[Commission] A young woman's scientific endeavors 1

When Tanya von Degurechaff died, she took a risk. When Being X came to her, in her last moments, when the world stood still… she ran. Nowhere in particular, just… away. 

Having taken that risk, she was beginning to think that she may have attributed more to Being X’s intervention than was proper, in her second life. Because it worked. She ended up being born again, in a third life. …and Being X has been trying to kill her the entire time. Transparently so. Surviving a number of random accidents in her center europan orphanage that beggared belief. 

That wasn’t to say that he was doing a bad job. The various falling objects that somehow manage to be positioned just right to splatter her head were very lethal. It was just… sloppy. 

Still, when Tanya (no last name) was eight, Count von Degurechaff (which was a coincidence that Tanya really should have seen as the Being X trap that it was) conscripted half of the orphanage as pilots to his ‘Orphan-powered War Clank’ regiment. 

One advantage was that the orphanage had basically no education beyond basic work training, from sending the older ones to work in fields, encouraging adoption by artisans who desire apprentices, or just teaching the little girls skills that were desired in a wife. Count von Degurechaff put all of the conscripts through a basic primer on how to read, just enough to be able to sound out words and also teaching vocabulary that they would be expected to know to understand their orders. 

The other advantage was that Tanya was one of the older children among the conscripts, so she was able to wrangle the pilots into something vaguely resembling discipline. “Boiler check!” Tanya shouted over the radio as the squad patrolled. There were thirteen total pilots and fourteen mechs, and usually only seven of them were deployed at a time. As the number of things that could fall on her head vastly reduced while inside her mecha, or “clank”, she usually took on a lot more hours than the others. There used to be a fourteenth pilot that was also named Tanya, but Tanya wasn’t entirely sure that Count von Degurechgaff noticed the death, or if he just thought that both of the Tanyas on his list appointed themselves as the Sergeants. 

“Good!” “Okay!” “Sluggish!” “Nice!” “Okay!” “Optimal!” Oh, drat. 

“Steve, what are your gauges?” Tanya asked, frowning. 

“Pressure is two notches below green, water’s at a quarter, heat’s barely in green.” Steve reported. 

“The damned minions skipped your clank.” Tanya spat, diagnosing the problem. Proper maintenance was essential, although it’s possible the minion was just sloppy instead of skipping it altogether. But the job title of the maintenance worker was ‘minion’ which understandably lowered their morale. That short-sighted decision was causing her problems, though. “Alright, swap positions with me, take it easy. If we’re lucky, you’ll make it back to base.”

“Yes, Sergeant.” Steve said over the radio. 

What kind of missions did the Clank Squad take on? Mostly, they stomped around behind the tax collector’s carriage and intimidated the peasantry into paying up. Was this actual tax collection and not literal banditry? Tanya didn’t know. On one hand, the ‘tax collection’ certainly seemed indistinguishable from a protection racket, and sometimes it resembled outright robbery. On the other hand, no one seemed to dispute Count von Degurechaff’s title, and even he had a Baron he reported to, a ‘Baron von Wulfenbach’ (it was a little strange that a Count was reporting to a Baron, but she just chalked it up to minor linguistic differences). In the fourth month of their training and six months after that when they were fully operational, a dirigible came to the castle and collected taxes, and the Count paid up instead of, say, ordering his Orphan-powered War Clanks to make an attempt at anti-air fire. 

Now, why did the man decide that orphans were the proper pilots for his mecha? It was simple: The cockpits were cramped. They were reasonably roomy for an eight year old, but Tanya knew that if she even got to the size she died at, she would be too big to fit without getting burned by the hot surfaces that she already had to put effort into avoiding. The boys wouldn’t fit at all. 

Still, if she ignored the blatantly unsafe working conditions, the capricious insanity of the boss, and the need to constantly watch out for things falling on her head, it was about half of the way to being a tolerable job. 

The squad trundled along the trail to the castle, their job almost done. The tax collector was an unpleasant man, a nephew of Count von Degurechaff. His finely waxed mustache and well-tailored suits did nothing to distract from his corpulent frame, as he carried the chest of coins from the merchants at the market. He was accompanied by an entourage of assistants, including a teenage boy carrying an oversized coffee machine on his back. 

No, Tanya was not bitter that he wasn’t allowed to serve the mecha pilots. The coffee wasn’t even that good. It was just annoying that they were supposed to be circumspect about how the “exceptionally intelligent” clanks that could “act independently” were piloted. 

“Monsters!” Shouted one of the scouts, galloping back to the column on his horse. “Big ones!”

The younger von Degurechaff harrumphed. “A distraction from my vital mission.”

One of his flunkies coughed. “Uh, sir? Perhaps we should send another scout to confirm the numbers?”

“Too late!” Shouted another. “They’re coming!”

The monsters in question were snot green, with spikes breaking up their silhouette as they charged, lumbering masses of muscle. There were… twenty-ish of them. 

“Firing positions!” Tanya ordered her subordinates. The large ‘Clank Guns’ that the mechas were issued were pretty powerful, designed to be strong enough to destroy enemy armor. These monsters didn’t look like they would put up much of a fight in comparison. “Steve, Sarah, watch the flanks.”

“Yes Sergeant!” Tanya grinned. Good, they could keep the fear out of their voices. They couldn’t be expected to meet the standards set by her 203rd, but sometimes they managed it anyway. 

Once the mecha had spread out enough to form a firing line that didn’t include friendly fire, Tanya gave the command. “Fire!” The metal of her mecha insulated her, a bit, from the staccato sounds of the clank guns as they tore through the monsters. They blew apart like snot balloons, leaving a slimy substance instead of proper gore. 

In this world, such incidents were common. Not that the monsters were natural, but what Tanya would consider proper technological development was retarded by insane geniuses, known as ‘Sparks’. They could theoretically make reasonable advancements to technology, but generally preferred to slap together genetically engineered or mutated monsters or autonomous clanks or whatever and then attempt to destroy others over minor slights and seize power to appease their megalomania. 

Even worse, more often than not, these Sparks ended up destroying themselves with slipshod safety standards, leaving their creations to wander and destroy. That’s when they weren’t killed by other Sparks, of course. 

This was why a squad of seven small mecha was considered proper protection for a tax collector, and not, as Tanya would initially assume, overkill. “Hold fire.” Tanya said once the monsters looked dead. Key word: ‘Looked’. Tanya still kept her gun pointed at the bodies, and her subordinates followed suit. 

“Well, that’s handled.” Said the young von Degurechaff. What was his first name? Bah. 

“This world isn’t sane enough for that to be it.” Tanya said to her subordinates over the radio. “Stay alert.”

As she suspected, the giant snot-like puddle reanimated itself, gathering into a single large blob-like entity. Two gigantic eyes popped open pointed at them, and a toothy maw large enough to swallow any one of the component creatures whole opened up to roar. 

“Fire.” Without hesitation, the guns started belting out more hot death. The giant blob monster was torn up and back to being a twitching puddle before it moved more than ten meters forward, then the puddle suddenly slumped, the viscosity of the material dropping to levels comparable to water. “Hm. Ammo check?”

“Out.” “Out.” “Plenty.” “Out.” “Out.” “Plenty.” 

She only had about two seconds worth of munitions herself. “Sarah, stay back and keep an eye on this for five more minutes with your gun ready before catching up. Steve, protect the rear. I’ll lead the formation. Everyone else, ready for melee combat.”

“Yes, Sergeant.” Tanya couldn’t help a smile. Her kids were so cute. 

Tanya trundled ahead of the formation, prompting the carriage and the noble’s entourage to start moving again. The other mecha stowed their guns and went through readiness checks on the mecha’s arms, testing range of motion and acclimating themselves to the sensitivity of the controls on this particular sortie. Swinging the mecha’s fists was not the most effective weapon, but it was something that could be done without necessarily breaking something, so until Count von Degurechaff bothered to equip his “War Clanks” with a backup weapon, it would suffice. 

She had trained her children well. 

-------------------------

Of course, in month fifteen of her new career as a mecha pilot, there was a disaster. One man of superhuman constitution and the charisma of a folk hero decided that the Count, despite being to all appearances the legitimate government, was evil and had to die. 

He waited for an opportune moment, of course. Not a time when the defenses were at their weakest, like a sane person, but instead when all of the Count’s military forces were gathered for a briefing in preparation for the semiannual inspection by the Baron’s forces. 

“HAHAHAHA!” Shouted the madman as he fired a stolen Clank gun in the face of the mecha. Smartly, the Count decided to position his strongest force, the ‘Orphan-powered War Clanks’, to defend him directly, as it gave all of them enough time to sortie. It took less than a minute from them finally getting into position for the enemy to breach the audience chamber, having torn apart the majority of the heavy defenses. While Tanya assumed there were some survivors among troops that merely stepped aside from fear, she had no way of knowing for sure. 

Unfortunately, singular enemies that are fast enough to outmaneuver them was not something that was not accounted for in her children’s training, so they defaulted to their priorities, number two being ‘don’t shoot your allies’. So they mostly just froze up. “Melee, melee!” Tanya shouted into the radio as she started shooting at the man. She has the skill to avoid friendly fire. “Fuck you!” She shouted without the radio, probably not loud enough for anyone to hear. Gouges were torn from the mecha the enemy leapt off of, but it was of no consequence: Julia was already dead. 

“Oh ho? Looks like one of your Clanks isn't so smart after all!” The man said proudly. “The anti-friendly fire protocols you’ve installed are quite impressive, but if these were properly stupid, I’d be Swiss Cheese by now!” His jovial expression hardened. “Now, to destroy your abominable creations!”

Ugh, she knew that the ‘pretend the mecha are just clanks with good AI’ was crazy. The man proceeded to steal another gun off the ground and, practically ignoring the recoil, killed each and every one of them. 

Quickly, Tanya put her own in shut down mode, playing dead after one of the decorative gargoyles fell on top of her mecha. With that, she had a front-row seat to the drama. 

“So, you may have destroyed my Orphan-Powered War Clanks, but now you’ll di-urk.” Count von Degurechaff’s ranting was interrupted by the hams at the end of the large man’s arms gripping his face and pulling him up. 

“You are a monster.” The madman said, “All Sparks are, but it is only now that I realize how monstrous you are. Using Orphans to run your clanks? What, did you put their brains in canisters?” He spat. “It is an injustice that I, Othar Trygvassen, GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER! Will now correct.” 

Count von Degurechaff died simply of a broken neck. Othar looked over the wreckage. “Job well done. Those poor souls are in a better place.” No, they aren’t. She knows that for certain. “Now, to go announce to the villagers that the vile tyranny of Count whatever his name is has been ended. Then, on to a greater adventure!” He left the room with pep in his step. 

Tyranny? Tyranny? It may have been a feudal government, but the military forces of the government actually kept the area safe from random monsters and stray war clanks operating on long-obsolete instructions. And his solution was to just… kill the guy in charge and let anarchy reign? 

After killing her children? Her men? It crashed on her suddenly, the realization that they were all dead. She was alone, again. Losing everyone she was supposed to protect and lead, for the second time. 

Not again. Why? “Damn you, Being X.” But she knew that he didn’t have anything to do with it. Probably. It was the bastard Count who decided that he wanted child soldiers who was the one at fault. 

But the only one left to take revenge on… was Othar. 

What was that buzzing? Was it… music? “He will pay.”

-------------------------

[Airman first class, Axel Higgs]

It was supposed to be a routine bit of tax collection.

Hm, how often do things have to go awry before you can’t call it routine anymore? Half? One in three? 

Axel supposed it didn’t matter. All he was supposed to do was to attend to the wheel. Even if there is a spot of trouble, the Baron’s decided to do a ‘random inspection’ of Count von Degurechaff’s novel clanks, so he was here personally, incognito. 

It admittedly made him a bit nervous. If anyone could notice that he wasn’t what he seemed, Klaus would be the one. Fortunately, he knew what he was doing when it came to being sneaky. Everyone’s nervous when ‘The Boss’ is around, so being too calm would be suspicious. It worked out. 

The castle’s gates were broken open, but from the inside. A trail of destruction led to the village nearby, and there was an active battle. A giant clank fought something much smaller, much more fluidly than any clank he had ever seen before. Hm, that didn’t sound like the clanks that Mr. Fancy Pants described to the Baron. Too big. 

“Fascinating.” Klaus said as he looked down at the battle. Axel had a pretty good view, too. “That thing wasn’t built by one Spark. Or… yes, it was, but out of parts built by a second. Multiple clanks lashed together? But it’s so smooth…” 

“Herr Baron? Your orders?” The Baron’s aide prompted. 

Klaus ignored them. “Where’s the control… Ah. No, wait, that’s a decoy. The real one is… there.” His eyes widened. “It’s piloted…” His expression soured. “Which means we can’t be too rough or we’ll kill the spark.”

Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for his cover, the Baron didn’t have any instructions for Axel beyond holding position, as he had ruled out aerial bombardment. So he got to watch the other Jagermonsters deploy alongside Klaus to the town and have some fun fighting a giant clank, like the good old days. Oddly, Klaus ended up picking the side of the mecha rather than whoever it was fighting, and once the target was taken prisoner, the mecha calmed down, instead taking out a standard clank gun to execute the prisoner. Klaus put a stop to that, tearing through the mech with a wrench and a prybar until he captured the pilot. 

Just another day in the Baron’s service. 

-------------------------

[Tanya]

Ugh. Her head. What happened? The last thing she remembered was… Ah. she decided to go kill Othar. What an embarrassing lapse in judgment. If she couldn’t kill him with her men, why did she think she had any better of a chance without them? That’s the kind of thinking that pushed the Bloody Valkyrie to her death. 

Wellness check. Hm, she appeared to still be nine years old. At least her lapse in judgment didn’t get her killed this time. Being X has been foiled again. She was dressed in contemporary, as in Victorian era, smallclothes in some kind of bedroom, with… three other occupants who are also children, from the size of the beds. Girls, from the presence of a vanity with two small stools in front of it. These were not the filthy rags that she was wearing inside the mecha, and by the feel of her hair when she runs her hand through it, she has been washed with proper soap, and possibly conditioner. 

Tanya was used to having aches and pains from riding in that slipshod mecha, but was there anything new? …No, nothing ached that indicated anything nefarious. Some of those soldiers that were allowed to know they exist… It was a reasonable concern. Hm… actually, her bruises seemed to have been given some kind of medicine, running her finger over the one on her elbow had a subtle texture of the remnants of a dried cream of some kind, applied four hours ago. She was oddly certain of that estimate. 

So what conclusion should she draw? Obviously, she failed to kill Othar. Or, perhaps, she succeeded and then passed out. Hm. Not so obvious then. Given the Wulfenbach sigil on the wallpaper, the Baron’s men clearly found her and took her to… somewhere where there are other children. She’d assume an orphanage, but she had trouble imagining an orphanage so well funded. 

Perhaps this was some kind of dormitory? Did they drop her off at a boarding school? …Yes, that seems to be the most logical conclusion, a room with four child-sized beds but rich decor? It fits. Very generous of the Baron. She’ll have to make the most of it. 

A quick inspection of the area turned up a few pieces of clothing in her size. Most of which were far fancier than she knew how to put on, if they were even designed to be put on without help. With some rummaging, she was able to find some coveralls and a shirt that seemed to go with it, along with a pair of boots. 

Fully clothed, she went to the door, opened it, and… ducked as something flung itself very fast right into her face. Fortunately, her reflexes, honed by years of watching for falling objects, were sufficient to avoid the obstacle. “Oops.” Said a boy sheepishly. He was sitting at a table, with the remains of an exploded clockwork contraption atop it. He had red hair in an unnatural shade and glasses. 

“Tarvek!” Said another boy angrily. “You almost hit her! Von Pinn’s going to murder you.” The red-headed boy flinched, and looked around in fear for the dreaded von Pinn. The boy who spoke turned to Tanya. “Hi! I’m Gilgamesh Holzfaller, are you okay?”

“...I’ll be fine.” Tanya said carefully. Looking around, ‘dormitory’ was definitely the impression she was getting. There were many children of various ages, several were reading, some were playing card games, but they were all… living. Going about their lives. 

A redheaded girl, one with an actually sane shade, came up and threw her arm around Tanya’s shoulder. “Hey! It’s the new girl! Just so you know, those are my overalls you’re wearing. You’re welcome to them.” She held out her other hand. “My name’s Sleipnir O’Hara.” She had an accent that easily placed her from Ireland… whatever it’s called in this world. Come to think of it, she never did learn what that place was called in her second life. “What’s your name?”

“Tanya von Degurechaff.” Said someone who strode into the room with purpose. She was a blonde woman with an intimidating presence, dressed in a black leather dominatrix outfit. From how everyone else flinched at her entrance, young Tarvek most of all, Tanya suspected that this was von Pinn. “She is the last survivor of the von Degurechaff estate. Her Spark is confirmed, and a Regent has been appointed for her until she becomes of age.” The severe woman turned to Tanya. “Correct?” 

Tanya immediately nodded. She wasn’t quite sure what was going on, but taking Count von Degurechaff’s job seemed like a good deal to her. The primary question was if this was an actual mistake, or a polite fiction. This kind of coincidence did seem up Being X’s alley, but what was the trap? Well, either way, it didn’t seem wise to contradict her. “Yes. My name is Tanya von Degurechaff. I will be in your care.” 

“I’m glad we understand each other.” von Pinn said, pleased. Her voice had an oddly mechanical undertone to it, like metal scraping against itself. Was she a construct? “I am von Pinn, the primary caretaker of all children aboard Castle Wulfenbach.” So that explains where they were. Wait, ‘aboard’? “I will be ensuring that you are safe, and that you understand proper behavior.” She gave Tanya a gimlet eye. “Do not think to test me, or you will experience the many punishments I have for disobedient children. Do you understand?”

“Completely.” Tanya said, hairs standing back on her neck. This woman oozed danger, like a pudding bag full of knives. Hopefully her own children weren’t quite as terrified of her as these children were of this nanny. She may owe Visha another apology. At least she did better the second time around. Until the end. 

“Good.” She turned to the other children. “Mathematics lessons in ten minutes, children. Do not be late.” von Pinn turned around and left the room the way she came. 

The silence was broken by Tarvek. “I didn’t know that Count von Degurechaff had an heir.” He seemed suspicious. 

“I was a secret.” Tanya said, thinking quickly. “You may have heard of his ‘special’ War Clanks?”

“Who hasn’t?” asked a dark-skinned boy. “Theopholous DuMedd, by the way.”

“Well, with his expiration, the secret’s out: they were piloted.” Tanya revealed, scoffing. “He took orphans and had them pilot them. I led them, trained them in tactics. Kept them alive.” It was always easier to lie when you danced around the truth. 

“He put control over his strongest unit to someone he trusted, who was promised power.” Said an accentless Chinese girl. Another, identical girl nodded seriously. “Foolish, but I can see the logic.”

And yet, he didn’t even meet those low standards. “Anyway, that idiotic zealot killed them all, but I somehow managed to survive and woke up here.” Tanya shrugged. “So you’re all caught up.”

With her story explained to an adequate level, the children started to amble their way to the classroom, where mathematics awaited. With nothing better to do, and assuming that she was, if not required, at least welcome to attend, Tanya followed them. 

-------------------------

Of course, being in a giant dirigible protected by a literal army, one of the strongest military forces in the continent, did not mean that Being X was helpless to work against her. 

For one, lab accidents had an unnerving tendency to seek her out to become collateral damage. It paid to be attentive to safety procedures. 

Second, the reason that Castle Wulfenbach was protected so thoroughly was because it was a gigantic target. Taking it out would leave large swathes of Europa without central governance, although in a feudal system that wasn’t quite as large of a problem as it sounded. 

There were many laboratories aboard the castle, with many dangerous experiments. On one hand, it meant that there were many redundancies and safeties available. On the other hand, there were dangers that required such extreme precautions. 

So Tanya decided to make some preparations of her own. With some effort, she managed to find an unused area with a non-obvious entrance that wasn't on any maps. She actually found five places that weren't on maps, but only one that was both unused and in a place she could get to regularly. 

It was surprisingly easy to escape the notice of the minders. Most of the children tended to explore the castle when left idle, lying to people by saying they were given a punishment duty whenever they needed to move in places they were not otherwise allowed to be. 

Tanya decided to put up signs in the areas near her new workshop that declared the area closed due to a glitter moth infestation. It was out of the way, so few people noticed the signs at all, and those that did stayed far away. The liberal application of glitter in areas that weren't an obtuse, carefully cleaned, path to her workshop dissuaded the curious. The sight of the Jagermonsters falling over themselves to avoid the glitter was a fond memory. 

She used gloves when handling the glitter, of course. Safety first. 

It didn't take long in her stint as a political prisoner to confirm for herself that she held the Spark. Mathematics and science came easily to her now, merely looking at a machine was enough to Intuit what each visible piece affected, and her ability to visualize complex concepts has vastly increased. It was said that a human could only hold seven things in their head at once, but while she had no idea what the Spark was, clearly it increased that number by a great deal. 

It didn't, however, mean that she could always put what she saw so clearly in her head into words. 

“Oh, that's normal.” Tarvek said, thumbing through an academic journal like he wasn't eleven years old. “That's why talks among Sparks usually end up either in a screaming match or a brawl.”

Tanya winced. “Is there a way to alleviate that risk?”

“Academia.” Gil said, reading through the journal that Tarvek had just finished. “An academic paper can use a few thousand words to describe something, possibly making up a few words to do so, and then other Sparks can read it and refer to the paper as a shorthand in discussions.” 

Tanya thought for a moment. “I've got a lot of reading to do.” She had been having a hard time finding more political treatises to read in an attempt to understand this worlds fucked up political landscape. As it turned out, Baron was still a low noble title, Baron von Wulfenbach just refused to promote himself to King or Kaiser… for some reason. Motives attributed to the move varied, from humiliating his vassals, to respect to the crown of the storm king. 

“Here. Start with this one.” Tarvek said, passing her a book. “If you need help with some of the words, ask. You may be destined to be a puppet Countess, but I think you have what it takes to run your lands yourself.” That was quite nice of him to say, although Tanya suspected an ulterior motive. Tarvek was a member of the Sturmvoraus family, one of several cadet branches of the old Storm King bloodline, along with Blitzengaard and Valois (which was the primary branch). At least, according to the books about the Storm King she found. They weren't the most impartial of sources. 

Whether he just wanted to suborn her to his political faction or just liked the idea of the Baron not having a puppet was unclear, but he was only eleven, so his political machinations probably weren't that complicated. 

Nevertheless, it was appreciated. Tanya opened up the book. Oh, she knew this gear system! So Count von Degurechaff didn't invent it… 

-------------------------

Gilgamesh Holzfaller kind of reminded her of Visha. He wasn't nobility, but he had brown hair, was taller than her, was pathetically grateful for any kindness or guidance… and a lot smarter than most would give them credit. That didn’t mean she intended to marry the boy, but… if the matter were forced… Hopefully it won’t come to that. 

“Can I see your clank?” He asked out of the blue right as she was slipping away. 

“What clank?” Tanya asked quickly. Too quickly. 

Gil grinned, rubbing his sleeve on his nose. He was always catching some cold or another, but he tended to recover quickly and was usually non-contagious. Von Pinn kept him sequestered when he was, although Tanya wasn’t quite clear how she knew. “I noticed how you’ve been disappearing, and how you've been taking scrap metal.”

“There is no clank.” Tanya insisted. Clanks were autonomous, not piloted. 

“I checked with Slepnir and the Sun twins, too.” Gil continued, “They don’t know where you go off to either, even at night. Combined with how you’re focusing on studying mechanics when we read, it was a simple deduction.”

“Again, there is no clank.” Tanya repeated. 

“You’re building something.” Gil said, “Tarvek and I agree on that much. I wanna see it.” That explained why he was so obstinate. Tarvek talked him into it. But where is he? 

“...Very well. Come on.” Tanya said, trudging towards her hidden workshop. After a few seconds, she stopped. “Tarvek, I told you last week, do not follow me. My trigger finger is itchy.” She slammed her fist on a loose panel, making it fall down, and pulled out a pistol she had secreted there. “You have five seconds.”

“You warned her I was here.” Tarvek said petulantly as he came into view. 

“Did not.” Gil insisted. 

Tanya put the panel back, but kept the pistol. “Honestly. You think you’re so sneaky.” A side-effect of having Being X’s bad luck curse was that it made her very aware of her surroundings. Breaking through as a Spark only increased this, although it has made her sleep… somewhat difficult. She usually ended up napping in her mecha more often than not. The mecha was completely safe. 

Gil looked at her glitter moth sign angrily. “...I should have known this was a decoy.”

“-and unless you want evidence all over you, step exactly where I step, and take off that overlarge jacket before you come closer.” Tanya commanded, gesturing to Gil’s coat. 

The path to the workshop wasn’t too complicated; after all, she had to navigate it while carrying heavy metal things, but after about four minutes of berating the boys they were all inside. “Woah…” Gil said, impressed. “It looks like the Baron’s drop armor…”

Oh? Well, she supposed ‘mecha designed to survive a terminal velocity impact with the ground’ was an idea that only had so many solutions… “You’ve seen it?” She found herself asking. 

Gil froze and Tarvek slapped him upside the head. “You have to get better at keeping secrets, Gil.” He turned to her. “We get into all kinds of places we’re not supposed to be.” He said proudly. His eyes went back to her own ‘drop armor’. It’s a good name. “There are quite a few differences, but they share certain design choices. Like those propellers on top.”

Tanya hummed. “Well, you’ve seen it.” She said, taking out the lever-key from the holster at the small of her back and opening the thing up. “It’s late, and I want to take a nap before I start my work.” There wasn’t any risk of something killing her if she was inside her mecha. It was too safe for that. 

After she was done with the safety check, she looked through the tinted, reinforced window. Still there… “Go away!” She said through the vox array. She settled onto the bed and pulled the lever to turn it back into a pilot’s chair, bringing the limb controls within reach. She started moving the arms towards the stupid boys. 

“That can’t be it!” Gil said, angry. “Aren’t you gonna show us all the cool stuff you have in there?”

“You owe us a rant.” Tarvek added. 

“Yeah! A rant!” Gil agreed. 

Tanya grabbed both of them with her mecha’s hands. “I am not a stage-villain spark.” She said, very careful to not raise her voice. “I will not be revealing the design details of the Absolute Safety Mecha Mk II. This is where I sleep, and now I have to completely re-work my Glitter Detection Array in order to keep this place safe. Go away, and don’t tell anyone, or I will make you regret it.”

“...Okay.” Tarvek said before Gil could object. “We’ll leave. But we’re going to be talking shop later. I’m a Spark too, you know. Even if Gil isn’t, he does a good job keeping up with the literature. Maybe we can help you make improvements?”

Tanya’s expression softened. “...I think I’d like that.” She admitted. While she was clearly far more mature than them, she admittedly was new to this whole ‘science’ thing. He probably does have useful insights. 

“It’s a date!” Tarvek said mischievously. 

“IT IS NOT!”