I’m crazy or something.

Crusader: Crazy AND Evil.

LightningLegacy: Let it go, girl. He’s just trying to rile you.

Max: On a different note, I notice that the Ambassadors didn’t leave the dungeon last night. And they haven’t come out of the dungeon yet today.

Kimiko: If they were challenging the dungeon, they probably spent the night to rest in the new safe zone that the dungeon slaves told everyone about.

RedFox: Yes, they stayed in the Safe Zone. They wanted to rest and recover their strength after the Water Temple.

Ambassador: The dungeon slave overseeing the safe floor strongly suggested that we do so, and, so far, that has proven to be the correct decision.

Domino: Ooh, we haven’t gotten to the new floor yet. I’m interested to see how it looks.

RangerMiguel: The Demon allowed us to watch the Ambassadors challenge the floor. Think of all the horror movies you’ve seen, and now patch them together.

ImAPally: How tough can it be, though? A lot of the horror movies I’ve seen aren’t really all that scary.

Crusader: Maybe not when you’re watching on a TV screen, Pally, but when you find yourself living it, that can be different.

Salty: How would you know? You haven’t been in the dungeon again, have you?

Crusader: No! Never again. But I know the bastard, and he’s twisted enough to put all the worst parts of horror movies together and make you go through it.

Crusader: Also, I got to speak to the soldiers after they made their way out of the dungeon. They came to the chapel for… consultations.

Id10t: Man, I saw those guys when they came out of the dungeon. They were fucking broken.

Anonymous3: I was in Iraq, back in the first Gulf War. Saw people come back looking like they did. Don’t know what they went through, but they for sure saw too much action in the dungeon.

AsaAkiraisBae: Yeah, you see the same thing on the old war videos, when someone spent way too long in the jungle in Vietnam.

Anonymous4: Wouldn’t be surprised if the soldiers get some extended medical leave after this.

Salty: Which begs the question, if trained soldiers ended up like that, what the hell happened to them in there?

Temptation: Let’s just say that they made some mistakes early on, and it cost them, making them make more mistakes, and so on, until they were forced to take multiple deals before they even reached the Black Temple.

LatinHeat: Fuck.

Ambassador: It would seem that the Demon is really quite good at breaking people’s spirits. If our group weren’t so completely overpowered for a young dungeon, we would likely have been forced into tighter corners than we were.

VenusFlyTramp: Woah, what did the dungeon have in it that could affect you guys? I thought all you aliens born with the system were much higher level than we were?

Ambassador: Neither Fimaazro nor Dogik can swim.

Aegis: Oh, damn. That’s a tough hurdle to cross, considering the Water Temple is all about swimming.

HurricaneGal: How did you get through it? You had to have some way, right?

DoYouWantMe: Yeah, you have to have some majorly better gear than we do, right? I bet with your magic you wouldn’t even need to get wet!

DarkEnchanter: The floor doesn’t let you use that kind of magic. That’s what makes it so difficult.

Ambassador: Indeed. We ended up accepting the temporary curses in order to keep from swimming around the outer temple. The curses, while annoying, allowed us to get to the temple itself. Unfortunately, we were stuck there.

Salty: How did you get stuck?

Ambassador: One of the curses turned me into a golem. And the door into the Temple was most certainly NOT golem sized.

Temptation: So they made a minor little deal.

Crusader: There’s no such thing as a ‘minor little deal’ with you.

Temptation: Now, now. When someone isn’t trying to piss me off, I can actually be quite generous in how I set the prices.

RangerMiguel: At any rate, the undead floor is perhaps the most relentlessly grueling floor in the dungeon.

TsundereHealer: So, what was the reason for the Ambassador’s group suddenly going off and checking the dungeon?

Scholar: The Ambassadors are both dungeon researchers in their spare time, and the dungeon in the Everglades is most certainly a unique dungeon.

Temptation: Yep! Can’t say too much more, of course, but suffice to say that they had questions they wanted answered, and their presence allowed me to find a few new interesting things I wanted to do.

BestGirl: Like what?

Temptation: Well, now I can access the Dungeon Exchange Network.

Crusader: That doesn’t sound good.

Backpage: I dunno. Could be interesting.

BestGirl: What does that mean?

Temptation: Think of it like the Auction House in many games, but catering to dungeons all across the galaxy.

BestGirl: Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

SwiftTaylor: Careful, the Demon would consider that a challenge.

Crusader: Taylor, what have we said about giving that bastard ideas?

SwiftTaylor: *sighs* ‘Don’t’.

Domino: Nothing good will come of this.