Female Consort Chapter 52: Birthday

The atmosphere had been silent for a long, long time.

So long that Li Qingwu’s hand was trembling as she held on, before Qiu Che finally came back to herself.

She looked at Li Qingwu for a moment with an indescribable expression, moved her lips, and spoke in a hoarse voice for some reason, “Are you out of your mind?”

Li Qingwu replied calmly, “You can think of it that way if you want.”

Qiu Che tugged at her own hand, unsurprised when it didn’t come free.

Truthfully, she didn’t pull too hard, because she didn’t want to appear too heartless.

She lowered her eyes slightly, also looking at her, and said softly, “…Have you really thought this through? I’m a woman. I’ve disguised myself as a man for a long time, but in the end, I’m not one.”

“So what if you’re a woman?” Li Qingwu, unusually stubborn, lifted her chin and retorted in a low voice, “You’re the one who told me that anything a man can do, a woman can too.”

And now you’re throwing this back at me?

Qiu Che was momentarily speechless. She wasn’t sure whether to laugh or feel helpless.

After a while, she exhaled slowly and said:

“…I understand.”

For some reason, Li Qingwu felt something was off about those words.

She held her breath, a little anxious. “...So, is that it? You don’t have anything else to say?”

Qiu Che seemed to consider it, as though weighing how to respond. In the silence, her gaze casually swept over Li Qingwu’s neck.

Then, with a light motion, she pulled her hand back and rested it on Li Qingwu’s collar.

“Qiu Che’s here.”

She tugged lightly at the collar and said in a low voice:

“…The weather’s getting cold. Remember to dress warmly.”

Neither a reply nor a refusal.

As if she hadn’t seen the stunned look on Li Qingwu’s face, Qiu Che quickly withdrew her hand, stepped around her, and walked away with a composed expression.

Even after she had walked quite far, Qiu Che could still feel Li Qingwu’s gaze lingering on her back.

She had the urge to look back, but she resisted.

Closing her eyes, she didn’t stop walking. She thought, maybe this is for the best.

They both needed to cool off.

When Li Qingwu grabbed her hand and confessed, for a moment Qiu Che really thought, maybe luck was finally on her side.

The day after she understood her own feelings, the person she loved confessed to her.

What could be more intoxicating than that?

But just when her blood surged and she almost blurted out “I like you too,” she remembered something.

Chen Huichun had once said, during the process of detoxification, the person under the spell would gradually develop deep feelings for the one treating them.

So in that long silence, Qiu Che hesitated and deliberated, again and again.

In the end, she swallowed the words at her throat and stepped back to her safe distance.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to believe in the meaning behind Li Qingwu’s words, it was that she didn’t dare to.

They had been married for over two months. Li Qingwu had always treated her gently and attentively. That much was true. But Qiu Che clearly remembered: all the flirtation had been an act.

As someone with political ambition, it was no surprise if Li Qingwu played such tricks.

Whenever she felt herself about to be swayed completely, Qiu Che would snap herself awake with a cold reminder: it’s all fake.

Besides, with the effect of the venom still lingering, there was a good chance Li Qingwu only had a friendly fondness for her, amplified by the influence of the spell.

That must be why, just a day after the detox began, she’d impulsively confessed.

If she truly had feelings for Qiu Che, then why had she previously admitted, with her own mouth, that she was “lying” to her?

Qiu Che reminded herself, it was one thing for Li Qingwu to lie to her.

But she couldn’t afford to lie to herself.

Still, thinking about what had just happened, she couldn’t help but falter in her breath.

Anyone who heard those words couldn’t possibly remain unaffected.

So even as she warned herself not to be impulsive, she kept a little part of her feelings tucked away.

She hadn’t outright rejected Li Qingwu’s confession.

Maybe she didn’t want to see her hurt expression, or maybe, deep down, she wanted to let herself make one mistake.

In the days that followed, the atmosphere between them grew even stranger than before.

Li Qingwu never received a clear answer. Every time she looked into Qiu Che’s eyes, all she got was a guilty, evasive glance.

Eventually, even the last sliver of hope in her heart began to fade.

She figured… this was probably the answer.

Qiu Che just hadn’t said it aloud because she didn’t want to make things too awkward.

As Qiu Che’s birthday drew near, 

On the night before, just after the three of them had shared a strained Mid-Autumn gathering, Li Qingwu, for once, didn’t leave a single word behind.

She simply vanished for the night.

When Qiu Che finally tracked her down and asked Fu Ling, Li Qingwu was outside the city, sitting in a small courtyard, hugging a jar of wine with flushed cheeks, staring dazedly into the heavy moonlight.

No matter how Yao Tai tried to question her, she only shook her head and mumbled to herself:

“I made things difficult for her.”

“I was too impulsive.”

“I… still wasn’t good enough.”

Not good enough to stand in front of Qiu Che and ask why she wasn’t allowed to be liked.

Maybe… that one-sided crush she’d nurtured for over ten years in her dreams had been better left unspoken.

She should’ve held on a little longer, Li Qingwu thought in a daze.

Then maybe things wouldn’t be this awkward, neither advancing or retreating.

By the time Qiu Che arrived, the moon was already high in the sky. Li Qingwu had fallen asleep with her head resting on the table.

Yao Tai, who’d had more than a few drinks herself, rubbed her temples when she saw Qiu Che and waved her over. “Lord Qiu, come on, take her back already.”

Qiu Che’s expression didn’t change. She nodded and lowered her gaze to observe Li Qingwu’s face.

Her cheeks were flushed with drunkenness, lips slightly parted even in sleep, but her brows were tightly furrowed.

As if there was something in the real world she just couldn’t make sense of. Something that had driven her to drown her sorrows, and now haunted even her dreams.

Qiu Che stared at her for a moment, then bent down, slipping her arm under Li Qingwu’s knees and lifted her up with practiced ease.

Li Qingwu’s brows knitted tighter. She murmured something incoherent and, as if by instinct, nestled into Qiu Che’s arms.

Still sound asleep.

Qiu Che unconsciously relaxed, holding her a little tighter. She glanced at the empty jars scattered on the table. In the dark, her expression was unreadable.

“She… did she say anything to you?” she asked.

Yao Tai shook her head. Then nodded.

“…So did she or didn’t she?”

Yao Tai didn’t answer, only sighed. “Lord Qiu, it was Young Master Yang who told you Her Highness was here, wasn’t it?”

Qiu Che’s heart gave a strange thump, an inexplicable feeling rising inside her.

She opened her mouth. “...Yes.”

Fu Ling had refused to speak under Li Qingwu’s orders, but Qiu Che had been quietly anxious.

It was Yang Qiu who, somehow knowing everything, sent a pigeon to inform her.

At the time, she’d wondered how Yang Qiu even knew where Li Qingwu was. Now, looking at Yao Tai, she more or less understood.

“I was with Young Master Yang,” Yao Tai said with a soft smile. “When Her Highness arrived, I came to keep her company while she drank. Lord Qiu, you should know what troubles she’s trying to drink away, right?”

Qiu Che didn’t answer for a long time.

Of course she knew.

But she couldn’t exactly say it out loud, because the problem wasn’t whether Li Qingwu was troubled.

The problem was: she couldn’t say yes, and yet didn’t want to say no.

In the end… she was just being selfish.

Yao Tai sighed. “There’s no point in saying more. I’ll just leave you with one thing, Lord Qiu: don’t let a good person down.”

Qiu Che gave her a silent nod, turned around, and began walking away from the little courtyard step by step.

The carriage was parked by the city gate, but as Qiu Che carried her out, she had only walked a short distance when she suddenly looked down, and saw that the person in her arms had opened her eyes at some point.

Her heart jumped.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment. Then Qiu Che saw Li Qingwu blink slowly and say:

“Put me down.”

Qiu Che: “…What?”

Li Qingwu thought she hadn’t heard, so she softly repeated herself, “Put me down.”

Qiu Che hesitated, then gently set her down.

Just as she was wondering whether Li Qingwu was truly awake or still drunk, the girl staggered a few steps, then suddenly turned and collapsed right back into her arms.

Qiu Che instinctively reached out to catch her.

She caught her, but her body froze.

Li Qingwu clung to her arm with a completely natural ease, her eyes sparkling as she looked up. “Look at the moon.”

Qiu Che looked up without thinking, and saw a full, round moon.

As the saying goes, “The moon is fullest on the sixteenth night.”

And as luck would have it, today was the sixteenth of the eighth month.

Her voice was tight as she looked up, inexplicably afraid to lower her gaze. “I see it.”

“Is it pretty?”

“…Yeah.”

Li Qingwu smiled.

She tugged at the corner of Qiu Che’s collar, resting her head on her shoulder. Her breath was warm as she murmured, “Then carry me.”

“…Huh?”

The topic shifted so suddenly that Qiu Che couldn’t keep up.

But after a moment’s hesitation, seeing the childlike innocence and confusion in Li Qingwu’s eyes, she sighed inwardly, turned around, and crouched down.

Li Qingwu seemed surprised, as if she hadn’t expected Qiu Che to actually agree.

Qiu Che crooked a finger. “Well? Want me to carry you or not?”

“Yes!” Li Qingwu beamed. As soon as the words left her mouth, she climbed onto her back and planted a loud kiss on Qiu Che’s cheek. “Thank you!”

Qiu Che felt her entire cheek go numb, her mind a complete mess.

Still, she forced herself to stay composed. “…Mm.”

Li Qingwu tilted her head. “Aren’t you going to ask why I thanked you?”

Qiu Che played along. “Why?”

“Because no one’s ever carried me like this before.”

Qiu Che paused.

“Not even Father,” Li Qingwu said after a moment. She looked up at the moon, speaking softly. “Everyone says he adores me. But he used to lift my brothers onto his shoulders and pretend they were riding horses. He’d carry them to the imperial gardens to catch koi in the pond, take them out to find crickets…”

“…But I never had that.”

Qiu Che was silent for a while, then gave her legs a little bounce. “That’s okay.”

“Because now someone is carrying me.”

“Yeah. So thank you.”

Li Qingwu whispered into her ear, “Am I heavy? If I am, you don’t have to carry me. I can walk.”

There was still a hint of alcohol in her voice.

Rather considerate, actually.

Qiu Che gave a faint smile and shook her head.

Li Qingwu was thin and light, and with Qiu Che’s martial training, carrying her was no effort at all.

After a moment, Qiu Che said, “I forgot to bring a lantern.”

Li Qingwu didn’t immediately react. “Hm?”

Qiu Che walked slowly, deliberately, her pace unhurried. “You’re afraid of the dark, aren’t you?” she said, her voice matching the rhythm of her steps. “I should’ve brought something.”

They’d left in a rush, no wonder she’d forgotten.

“It’s okay.” Li Qingwu laughed softly against her shoulder.

Her laughter made Qiu Che’s chest buzz slightly, her ears heating up.

She asked in a quiet voice, “Why?”

“Because there’s the moon,” Li Qingwu said, her eyes bright as she glanced up at the sky.

They were on a quiet country path outside the city, flanked by bamboo groves. The moonlight spilled through the leaves, and only the murmur of their voices filled the air.

Their shadows stretched long and intertwined beneath the moonlight.

Carried on the wind, their conversation drifted softly.

Qiu Che said, “I see.”

But Li Qingwu drawled, “That’s not the only reason. There’s also…”

“What else?”

Li Qingwu paused for a long moment before leaning in close and whispering, “There’s you.”

Because you’re here, I know I don’t have to be afraid.

Qiu Che’s heart skipped a beat at those words.

After a long time, she finally turned her head slightly.

And saw that the one who started all this had fallen asleep on her shoulder, lazy and drowsy.

Strands of her hair had slipped loose from behind her ear. She looked less put-together than usual, yet somehow more beautiful, more effortless.

Qiu Che walked silently to the carriage. Yu Ming, perceptive as ever, stepped forward quietly to take Li Qingwu from her back and settle her into the carriage.

As she lifted the curtain, Qiu Che looked up instinctively at the clear, radiant moon.

It looked just the same as it had one year ago, on the night of the Lantern Festival.

Just then, a hand grabbed her.

Li Qingwu hadn’t yet been fully settled inside.

She opened her eyes halfway, as if suddenly remembering something. She stared at Qiu Che for a long time before murmuring, “Qiu Che.”

Qiu Che responded with a quiet “Mm.”

Li Qingwu tightened her grip on her wrist, and, as if she hadn’t heard the reply clearly, called again in a soft whisper, “…Aning.”

This time, Qiu Che paused. Under Yu Ming’s curious gaze, she lowered her eyes to where Li Qingwu was holding her hand tightly, and answered again.

Her voice was quiet, but steady and firm. “I’m here.”

“I know.” Li Qingwu gave a slow, gentle smile.

She said, “Happy birthday.”

Qiu Che didn’t speak for a long time.

Nights like this, cool autumn wind, a bright full moon, had a way of stirring old memories.

And she remembered.

During the ten years Li Qingwu spent in Jiangnan, Qiu Che had only remembered her coming back twice. But until now, she hadn’t recalled when the first time was.

Now she did.

It was on her birthday one year, when she turned twenty.

Li Qingwu had rushed back from Jiangnan just to celebrate it with her. But the journey was long, and she was delayed along the way.

By the time she arrived, travel-worn and weary, it was already close to midnight.

That night, the moon was the same, bright and full.

But because her father had forgotten her birthday, Qiu Che had been in low spirits. When she returned to her courtyard, she realized there wasn’t a single person she could confide in.

That night, the one who got drunk wasn’t Li Qingwu, it was Qiu Che.

She only remembered them talking for hours, about everything, from dreams and aspirations to the hardships of life. Topics they’d never touched on before.

It was obvious Li Qingwu had enjoyed herself.

Qiu Che had even sighed and apologized, explaining that she’d had her reasons for sending her away to Jiangnan.

She’d told her, if the day ever came when Li Qingwu found someone she loved and wanted to leave her, she wouldn’t stand in her way.

It was almost the exact same thing she’d said when they first allied themselves in this life.

But she hadn’t seen the way Li Qingwu’s eyes dropped with disappointment.

Nor had she heard her response.

The next morning, when Qiu Che awoke, all that was left on the bedside was a gift box containing a carving knife.

The courtyard was empty.

Li Qingwu had already gone.

She’d come all that way to spend a belated birthday with her, just the two of them.

And then left without a sound.

It seemed that for them, every reunion was a belated blessing.

And parting was always their fate.