Ask Ms. Jessica Issue 29 – Mutant Pay and Employment

 (The content for Ask Ms. Jessica comes from real questions from real people sent to AskMsJessica@gmail.com)

Ms. Jessica,

How are multi-headed, conjoined, and multi-bodied mutants handled in the workplace as far as pay goes? Are they paid singular salaries, one for each head or something more in the middle?

Haha, once again this is a little out of my wheelhouse as a biology teacher, but this is something that every mutant girl has to know growing up, so I can give you advice.

Once again I cannot speak for every country, but for our country you are paid specifically for the job you are doing, not based on how many people are conjoined.

So, for example, let’s say you are a conjoined mutant and you are doing the job of a construction worker. If you are only doing the labor that one human being would do, you get paid only one salary. Now let’s say you are a conjoined mutant and you work at a call center for tech support. You might be able to do the work of two people, answering two phones, fixing two computers at once, etc. Therefore, you would be paid two wages, one for each person in the fusion. 

Note that this also means that you don’t have to be conjoined to get increased wages either! Let’s say you have multiple limbs and you work that construction job I mentioned earlier. If your multiple limbs allow you to do the equivalent of more than one human’s worth of work, then you’ll get paid two salaries, even if you aren’t conjoined! This is called the “human wage standard” and it’s currently considered the fairest way to pay mutants.

Of course, this is going to vary from country to country, but I certainly wouldn’t want to live anywhere that doesn’t abide by it. There are some horror stories out there of mutants getting worked to death and being paid mere pennies. Yikes!

Dr. Jessica Park

AskMsJessica@gmail.com