Chapter 25: Saving Murderous Damsels

Axel didn’t wait to see if the alchemist understood. He turned back, rushing to help Lune.

One of the assisting maidens was already dead, trapped in the Troll King’s grip, her fists feebly beating against the beast’s arms. She let loose a final scream as the King crushed her spine in his hands, before swallowing her entire body whole.

Lune was badly wounded. One of her arms looked to have been ripped off, and even the Health Potion could not fix that up immediately. Her remaining Maiden looked relatively fine, but fatigue and despair had clearly claimed them.

The myriad of spilt acid, grenade scorch marks, and broken blades littered on the ground told him they had tried everything, but all failed against the King’s regeneration. 

The Troll Boss looked perfectly unwounded.

The pair of Eldarin dodged a whirling flurry of halberd swings. Lune was too slow to evade a feint, and the slash took her in the chest.

Blood poured, the crimson deluge flecked with alien blackness. The maiden immediately rushed in to save her, but in her haste, she failed to see the King’s speeding blade. 

The decapitated maiden stumbled two more steps before she fell to the ground.

Lune’s expression had given way to resignation. She looked up as the shadow of the King fell over her.

“Worthless wretch,” the Troll sneered. “Your Father would be so disappointed. To give the Tyrant due respect, I shall not present to him your defiled corpse. Not that there would be anything recognisable left of you once all of us are through with your—!”

The Troll King did not finish. A thrown spear impaled into his neck and slammed its way out through his mouth, shattering teeth.

Axel roared as he came in like a meteor, wielding a giant troll club and hammering it straight into its head.

The force tore off the top half of the Troll King’s head, leaving only the lower jaw. Axel leapt over the headless body.

Lune watched with wide eyes as he landed before her.

“Time to go, princess!” he yelled before scooping her weakly protesting form over his back.

The Troll King gave a guttural roar, its skull already half regenerated. Axel swore as he narrowly dodged a halberd swing and ran.

“Fucking… fool… Why did you…Come back?” Lune mumbled, barely conscious. She tried beating his back, but her remaining arm was weak and slicked with her blood. “We can’t win… I should kill you…”

Axel howled maniacally, loud and wild. “I’ll give you a turn later, princess! Consider it payment for my earlier cowardice. But first, I need a favour!”

The ground was shaking. The enraged roars of the Troll King were accompanied by a stampede of lesser trolls, though the horde was no less maddened than their King.

Axel glanced behind. He was faster than they were, now with Heroic Isolation still pushing his stats up, but he could not run forever.

Fortunately, the ravine entrance was just up ahead.

It was narrow; not small enough to prevent the troll’s passage, but good enough to stop more than three coming in side-by-side at once.

The last maiden was there. She had yet to leave, doubtless unwilling to do so without her mistress. Axel leapt over to her and passed over Lune's barely conscious body. 

From his inventory, he pulled out the Golden Potion he received from the quest reward and forced the contents into her mouth. A second later, Lune coughed to life, a muffled scream escaping her lips as a new arm burst forth from her missing stump.

Her eyes opened. They landed on Axel. The soldier smiled, opened his mouth to say something witty—

—and then promptly jerked backwards to avoid a fatal dagger thrust from Lune aiming for his face.

“You motherfucker!” she snarled. “I should skin you alive for running!”

“Glad to see the insult of maternal copulation persists through the universes!” Axel laughed, eyes euphoric with a lunatic’s joy. “I appreciate your attempts at foreplay, princess, but now is hardly the time!”

“I’ll show you foreplay when I tear off your genitals, you wretched male! You left us to die!” she snarled. Hot tears were coming down her cheeks. “My Maidens, my sisters! How many are left?!”

The smile fell from Axel’s face. “Only one, I’m afraid. I could not save the rest.”

“I’m sorry, my Lady. They are all dead,” the last Venombrew Maiden choked out, her voice breaking. “Mistress, we need to retreat. Victory is impossible.”

“And go where?” Lune despairingly said. “This was our only chance…”

The roars of the encroaching horde echoed her statement. They had seconds left.

“Princess, you want your husband dead?” Axel asked. The statement was ridiculous, and Lune evidently thought as much as her expression turned furious. She whirled upon him.

But then she saw his eyes.

Lunacy. Manic. But beneath the swirling madness dancing in his eyes…

Swimming within silver orbs — the colour of a pale morning light — something flickered. It was not something she had a name for.

But it, inexplicably, made her trust him.

“Yes. I want him dead,” she whispered, almost unconsciously.

He grinned. “Then this Demon promises to see your will done. I only ask that you summon your Workshop Stills at the ravine entrance, and I will do the rest.”

“The Workshop Still— You idiot! That explosion won’t be enough to kill the King! At most, it would only get rid of the lesser trolls!”

“Good enough! Just position it close to the chokepoint!” Time had run out for them. The trolls had reached the ravine entrance, a mere thirty metres from them. 

The lesser minions were up front. The Troll King was behind the horde, eyes glaring with suspicion.

Smarter than it looks. Axel clicked his teeth. That was unwelcome. He needed the King to be right up in front, but clearing the beast wasn’t as stupid as it looked. It could sense a trap, especially with how strangely Axel had been acting.

He needed a way to anger it. ‘1st Place’ was not an option, since he needed that last Title Slot freed. Besides, it might force Lune and her last maiden to attack him too.

Axel needed to piss the Troll King enough to risk its safety and charge forth… But how?

The King was looking past him and at Lune behind, face halfway between a leer and a snarl.

An idea popped into his head, ridiculous and stupid. Axel could not stop the cackles that spilt from his lips.

One snigger soon escalated into a chortle, before breaking into complete howling echoes of madness, as if all sanity had left the man.

The trolls halted, evidently taken aback by the human who started laughing manically in the face of impending doom. Even the Eldarins looked unsure of the man standing between them and the horde.

Axel turned, showing his back to the troll horde. He bent low and grabbed a shocked Lune by the waist.

And then kissed her upon her open lips.

A muffled squeak of indignant shock slipped past her mouth. The maiden beside them made a choking noise.

Even the shuffling of feet from the approaching cluster of trolls grew silent, as if they too were stunned by the display.

When Axel finally brought their lips apart, Lune’s glare was positively furious, while his held only mischief. The blush was heavy on her face. 

At the side of the soldier’s gaze, a notification popped up.

[Entity Stance Updated!]

[Venombrew Alchemist (Lune) Stance towards Enemy Base: Hostile to Neutral!]

The majority of the soldier’s attention, however, was on the Troll King. Its face was at first slackened with shock. Outrage soon took over, building up until a truly monstrous expression was upon him: a face ugly beyond sin, purple with hate.

Axel raised a mocking salute. “Hey, you fat fuck! I’ll be taking your hot wife for myself now! I don’t think she really likes you much anyway!”

The Troll King seemingly grew in size, muscles swelling with rage. When it roared, the nearest Trolls fell over from the sheer force of its scream.

It charged force, its bulk so immense it crushed the first few trolls in front of it to paste before the rest frantically got out of the way.

Axel summoned his weapons. His smile was too wide; his eyes shone too brightly.

Here and now, I am alive.

“Alright, you fucker! You and me, LET’S DANCE!”