2021 retrospective and the future

I don't think I can find the correct way to start this post, I didn't even think about this until last night, but that doesn't mean that the decisions I'm making are a thing of the moment, in the contrary: it's just the natural result, and looking back at this year I'm hoping you can see my point

It is not an exaggeration when I say that 2021 was probably one of the hardest years of my life, and not just from a professional point of view: emotionally and politically it's been really exhausting.

In case you don't know (which is surprisingly very usual) I'm from Chile, a country at the south of south america that has been in constant political turmoil for a good couple of years by now, and this year was not only the chance for a change with the presidential election, I was also summoned to work on it, assisting in the overall voting process and while now that I have experience (since I had to go three times) and I developed a certain appreciation for the overall process I can't deny it was a big source of stress, leaving me with close to zero energy to work at all in the weeks prior an election. Thankfully everything went the best possible route in the end, and I can say that I can see the future of my country with hope (and not to mention that it feels great knowing that our future president doesn't want to take away my rights or despise my whole existence)

Personal life haven't been the best either, if you remember I had to take a break during May, and while the reason I gave you all back then was very real (I was overwhelmed with work and I really needed to not end up hating art itself, as I have seen many friends and creators) it was not the only factor: I needed some time away to do a deep introspective, there was something off with me, I always felt it, but I couldn't properly put it into words and I used that month to work on it, and believe me I'm glad I did! I have talked about it in my social media but I'm not sure if I addressed it here properly: After that time off I realized that the reason I never felt completely comfortable with myself is just that I am not what the world told me to be: I'm not a man, neither a woman, I'm non-binary.

You don't know how liberating it feels to be able to say it. it felt like a huge weight was lifted form my back and I can finally be honest about myself... but it also made me feel a bit ashamed, I felt like I lied to all of you, so it was hard to talk about it (it took me nearly a whole other month to talk about it with anyone) but nowadays I'm happy I took that break, emotionally I am at a better place, better than ever, because now I know who I am.

Now, going to what has a direct connection with all of you: my work. If you are an old supporter you most likely realized that this year has been a constant struggle, trying to find the right and healthy way to do things, swallowing my pride and accepting that I just can't do everything that I want has been hard, really hard, and yet I have been too prideful and stubborn to fully accept it until now.

Let's see what changes I have done: I changed the benefits of the lowest tiers because I just wasn't valuing my work properly. I limited the amount of characters per poll to only 4 (exceptions have been done), and I decided to take a month off from regular activities to catch up with work... which didn't really work in the end.

I never felt comfortable with that decision. This year has been feeling like a constant race against myself: every time I finish some work there is always more drawings to draw, if it isn't poll results its the request. To give you an idea of the workload I have every month here are some numbers: each month I have to make 10/11 requests + 7(aprox) drawings as poll results + 2~4 for suggestions, that means a minimun of 20 drawings per month, if I did one drawing per day I'd be left with close to zero time to make personal drawings (considering breaks and personal life things too)

I considered many ways to solve this: stop doing polls or request, or just stopping making any activity and just leave my patreon as a general support one and only draw whatever I want... but that is not what I want, at least not for now or in the future.

I want to keep doing those activities, I love reading all of your requests and see how excited you can get over a poll result, but I have to swallow my pride and just accept I don't have the energy to do all of that at once every month, so I have decided that starting 2022 I will only do one per month. 

The reason this post is a poll is because I want to know your opinion and help me decided which of these activities I will do first: Polls or Request (suggestions will remain the same) the activity that get more votes will be done in January, the other in February and so on.

You can vote until January 9th (while this poll is available to all patrons, do keep in mind that the benefits of each tier will not change) and just for the record, the time to send your requests or vote on polls will now be until the last day of every month

I hope you can understand why I'm making this change and I can keep counting with your support in this new year, let's hope it's a better one, because I surely do!