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holleringelk
holleringelk

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"System Overload" [Mini Comic]

YOOOOOUUUUUUU

YOUR SEX IS ON FIYAAAH

"System Overload" [Mini Comic] "System Overload" [Mini Comic] "System Overload" [Mini Comic] "System Overload" [Mini Comic] "System Overload" [Mini Comic] "System Overload" [Mini Comic]

Comments

scrumpt. 😭 i'm only using this from now on

blyatbrat

Only saw the updated version. Perfect.

Gothic Crow

"Hey baby, does the carpet match the drapes?" "I am a fan of arson, so SOMETIMES!"

Daniel Gore

Seen the before and after... I think a bit of subtle smoldering on #4 would do wonders for clarity. And a bit of yellow on #5. But that's just IMO, it does look like fire.

Lane Anderson

Reading the description helped me get the joke. 😆 But, real talk, did Viv's leg get burned by the freaky-vampire-crotch-fire? Because a burn to the back of the knee sounds hella inconvenient....

Mari

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT

albsmalbs

Looks clearer to me now! 🔥

Lynnie Beep

New meaning to fire crotch

the.adhd.tiger

Well I feel honored

Jesuwig

Definitely fire! Gives new meaning to the term hot pants.

Alex Lilly

Managed to get it revised pretty quickly! Should look a lot better now.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Hey Alex! Should look a lot better now.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Fixed!

Caroline Catlett Gates

You and Neil are the patrons of the month. I shall place your usernames in a cute little frame and hang it in my studio.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Yay I helped! Boo I caused a panic

Jesuwig

Oh you absolutely did, and it ended up saving the comic before it went public hahaha

Caroline Catlett Gates

I appreciate the fix, wasn’t trying to cause a panic 😅

Jesuwig

Okay, it should look like an actual fire now, haha.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Should be a loooot better now, just updated the panel. Not perfect, but will have to do haha.

Caroline Catlett Gates

The 3rd Panel is me when my gf is cooking in undies and i am Just Standing there resisting the urge xD (the kitchen ist super small and i May Not Help :c)

Birnen Bruder

Okay, finally got that final panel fixed! It should be swapped by the time the rest of y'all view this comic. :D

Caroline Catlett Gates

Ha! Can you imagine.

Caroline Catlett Gates

You could always just add a fun arrow that says "This is fire" lol

Crackerjam

At first I thought Ellie had snapped Viv's leg and it was blood, then I thought it was a centipede burst. I had to read the title to get it. I think if there was some yellow and orange it would read more fire and less bloody 😅

Lynnie Beep

Got a ton of suggestions here in the comments and in the chat, and working up to figuring out how to revise that without spending another 2 hours on the panel haha.

Caroline Catlett Gates

A+ comic but yeah, like other people I feel like that last panel needs some clarification. Maybe just a change in how the fire looks?

Crackerjam

I think if the flames were a little less blood red and more golden/orange, the joke would land immediately.

Ondi Gottesman

Okay, good to know, that's about what the patrons in the chat are saying. I am going to considering moving that around before a public drop. Thanks!

Caroline Catlett Gates

Ok I asked for a second opinion with zero context and I guess cause the fire overlaps with Viv's hamstring, it does look a bit like her hamstring spontaneously combusted/exploded. But once I said no, their next guess was 'centiboner', lol.

Alex Lilly

I couldn't quite tell if that was blood, or Ellie suddenly unable to control a centipede burst/transition, or fire, but when I read the title I got it!

Lulu

also, is this how they coined the term "hot pants" lol

blyatbrat

No, you're fine! I always encourage that. Getting a lot of insight over on the chat as well. I'm unable to revise it at this time, but they can't always be perfect, haha.

Caroline Catlett Gates

i got it immediately once i realised it was fire and not blood 😭

blyatbrat

Everyone is very divided in the chat on the last panel. Some are saying it clicked right away even without the title ref and some it did not land, haha. Still deciding if it'll go up publicly.

Caroline Catlett Gates

I guess I'm the only one that read the caption and immediately understood what was happening? Lol. She was never gonna make it to the other leg.

Alex Lilly

Sorry, that was unsolicited advice. My bad!

Daniel Gore

Christ, fuck, haha. I am about to delete this.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Oh no, I didn't get the punchline until I read your caption. Then I laughed 🤣

Alex Z

Better than a fart lit on fire

Grond112358

I placed it directly in front of her crotch and had hoped that would work. The dialog was also meant to imply she was already in a state before the last panel. Win some, lose some!

Caroline Catlett Gates

I think if you scooted Eli back a little further away it would make it more clear where the fire is coming from? Or if you had a single frame of smoke leaking from her pants before the fire explodes? Or if the fire had black smoke rather than red with red? It kinda looks like blood, on less that is what you were going for lol

Daniel Gore

Also, there will never be a fart joke in my comics. Not really my style, haha.

Caroline Catlett Gates

This isn't good. I had thought the second panel made it very clear what was happening to her, lol.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Definitely my first thought

Shawn

Did her damndest

Caroline Catlett Gates

This comic is not translating right at all hahaha. Hell.

Caroline Catlett Gates

Are y'all being funny or did I completely fuck up this comic haha

Caroline Catlett Gates

Poor thing she tried lol

Eros Makepeace

is this the fire crotch I've heard about?

Corkers

Lol, what lmao. No that is not a fart.

Caroline Catlett Gates

I definitely thought she just broke her leg and blood was shooting out at first. The "your sex is on fire" made what was actually happening click haha

Daniel Gore

"You, uh... You need an ointment for that?"

Shane Openo

Is that a fart? Or worse? Or… better?

Jesuwig


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