This Romantic World Page 182
Added 2021-03-11 18:42:14 +0000 UTCThe dialog on this page may not be final, specifically on that last panel. Here's an issue I'm sure anyone who's ever done any creative writing can relate to: the nagging sensation that something you genuinely think is your idea is in fact a line you heard somewhere else and you simply forgot where, making you an unwitting plagiarist as a result. If you recognize that line about not booty calling someone who cares too much about you from a sitcom or something, please let me know and I'll try and come up with something else.
As for the page I hope you like it, and that I'm writing Shiro alright without him being too obnoxious. When I first came up with these two I sort of envisioned them as this borderline perfect couple. Since the nature of their relationship is so scandalous I thought it would be a fun contrast for them to have the most healthy relationship in the story in every way except for the whole vice principal/student thing.
I largely stuck to that, but did make one major change. I figured Miss Holt would likely be the type to fall for a guy who challenges her, someone she could banter with. So I made the decision to turn Shiro into a bit of a sass machine. I think it was the right choice, as in hindsight I think some of the dialog I had written for these two originally was overly mushy and not as interesting.
But what do you think? Any pointers for me on writing a couple with good chemistry? I'd love to hear about it as always.
Comments
Awesome!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:39:05 +0000 UTCXD
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:38:52 +0000 UTCGreat! It has been a while since I had a chance to draw lingerie so this is a fun one for me.
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:38:45 +0000 UTCThanks!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:37:42 +0000 UTCGreat! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:37:34 +0000 UTCWell the weekend has come and gone, and nobody @' me with "Hey wasn't that line from Frasier?" or anything so I guess I'm in the clear. XD
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:37:22 +0000 UTCI'll do my best not to disappoint then!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:35:35 +0000 UTCGreat! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:35:17 +0000 UTCThat you will! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:35:09 +0000 UTCGood to know! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:34:55 +0000 UTCGlad to hear it!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:34:44 +0000 UTCThank you!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:34:33 +0000 UTCThat is pretty close to what I was imagining for how this started. Miss Holt wouldn't have actively sought out a partner that was so much younger than her. I pictured it as something that was supposed to be a fling, and she fell in love with him unexpectedly.
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:34:11 +0000 UTCNice! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:32:02 +0000 UTCHigh fives!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:31:52 +0000 UTCMight be something to explore in the future!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:31:33 +0000 UTCThank you!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:31:09 +0000 UTCRight on that's what I'm going for. :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:31:01 +0000 UTCThanks!
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:30:46 +0000 UTCGreat! :)
Reinbach
2021-03-15 10:30:39 +0000 UTCimmersion ftw
nick
2021-03-13 13:52:17 +0000 UTCReally appreciate the work in this and already look forward to seeing more of them! I love sassy but healthy relationships so this fills that perfectly.
Nicholas
2021-03-13 08:15:59 +0000 UTCOn the one hand: good job Shiro for being so kind and considerate of your partners well-being. One the other hand: Damn you Shiro for making me wait to see some hot mature action 🤬
Vylon Delta
2021-03-12 19:29:39 +0000 UTCsee through lingerie! ooh-la-la! i enjoy seeing this is the kind of art.
nick
2021-03-12 13:02:14 +0000 UTCThe dialogue is good and I don`t think it needs changing. Their banter works and is unique to their relationship.
Lukas West
2021-03-12 10:50:19 +0000 UTCHis sass is perfectly permissible, considering he is more concerned about Holt's well-being than getting his dick wet. He is definitely not coming across as an ass. So far...
Squid Hills
2021-03-12 07:08:31 +0000 UTCI hope the dialogue doesn't change, because it's so good. It's weird, because I didn't think I'd be getting excited for two characters to talk it out, but I am.
The GrandMage
2021-03-12 02:54:03 +0000 UTCThis...I crave more! I'm waiting in pure anticipation for this art 😍
Zenshurai
2021-03-12 00:36:35 +0000 UTCShiro is my Hero!! Big ups for him using his head above the shoulders and not the other one.
Vegetto
2021-03-12 00:03:11 +0000 UTCFirst & Second panel 🤤 Big ups to Shiro for seeing an a problem under the surface. I hope this pays off with an interesting angle. Maybe second thoughts about the relationship? We'll see.
Jariah Synn
2021-03-11 21:28:02 +0000 UTCI don't think Shiro's being overly combative. He's making incredibly valid points, and seems to be attempting to broach a concern that something might be wrong with his girlfriend.
Malmedee
2021-03-11 21:04:02 +0000 UTCI really like their chemistry! I think you did a good job of making Shiro sassy without making him an asshole like Zane or one of the other jock characters.
Jordan Christmas
2021-03-11 20:54:29 +0000 UTCAwwwwww but overly mushy is MY fetish XD BUT YAYYYYYYYYYYY Miss Holt undies! Your greatest character design gets to spread her wings! Love the look of her belly button there. And those cheekbones are magic, as a always.
ScuzzBucket
2021-03-11 20:28:41 +0000 UTClol, Everyone in Castlewood high loves the idea of older partners it seems (lusting after those MILFs and DILFs). I'm sure there's an aspect of that to Shiro and Nadine's relationship of course, but Shiro might be one of those folks who's ready to settle down in a comfortable, mature relationship and skip the dating process entirely. Would be amusing to me if Ms. Holt thought she was seducing a boy-toy, and ended up with just a young almost-husband. Her behaviour here suggests she still doesn't know how to deal with it (even though they're both clearly invested) :D
Dorian Alton
2021-03-11 19:46:04 +0000 UTCWell he's got better control than I do, I'd jump her bones at the snap of her fingers.
Bob Fink
2021-03-11 19:34:52 +0000 UTCJ’adore !!!! Much beautiful women in this story !
Izagi
2021-03-11 19:29:39 +0000 UTCI mean, as much as I'm ready to watch them bang, It says a lot that he's more concerned with what's wrong than eager to fuck her brains out on that desk. How did thease two get to this level in secret?
Slaughterbug
2021-03-11 19:22:08 +0000 UTCThis seems great so far! I really like how this scene is developing and the dialog seems good :)
Emmett
2021-03-11 19:15:44 +0000 UTCThis kid's going places. Like he's a genuinely nice person and he cares about her...that's sweet
Matthew Brady
2021-03-11 19:05:28 +0000 UTCThe whole time I'm thinking, "boy, these two are solid. He keeps saying boyfriend and she doesn't shut it down". I really like that, and you've done an excellent job with it so far!
J B
2021-03-11 19:02:19 +0000 UTCThe line doesn't seem familiar to me. I like it. I think the whole thing works. This is something fresh and different. It's shaking things up. I'm excited to see where this goes.
GregD
2021-03-11 18:45:06 +0000 UTC
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