The New Ron - Chapter 42

“Tara, crowd control!” Kim barked, snapping her head towards the blond girl even as I began ducking and weaving through the gaggle of rich people. “Keep the civilians out of the line of fire!”

“Oh, line of fire! Did you hear that Eleanor?”

“Oh my, yes! Terribly exciting Jerald!”

I couldn't roll my eyes while I was running, I remember Ron learning that lesson the hard way several years prior, but I wanted to. So badly. Instead, I cut through a group of socialites and landed a kick to the gut of a henchman, knocking one into another just as he was about to snatch a purse from a scandalized woman.

“Ron, mook-duty!” I heard my partner cry.

“Already on it, KP!” I shouted back, performing an acrobatic monkey-leap over two men trying to rush me and pushing them into the fountain behind me in the same motion.

“Bonnie, you-” Kim started.

“Don't you dare touch me! This gown cost more than one of your stupid glowing sticks, you plebeian!” Bonnie screeched, grabbing a chair and throwing it one-handed in a smooth motion at an approaching minion.

“You know what, sure! Keep doing that!” Kim shook her head, making a beeline for Shego.

Well, a beeline for Drakken really, but Shego was – as always – between the two.

“You can't tell me what to do, Possible!” Bonnie replied hotly, kicking out with a pointed shoe and hitting one of the unitard-wearing men between the legs.

Which, even if I knew they wore athletic cups...

Ouch!

“Ah, how like my young nemesis!” Drakken gloated, watching as we dealt with his mooks, Shego waiting to receive Kim. “But for shame! I haven't even explained why I've decided to grace you with my presence yet! Hahahaha-!”

“Oh, can it!” Shego growled, tossing her hair with a flick of her head. “You're just here to rob the rich fucks, right?”

“Shego, please!” Drakken replied, wincing at a momentarily crack in his confidence before he rallied. “We're here to redistribute the wealth! It's a noble pursuit in the face of the unequal distribution of-”

I ducked under a minion's blow, wrapping my arm around theirs and hyper-extending the joint to force them into the path of a stun-stave.

“Redistribute to yourself, right?” Kim asked, her voice deadpan as she stepped over a fallen henchman. “What, your bank account finally run dry?”

Drakken gave her an annoyed look. “If you must know-”

“I told him exactly how much he owed me for getting you two dweebs to help me pull his blue tuckus out from that douche Archer,” Shego growled. “And I don't take checks.”

“Good call,” Kim noted, giving Shego a nod of respect.

Shego blinked, then preened.

“Will people stop interrupting me!?” Drakken screamed, stamping his foot in what was definitely a manly act of protest and not a borderline manchild two seconds away from throwing a hissy fit. “Ah-hem! Yes, anyway! Due to recent financial irregularities, it has come to my attention that... accounts need to be balanced! Yes, that's suitably ominous. And once it came to my attention that you were attending this ostentatious party, I simply couldn't help myself but to spoil your good time, Kim Possible!”

I arm-locked a henchman who'd tried to rush me. “You're stalking our website, aren't you?”

Drakken rounded on me with the fury of an exploding volcano, opened his mouth, and-

“Totally stalking,” Kim nodded, giving the blue scientist a sour look.

Drakken twitched, his anger almost physically deflating as his shoulders drooped and his accusatory finger sagged.

“No offense, Dr. D, but it is kind of weird,” Shego chimed in with a sly smirk. “I mean, I let you off the hook for the whole 'teenage nemesis' thing because she shows up at your schemes, but...”

Turning away from the now-purple mad scientist almost literally shaking from rage, the green-eyed woman threw KP a wink.

“That's it!” Drakken screeched. “No more Mr. Nice Guy-”

I opened my mouth, let it hand for a moment, then shook my head. We'd already fucked with the guy enough for now.

Drakken pulled out a hand-gun sized blaster with a strange orange spiral cone on it. Definitely a weirdo non-lethal super-science gadget. “With this, my truth ray! I will compel each and every member of the world's wealthy elite gathered here to disclose their financial information to me! Bank accounts, passwords, the locations of hidden safes! Once I acquire those records, financial freedom and independence will finally be mine! Hahahahaha!”

The various wealthy elites in question went from looking mildly amused by the entire thing to instantly rather terrified, appalled, and angry.

Very angry.

I sighed, palming my face as I muttered. “Dude, you don't mess with a rich person's checkbook.”

Then one of the men in suits stepped up. “I'll pay you ten million for the rights to your technology, whoever you are!”

My head snapped up as a creeping dread began to seep in.

Several heads snapped towards him as the entire party seemed to pause, Drakken himself blinking in shock. “Ah, I mean...”

It was worse than if he'd just scared a bunch of rich people.

“Fifteen Million!” Another woman stepped forward, glaring and scowling at the first man. “You think I'll let your corner the market on such revolutionary technology, Richards? You've got another thing coming!”

He'd taunted them with something they didn't have.

“Twenty! Twenty million!” The first man, 'Richards,' snapped back.

“I'll bid thirty!” A third man stepped out of the crowd and up to the front of the party.

Slowly, I turned towards Kim. She did likewise towards me.

My redheaded partner gestured first to Drakken and then to the crowd before turning her hands up like she couldn't get a grip on what was happening. I nodded rapidly, looking between the two groups as numbers fell off lips, the total bid going up and up and up.

Shego, still standing in front of Drakken, appeared completely shocked by the turn of events, her mouth working open and closed silently. The man himself, though?

He looked utterly dumbfounded.

Internally, I was...

Confused?

“Fifty! Fifty Million!”

...or, maybe... perplexed?

“Ow-owowowowow!” The dude who's arm I was holding in a lock began whining and I reflexively released the limb.

“Whoa, sorry guy,” I said, backing off and holding my hands up. “Didn't mean to really make it hurt or anything. You okay?”

He grimaced behind his face-concealing goggles as he held his shoulder, but nodded. “Yeah, yeah... I think I'm okay. Just... I'll tag out for this one, okay? Once I get back to base, I'll ice it down.”

“Make sure you use alternating cold and heat,” I advised him seriously. “Too much of either won't let the muscles properly relax.”

“Seventy! I'll bid seventy!”

He stared at me for a moment, then nodded. “Good advice, thanks dude. You're alright.”

I gave him a thumbs up and retreated to Kim's position where she was awkwardly whispering with Shego as she two looked increasingly irate.

“-I just, it's not technically illegal or anything just... all you've done is trespassing! And that's basically a technicality!” Kim hissed.

Shego stepped closer to the redhead and loomed over her with the older woman's slight height advantage. “Yeah, Possible, I don't give a shit about that. The only reason I'm here is because Drakken promised I'd get a chance to throw down with you!”

“With me?” Kim asked, blinking.

Shego growled – almost snarled, “You and your dweeb think we're even from last time around?! Where you threw me around like a piece of carry-on luggage?!”

“I kind of thought you owed us,” Kim glared.

“Eighty!”

“That!” Shego sputtered, her mouth working in silence for a moment. “That and this are two different fuckin' things!”

“Ladies, I hate to interrupt-”

“Dweeb!”//”Ron!”

The two girls rounded on me, fire in their eyes as I interrupted their little verbal spat, but I refused to shy away. Taking a deep breath, I drew on the spirit of a rambunctious monkey who did not give a shit.

“Yes, yes, you're both very pretty,” I replied stoically. “But maybe you can resolve your disagreement after our current crisis?”

Two pairs of green eyes slid along my pointed gesture towards where Drakken was standing, still cluelessly holding up his raygun like a young child who'd been caught mid-prank by a group of adults.

“One Hundred Million!”

“One Hundred and Twenty!”

“Rrrrrrrr-ight,” Kim drawled out slowly, clicking her tongue once as she stared at the ongoing dumpster fire. “Rain check?”

Shego took a deep breath, reaching up to massage the bridge of her nose. “Goddammit, fine. What the fuck's going on here, anyway?”

“Ah... I suppose I should answer that,” Senor Senior Sr. spoke up, walking over to us at his sedate pace. “I'm afraid your blue villain friend has fairly chummed the water for sharks by showing off a piece of technology that is ahead of the curve regarding even custom devices. Tell me, does this 'truth ray' of his actually work?”

“It worked on the hench he tried it on, at least,” Shego shrugged, then looked at Senior full-on and paused. The master-thief frowned thoughtfully. “Do I know you? You seem familiar for an old geezer.”

“I doubt it very much... I am a simple man who prefers my privacy,” Senior chuckled and shook his head. “Decades past, that was a different story, but that is sadly old news. I very much doubt a vivacious young woman such as yourself would have interest in such stories.”

Shego frowned, squinting at him.

“One Hundred and Fifty!” The youthful voice of Junior rang out, making his father slump in annoyance.

“I swear, that boy...” The old man sighed.

“Anyway, what do we do about the Drakken sitch?” Kim asked, interjecting herself back into the center of the conversation.

“Well, if this mad scientist truly does wish to sell his invention for a sum of money...” Senior stated contemplatively. “I could part with, say... three times what is currently being offered to put all of these shenanigans behind us?”

“Assuming he wants to sell...” Shego rumbled, raising her gaze to Drakken and frowning. “I mean, that much money on the table, he'd be an idiot not to...”

I hummed, nodded. “He'll never sell.”

“Not that I enjoy agreeing with the sidekick, but,” Shego took a hissing breath through her teeth, “Nope.”

“Hey guys?” Wade spoke up, his hologram passing through a few people to get to us. “Ooops, sorry about that... uh, anyway, I'm picking up a fast-moving object heading our direction. Looks like a supersonic VTOL on par with what I built. I'm having trouble getting a lock on it, which means it's seriously high-tech, so...”

“Try to hack it?” I asked, shrugging when Wade gave me a level, unimpressed stare. “Hey, whoever it is could be a total moron and leave an access node open.”

The holographic image of the young black genius kept the stare up for a few more moments, then sagged, sighing as he replied. “Yeah, already tried it. Was worth a shot.”

“You got weapons on the VTOL you flew us in on?” I asked instead.

“No, but...” Wade looked speculatively at Shego. “Drakken usually has something mounted on his hovercraft.”

“Wait-wait-wait-” Shego stopped, snorting with laughter as she looked between the three of us. “Is the geek squad actually asking me to shoot somebody down? Little junior heroes?”

“I mean, I was going to ask for a warning shot,” I temporized.

“I suppose I could ask that the island's aerial defenses be activated,” Senor Sr. hummed, then frowned. “Though if it has the same technology in it as the craft your blue friend flew in, that may not be as effective as I would wish. Terrible business, allowing security apparatuses to lapse like that.”

I frowned, feeling like I was missing something. This was already getting too elaborate. There were too many moving pieces. Something just… wasn’t right, like the world had gone off-script.

Which, admittedly, was an especially funny way of putting things for me, personally.

But, here we were, having another peaceful - if awkward - interaction with Shego and Drakken. No fighting. I slowly cocked my head to the side and addressed the black-haired woman. “Was coming here really Drakken's idea?”

Shego and Kim both blinked, turning to look at each other before back to me. “Uh-doy, Stoppable. He's the one who's obsessed with you two.”

I gave her a look at that, then rolled my eyes. “Okay, so did he actually stalk our website or...”

Shego frowned, obviously thinking about it. “He said something about getting an alert or whatever? I dunno', I usually ignore his rants as much as I can. Once you've heard one of them...”

She rolled her wrist and shrugged.

I stared at her, then turned to Kim and raised an eyebrow. “Trap?”

“For Drakken?” Kim asked, blinking as she turned to the mess that the action had devolved into. “But who would-?”

“Someone who wants the truth ray?” I asked, pointing up to Drakken as he cowered before the desirous gaze of the rich shouting ever-increasing sums at him.

“Who would actually want one of Dr. D's shitty inventions?” Shego asked, looking derisively up at her employer.

“Someone who went to the trouble of kidnapping and mind controlling him before wiping his memories?” Wade asked, his holographic head tilting up.

Overhead, a stealth VTOL that, if anything, looked like a more advanced copy of the one Wade had flown us to the island swooped in, piloted by two black-clad figures at the side. The thing was bristling with weaponry, a teenage edgelord's wet dream come true as it prowled through the night sky, its silhouette visible in the absence of light as it eclipsed the stars in its passing.

Then, the side door swung open.

I gasped.

Rufus jumped up onto my shoulder and pointed, jabbering wildly.

“Hell there, teenage heroes!” The red-clad mystery-villain grinned, waving one hand as his other held aloft his weapon of choice. “I'm back!”

“Adrien J. Bowman!” I cried, Rufus joining me in pointing accusingly at the airborne man.

His face instantly fell and his shoulders drooped. “Goddammit, kid! I do not remember being such a little shit when I was your age! Call me Archer! Archer! Got it?”

“How about I call you mincemeat?!” Shego snarled, her hands lighting as a rictus of rage overtook her face. “AAAAAHHH!”

So said, Kim and I grabbed Senior's arms and gently pulled the older man back as the green-eyed villainess began lobbing bolts of plasma at the aircraft above, which-

“A forcefield?!” Wade cried, his holographic eyes widening. “No way!”

As the plasma splashed against the invisible barrier above us, Archer threw his head back and laughed, affecting a surfer bro's accent. “Yes way!”

“Ron, what's going on?” Tara asked, obviously giving controlling the crowd of elites up as a bad job as she jogged over to us.

“GET DOWN HERE AND LET ME BURN YOU ALIVE, YOU FUCK!”

“A villain's villain showed up,” I shouted over Shego's... shouting.

“A villain's villain?” Tara asked, looking between the furious Shego and the grinning Bowman safe behind his shield.

“He means a villain who steals from other villains,” KP translated as she looked around, spotting a terrace and pulling out her grappling gun. “Hold on, I'm going to bring that thing down.”

Kim shot the grapple at the terrace and cranked the servos in the gun up to their maximum before hitting the release, yanking her off her feet faster than normal. With the speed of the device, she flexed her body as only a master athlete could and gave herself angular momentum, spinning around the terrace and guiding herself in a long arc, feet pointed towards the open doorway as she skirted around Shego's ongoing plasma fire. Then-

“Ooof,” I winced, pulling a face and breaking into a run.

“Owie,” Tara hissed.

“Oh dear, that looked like it hurt,” Senior grimaced.

“I gotcha!” I yelled, running towards where Kim was falling after smacking straight into the forcefield bubble. “I gotcha KP!”

WOOMP!

“I gotcha,” I groaned, over a hundred pounds of lean redheaded teenage muscle falling directly onto me and knocking me to the floor as I cushioned Kim's fall.

“Awrite? Awrite?” Rufus asked, scampering over the girl's groaning form.

“Uuuuugh, did anyone get the number of that tank?” Kim groaned, rubbing her head.

“I thought it was supposed to be a bus?” I asked, groaning myself as I slowly sat up.

“I've been hit by a bus before, that wasn't a bus,” Kim grunted, checking herself over. “Thanks for the save, Ron.”

“No prob, KP. It's what we do,” I grinned.

“Kim, you okay?” Tara asked, running over at a more sedate pace and helping the other girl off me.

“Yeah, I just-what?” Kim asked, looking back up to the VTOL as the shield finally cut out.

“HA! TAKE THAT ASSHOLE, YOU-”

Then an arrow detonated on top of Shego and splattered her with neon-orange goop, pinning her to the floor.

“Oops,” Archer grinned, pulling out another arrow. “Now, let's see-”

The arrow flew, exploding into a net and wrapping around Drakken-

No, Drakken's hand, pulling the truth ray from it and yanking it back up into the VTOL with him.

“Hey! You give that back! I didn't even steal it! I invented that one fair and square!” Drakken cried, waving his black-covered hand in impotent anger. “Shego-”

“AAAAAAHHHH!”

The blue man blinked, turning from his chief henchman with a nod. “I can see you're preoccupied. Kim Possible!”

“Excuse me?” Kim asked, arching an eyebrow. “If you think you can-”

“I have been robbed! Robbed, I say!” Drakken cried, pointing at Bowman, where he was still standing in the VTOL's door, untangling his acquisition from the net. “Do your do-gooding and retrieve my device!”

Kim's face creased in something close to actual, physical pain. “I-you-wha-”

“Got a better idea,” Archer yelled, fiddling with the device. “How about I give you a bigger mess to clean up, KP?”

I blinked.

No. No fucking-

He held up the gun at the crowd and swept them with a sickly yellow beam. “There! A bunch of politicians, business moguls, and heads of state being forced to tell the truth for a while shouldn't cause any problems, right?”

Kim stared up at him, her jaw dropping open.

My own, however, had already fallen agape for an entirely different reason.

“Well, it’s been fun heroes, but I’ll have to cut this short.  See you on the flipside,” Archer called, stepping into the plane fully and shutting the door behind him.

Then he was gone.

~~~

Me: "Well, it's Friday night and I'm super tired. I'll finish this tomorrow. After all, there's no way I'll be either busy or exhausted for the next 48 consecutive hours. Ha!"

So, here's the update. 4th of July shenanigans got a little out of hand and I had to pitch in with some stuff I didn't expect to. Also, I have jury duty in a few hours. That'll be fun. And exhausting. Maybe I'll pass the time plotting the next chapter of Mind Games? Ugh.

Hope everyone had a great weekend. I pray it was more restful than mine way, anyway.

Mind Games up next.