PHOBOS KING OF BEASTS CH 42: My Theia

I had lost all hope at one point in time, hope that I would be able to conceive. That my womb would be healed and be blessed by the moon with time so I can bear a healthy male. Though Phobos had never ceased comforting me in my path of despair I still found the truth of my infertility to be utterly unendurable. 

I quit dreaming and longing for the day I would birth a pup, for the day I would finally become a mother. I hadn't spoken to Phobos about it for I did not wish to drag him down to the pits of darkness with me. That was why it had been effortless for me to leave him that night for I thought no matter what I would not be able to give him what he needed. What he needed both as my male and as the king of beasts.

But somewhere along my bloody journey, my dream came true it had caught me off guard I shall admit for I had stopped expecting it. When Cronus had compelled me to take those pregnancy tests despite the flicker of yearning that shined through the entirety of my being still rejected the possibility of being pregnant and just like that I was. Though carrying a male has always meant to be something to celebrate I could truly not do so. How could I when the bond I treasured all my life with the totality of my heart was shattering, when I was running away from my responsibilities as Luna and when I had intentionally abandoned my moon blessed?

The first five months I had gotten used to Italy to the point that even thinking of leaving tore me apart even if it meant I would be reunited with my first and last love. Phobos's pack had never truly welcomed me as I was. I had to change to become someone else in order to be one of them but in Alpha Giovanni's pack, it had been different for there was no requirement for me to do that. The second I set foot on his lands I was embraced by his wolves and the females gave me a sense of warmth that I could not receive from my own pack. Each day I spent with them, cooked with them and danced with them, Italy felt more and more like home to me. A home I did not wish to desert.  

Despite the voidness I had felt in my soul without my male beside me the females always made sure I was laughing and that there was always light in my eyes. I knew if I birthed my male in Italy there was a high chance that he would be much happier and more cherished than in my pack. I wanted to give him a good life and I did not wish for him to go through what I had and for those reasons I was faltering once more with my decision.

Seven months after I had left Phobos he unexpectedly just stopped. He had stopped slaughtering his enemies in his determined search for me and he became eerily silent to the point it made me anxious. Whenever I had contacted Cronus inquiring about my male he had no answers for me. Phobos had notified him that he no longer needed his help which had shocked my brother but also put him at unease for he would not know any more of my male's plans. We were both blinded by my mate. Yet I appreciated that stillness, I was pleased that his rage and fear had subdued. It aided in my pregnancy for I could be more relaxed and content with the circumstances. And so I stayed. 

I stayed and I birthed my little beast. I bore Tadeas, his name meant the goddess's gift. A name Phobos and I had both chosen together before. 

It was laborious to birth him he did not make it manageable for me. He had come out much earlier than my due date as if he demanded I bend to his will and set him free. My vaginal opening ripped to let loose his enormous head and he tore out me as an oversized pup which astounded the healer for she claimed she had never witnessed such an enormous male before and to be honest neither had I. He was different unlike the rest, unlike the ordinary. Tadeas was Phobos in every way and I felt it down to my bones. 

It was an excruciating bloodstained night and not having Phobos next to me only intensified my bodily misery. It had been what we wanted to experience together as a couple for a very long time and after I gave birth a sense of guiltiness and shame drowned me in the waters of sin. I could not look at my little beast without feeling remorseful. His father was not there to witness his birth all because his mother thought it was for the best that way. But only after that had I known the enormity of what I had done. 

As the sky rumbled with a thunderous voice that shook the glass windows and a raging storm brew outside answering to the one who had ultimately arrived, every female in the room including me had guessed Tadeas had not made it out alive for when my cunt finally thrust him out and the umbilical cord was cut not a single cry was hurled out his throat. He did not show any proof that he was breathing which not only terrified me but the rest present as well. His eyes though striking ocean blue just like his father were frightening to look at there was this darkness he held in them, a certain darkness that was already instilled within him whilst he was in my womb. Everything he was, was the definition of abnormal. I watched as the healer stumbled backwards her eyes widened with dread as she scrutinised him as though he was an...abomination. 

I clutched him tighter to my chest though he had been bloody and uncleaned. I bared my war teeth at every wolf who attempted to come near him or me. I did not like one bit how they looked at my male as though he was the devil incarnate himself. An urgent compulsion to keep him safe and protect him cocooned me and for the first time in a very long time my wolf stood tall on her unsteady limbs with her chest puffed and her canines exposed just like mine to stare down at those who were attending to me in the room. A warning she gave each of them and they knew. They ultimately knew just what title I beheld the crown I deliberately hid from them.

Luna. The queen of beasts.

They understood to whom exactly I was mated to at that moment for they saw the true essence of my wolf and me as we stood as one shielding our male. They instantly fled the room apprehension of me and Tadeas inundating them and I was left alone in the tranquil dimly lit room sitting upon shred bloody sheets with my blue-eyed male staring up at me full of curiosity. He still hadn't cried only gawked up at me and when he latched onto my nipple and fed from my bosom like he was starved we forged an imperishable bond that night a connection that would be strengthened with each year he matured before my eyes. 

Gianna was the first to tear down that barricade I had put up barring the wolves out, she sprinted into the room disregarding the frantic calls of the others screaming at her to stop. She was squealing in delight as she neared me filled with excitement to see my male. When she had come close enough the little one had yanked at my forearm requesting me to show him to her. When her eyes finally landed upon Tadeas who was contently sucking on my teat her smile widened as though she had discovered a big treasure. 

"Its eyes are not like yours." She stated her globes questioning as she peered up at me.

"It is a he, Gianna. And he holds the eyes of my mate." 

"You have a mate?" She gasped with shock as if she hadn't expected it.

"Yes, I do." I giggled whilst I set a loose strand of her hair behind her ear as my thumb stroked her cheekbone. "You need a mate to make a pup." 

"Really? I wanted a pup too and Ira told me that I can have one if I drink lots of milk and eat all my vegetables." 

My laughter echoed around the room which made Tadeas draw back and let go of my teat. He stared up at me with broad doe eyes his mouth slightly open as though he was asking me what that sound was. It was his very first time hearing laughter and I swore he would hear its melody every day for the rest of his life. "That is also a good way to get a pup. You better listen to Ira."

She balled her palms into fists and pumped them into the air her eyes filled with determination. "I am going to get myself a pup!" She roared and my laughter increased. The only reason she wanted another member to add to her family was simply that she could play with them, there was still a lot of things she did not know and did not yet have the capability to understand. 

Hearing our pleasant conversation Ira strode inside her orbs inquisitive yet also lightly cautious for I knew the other females had warned her both about my pup and who I was. But she still came towards me and leaned down to see him. 

She gasped aloud and positioned her palms over her mouth her eyes enlarging and I straightened my back prepared to defend him from her if she had any filthy words to convey about him. "Your male is beautiful. I have never beheld such beauty before. I am so happy for you, Theia." 

Tears brimmed in my eyes and my lips quivered as I strived to reign back my emotions. She was the first to say kind words to me after I birthed Tadeas. The others had scurried away as fast their feet took them and I received no words of blessing or joy but was met with fear and aversion all because of who he was. They saw what he held within him along with the darkness there was this immense power that shone through one which he would wield much earlier than any other his age. But to me, he was a more miniature version of Phobos and I finally came to understand why my mate was uncomfortable with visiting normal packs for this was what he was often met with. 

"I apologize on their behalf, I shall make sure to punish them for how they have acted towards you and your male." With her spine straight she narrowed her eyes towards the shivering females who stood outside the door too scared to enter. 

"Thank you," I whispered as I brushed away my tears with the rear of my palms. 

"Give him to me, I will clean him and wrap him in a warm blanket so you could feed him after. Mia!" Ira called out her tone authoritative and strong.

Mia is one of her most trusted wolves she was recommended by Lumina. The female flashed her teeth at the cowering females huddled outside not happy with how they had treated me, she stayed outside to give Ira and me privacy I suppose. 

"Luna." She bowed with respect greeting the both of us with the same title. The truth of who I was spread that quickly. 

"Assist Theia, clean her up. Change the sheets so she and her male can sleep comfortably tonight." Ira said as she gently picked up a calm Tadeas from my arms and took him towards the small tub filled with lukewarm water that was kept on a table beside the bed. She then looked towards the females who stood outside her face scrunching up with distaste and fury. "You three fetch me some warriors. I will need them to guard Theia's room for a while and I will speak to Giovanni about your blatant disrespect towards our guest. He would be pleased to have your heads." She barked as they whined and bent their heads in submission before rushing away to bring her the warriors she ordered. 

"You did not have to do that," I whispered.

"You would have done the same for me. Our world is used to condemning those who are different from us but I will not have my pack being that way. I feel it, the tremendous power that is simmering in your male he will make a fine Alpha." She beamed at me as she cupped some water in her palms and poured it over his head that had patches of pale blonde strands that mirrored my own. 

"Would I be permitted to play with him? How long will he stay here?" Gianna asked bouncing on the heels of her feet her enthusiasm showing for me to see. 

"We will talk about that another time, Gia. Now come here and see his tiny feet. They are quite adorable." Ira beckoned Gianna with a wave. She leapt forward and hurried towards her so she could have a better look. "What have you named him?"

"Tadeas." I smiled and nodded at Mia with appreciation for she was tending to my blood and fluid coated inner thighs. 

"The goddess's gift." She declared and I bobbed my head in confirmation. He was indeed a gift, a miracle I was desperate to receive. 

"When will you make a pup, Ira?" Gianna tugged at her long skirt as she peered up at her brother's mate with hopeful eyes as Ira's cheeks blushed wildly. "Theia said you need a mate to help you get one, you have Giovanni so why won't you make one?" Ira's blush intensified and I chortled. 

"You are too naughty for your own good." A flash of her teeth she offered the little one who simply sighed and peered down at my male who seemed very pleased with being washed. 

I was so thrilled with Tadeas's arrival that I had completely failed to acknowledge what was happening, the forewarning that the earth was trying to give me. There was to be a full moon worn by the dark skies for the past nights but instead, the nights were moonless shrouded by grey skies which birthed an endless unrelenting storm. I failed to see who was on his way to me. 

----

~Present~

"Look at your fingers and look at these little toes. Shall I count them for you?" Lumina coos softly as my male gazes up at her as she tickles his belly. 

"He seems to like you."

"He must! I am his aunt, he needs to favour me more than Deimos of course. There will be competition between us now."

"Just like Cronus and I with Kal." I giggle as I pour the steaming coffee into two glass mugs. Lumina has come to Italy alone, she said to Deimos that she wished to meet Gianna and Alpha Giovanni that she missed them. Though it is the half-truth they both and Ira have travelled far to the suburbs of south Italy. She would not be able to meet them of course but she can spend her time here with Tadeas and me.

"I have gotten him so many presents and have stashed them in a secret room at the castle. I will tell Ragon and Elriam to deliver them to your pack lands if and when you choose to return home." 

"Lumina there is no need for you to do that. And what if Deimos finds those presents, you would get into trouble."

"If he does find them I will just say I bought them for our future male." She winks at me with a sense of playfulness and I chuckle. She knows her way with her mate much better than I do with Phobos.

"I wish Cronus was here too." 

"I wish for that as well, he deserves to at least see his nephew. But you know the risk of it. I am certain Phobos is keenly watching your brother tracking his every move he has his ways I am sure of it. Though he has been weirdly withdrawn the past few months." 

"Yes, Cronus informed me of this."

"And what do you think of it? What do your heart and mind feel when you think that there is a possibility that he has ceased his search for you. That he has just given up?"

My fingers clutch onto the mug a little tighter in a jerky grasp the beats of my heart pausing as I  stare out the window. I swallow to dampen my parched throat and get rid of the clog that blocks my airway. Her questions are a cruel strike for me to bear indeed, it is not like I have not thought about it before but it hurt to even imagine that situation. If he had given up on me it would mean that all his needs as a male and as an Alpha have been taken care of. There is no place for me in his life that is also what it would mean.

"I apologize, I did not mean to unsettle you I just-"

"Not at all. I was thinking." I smile at her whilst handing her the coffee mug that she takes with a grateful nod. 

"And so has your male cried yet?" She asks with interest changing the topic for she saw the war in my eyes. 

"He has not yet, not when he is hungry or when he is tired. Or even when he needs a change of his diapers. He is too...silent. I do not understand why." 

"That is uncanny indeed. Have you tried to ignore him for a while to elicit a response?"

"I have plenty of times. Pups usually cannot accept being separated from their mothers for even a small period of time but this male of mine does well in my absence. Not a single cry since the day he was born." I speak with a shake of my head as I sit beside Lumina sipping on my coffee. 

"I heard most pups do not like water at first, he might cry if put a few drops of cold water on his thighs." 

"He loves water, he loves getting a bath." I sigh.

"Well Tadeas is Phobos's blood, after all, it is to be expected that he would be very different from the rest." 

"The wolves here still are wary in Tadeas's and my presence. He is still a newborn but they are unable to handle the power that oozes from his flesh. You have Alpha blood, is my male that frightening?"

"I do feel something that makes me tense in his presence, but it is distinct something I have not felt before. I cannot describe it." When my male clutches onto her forefinger and guides it to his eager mouth to suck on it she laughs and plants a big kiss on his plump cheek that has him edgy yet he coos contently in response. Worry overwhelms me and I sink into myself whilst she shakes her head in objection sensing my emotions. "You need not worry about anything. His whole family possesses pure Alpha blood and power we can protect him from everything. He will be welcomed and embraced by my pack, by Cronus's and yours. He is family, Theia."

"I know. But I worry for his future, if wolves are pushing away from him just after he was born I do not want him to undergo that glaring rejection as he matures. Phobos had spoken about his past many times and he was right. They look at Tadeas like he is an abomination of the moon."

"And you as his mother will strike down each of them who looks at him that way. Do not let them respond to your male's essence that way either. You are a Luna, a queen. You can make them submit to you and teach them to protect your male instead of rebuking him."

"You are right. This is my duty." 

"And your male is not all that bad. I mean look at his pouty lips and his bloated belly." She coos again in that high pitched tone whilst facing him and I laugh. She adores him already. 

"I wish you could have brought Kal, I miss him."

"Oh please, I am quite happy to be free of him for a little while. He is the naughtiest male out there spoiled rotten by his father. He will turn three next week and goodness I am afraid of it. I am confident his mischievousness will only grow from there on." 

"I cannot wait for the day our males shall play together."

"Of course, Deimos was talking about offering the east wing of the castle to Phobos and you. It would be your home whenever you come to visit."

"That is very thoughtful of you both." 

"We are family, Theia. It is what we must do for each other and also Kal would be occupied with Tadeas's presence and I can finally get some time to myself. My two males are quite needy, if Kal is asleep Deimos wants me and if Deimos is asleep Kal wants me. And I just want myself!"

"You seem to have your hands full." I chuckle. 

"I absolutely do but still...Deimos and I have been trying."

"Trying?" I frown with puzzlement at her words. Trying for what?

"For another pup." She mumbles as I gasp with surprise. 

"Truly? Oh goddess I am so happy for you!" I bind my arms around her shoulders and give her a tight hug. 

"It is not like we are thoroughly trying it is just that he has stopped using protection. So I suppose in a way we are." She says with a casual shrug. 

"You will soon carry a pup I am sure of it, Deimos wants a female I suppose?"

"Yes, he does. It is what he has yearned after for a while. It has been almost three years since we had Kal and I think it is the right time for another." 

"Have you had any symptoms yet?"

"Just mild nausea."

"That is a symptom. Do you want me to fetch you some pregnancy tests? You can check if you wish."

"No I will do it back at home with Deimos, he would get furious if I took that experience away from him." 

"Of course." I nod. 

"Now I wish to test a theory with Tadeas, you and me we shall head out the door and stay there for an hour minimum. If crying is not his way of communicating with you, there must be something else and we shall figure that out together. We will wait for him to call you." She says rising whilst propelling the crib closer to the front door as I stumble after her. 

"I-I have not left him for that long." 

"I understand your need to constantly hover around him as his mother as I once was just like you, still the same in a way. Trust me on this." She speaks as I lean down and pick up the coffee cup from the glass table. We are in Alpha Giovanni's living room he had told me to use his home freely since it would be empty for a few days. 

Lumina walks out the front door as I kneel beside the crib and nuzzle into my male's neck inhaling his scent and sharing with him my own. "Mama is going out for just some time. I will be close by okay? I would like it if you can call out to me. A simple cry would do, I feel like you do not need me much for you are doing good on your own despite being a newborn. Please, Tadeas. Mama needs you to do this for me." I delicately kiss his cheek as he calmly peers up at me without making even the slightest of sounds. 

Rising from the cold floor keeping my reluctant eyes on him I stumble out the entrance and once he is out fully of sight I noiselessly close the door behind me. With a muffled sigh, my upsetness of this situation climbing within I give myself a terse nod of encouragement. He will call out to me for sure, I know it.  

Turning to the side I encounter Lumina who has her broadened eyes set firmly to the front her chest heaving as she swallows with a sense of uneasiness. I frown with confusion and divert my attention towards the front as well seeking the sight that has her immobilized. 

There is an audible hitch to my breath that confines me as the mug in my hand slips from my tremoring fingers to plunge upon the marble steps and shatter into pieces the coffee spilling everywhere. The rhythms of my heart hasten to the point that I battle to breathe. I begin to hyperventilate at what greets me and take a wobbly step backwards a need to escape the scene overpowering my every rational thought and emotion. Fight or flee my body chooses the latter. 

"Phobos," I choke out his name with disbelief and Lumina visibly stiffens beside me. She strives to hide her apprehension but if I can see it so can the three males standing in front of us. 

"What the actual fuck?!" Deimos roars his voice saturated with unbridled rage and shock and I shrink into myself my body shuddering to the wrath he holds as he glances from Lumina to me and then back to her finally putting all the puzzle pieces together. "What is the meaning of this?"

My eyes return to my male who stands there at a distance his captivating face an emotionless mask I cannot analyze, his composed piercing blues anchored on my flesh. All he sees is me. 

"Goddamnit speak to me either of you!" Deimos bellows with a ferocious snarl and tears of guilt rush to my eyes whilst I blink them away striving to reign them back. He is seething he openly displays his emotions it is uncomplicated to understand him but with Phobos, I cannot feel or see anything from him. He is like a block of ice that one cannot penetrate to get through to its core, not even his female.

"There is nothing to say, Deimos. What is it that you wish to hear?"

"Were you a part of this? Did you hide her here?" Deimos looks betrayed and Lumina balls her hands into quivering fists at the transition of his expression.

My breath comes out in frenzied pants for I sense the fiery heat of my male's gaze that sears my skin to the point it burns. To the point, it is too disheartening for me to endure. He has not uttered a single word indifferent and controlled as always, all he is doing is keenly scrutinising me with a slightly tilted head. I am an open book, he can read me effortlessly and find all the answers he needs to his questions without me even opening my mouth. 

"I had no choice, she is family." 

"So it is true then. You assisted Phobos's female in deserting him. Do you have any idea what the fuck you have done?"

"Do not raise your voice at me. I will make you bleed." She bares her razor-sharp teeth at him accompanied by a disapproving growl for she does not like the way he is addressing her. 

"You think you are in a position to give me orders or threats, Lumina?" 

"I only did what was right. Betrayal is betrayal no matter the form. I built a house away from you after you hid the tradition of the chosen from me. Your brother there kissed another female in front of his moon blessed and she wished to leave. Don't you dare tell either of us that it was wrong of her to do so." Deimos freezes to the malice in her voice his eyes consumed by hints of guiltiness as she dictated their past with the chosen. It still seems to haunt him.

"Whatever happened was none of your goddamn business. It is between my brother and Theia. But you went behind my back, you lied to my face and you acted so innocent when I questioned you of her disappearance when all along you sought Gio's aid to obscure her from Phobos." With each word he spits out his bitterness grows and his chest heaves as he endeavours to retain his overflowing rage. 

"Yes that is true I will admit it. But Theia is one of my females, I will do what she desires and will protect her." 

I am unable to face Phobos, I do not know what kind of expression I hold upon my face at this moment. Guilt? Utter shame? Longing?...Love? 

"I ask forgiveness for my female's actions, brother. I am to blame and I shall take whatever punishment you will deliver to her on her behalf." Deimos twists to speak to his brother and lays his right fist over his chest right upon his beating heart. An informal oath. 

"Let him dare punish me or you for this and I will make it so he will never see his nephew again. Families do not discipline each other, they understand, forgive and love one another. Your brother is not innocent he is the cause of all this." Lumina states with her spine straight and her head held high not a single crack is seen in the strength she portrays. Deimos gives her a warning look asking her to keep her mouth shut and not worsen the situation. 

When Phobos takes an abrupt step forward towards where I stand the sky thunders and the gloomy expectant clouds are brisk to birth an unyielding downpour that mercilessly pounds the earth. Deimos, Awan and Phobos stand there getting drenched each holding a different expression on their faces except for my male who holds none. Lightning strikes and I recoil taking another step backwards for it speaks to me of his inner turmoil and madness even though his face does not give anything away. Our marks awaken from hibernation and erupt into flames to unite as though meeting their long lost lover. 

My moon blessed carries the ruthless storm with him as he saunters ahead with purpose and I let out a gut-wrenching sob unable to conceal the tremors of my body from his all-consuming blues that notices everything.

Lumina takes a curt step to the right and shields my body with hers as I weep loudly weak to stifle my cries anymore. There is a blend of emotions that clash within me and I am being torn apart by his unforeseen appearance. This is what he does to me that no matter what he does or what I do I am bound to him. Body and soul. 

Phobos halts in his unwavering path to me his unfeeling eyes still rooting me down to my spot. I cannot run from him anymore he has found me. He brought hell to earth in his hunt for me and now I am his. Forever. He will never let me go, never let me out of his sight ever again. 

"Deimos." His fierce yet gruff voice that haunted me morning and night during the last ten months resonates in an unperturbed manner out of his chest and I shudder to the goosebumps it spurs over my skin. "Your female. If you do not want my claws in her throat remove her from my way this instant." 

"Try me." Lumina openly defies him very knowing the consequences she could face for such disobedience and he finally turns those dark haunting eyes to peer down at her. He is a large male both in mass and height and an Alpha at that. His silent intimidation does not work on her and she gives him her warrior smile in return continuing to oppose him. 

"Is that a challenge?" Phobos snarls as his claws elongate preparing to take a strike and Lumina extracts two sharpened knives from a hidden spot underneath her shirt equipped to fight him. 

The tension between the both of them has me shake my head in refusal as I cry out. This is not members of a close-knit family should face each other. Before he could lunge for her throat I screech out in terror, "No! Stop it Phobos!"

Deimos is swift to scamper up the stairs and arrest Lumina dragging her away from my male's path only to crush her to his panting chest with widened eyes his wolf surging forward demanding control in a need to protect what is his even from his own brother. He loves her that much. "Come here." He grits out towing her behind him taking her farther away from us as she tenaciously fights his hold.

"Do not touch her unless you sincerely apologize, you stupid male! Let me go Deimos!" Lumina's words hurled forth to Phobos do not make him waver from what he had initially planned to do. He speechlessly takes a step forward and I take one back my head raised so my eyes can meet with his. He uncompromisingly stalks me until I am cornered with my back against the door of the mansion. 

He lifts his right palm to tenderly cradle my face in his and I melt to his touch closing my eyes sobbing as a breath of relief passes my lips. I close my eyes and relish in the warmth he provides me with. This...this is what I had painfully yearned for these past months. Seizing my wrist he hoists it to brush his moist lips over my pulse a grunt of solace escaping his mouth as though he has finally found peace. As though he is finally home. What do I say? What must I say, I do not know?

"My moonlight." He whispers breathlessly whilst he leans down to set his forehead upon mine.

There is a stinging silence that envelopes us but it is not a comfortable one to be in. I sense the conflict in his heart he is fighting himself just like I am. In a way, you and I are alike when it comes to dealing with each other Phobos.

"I cannot believe it. No matter what our wolves said to me or what Deimos revealed just now. It is just us this moment so tell me it is not true so the bleeding of my heart can cease, Theia."

"W-What?" I ask shakily my voice cracking as I peer up at him with blurred vision. Tears continue to tumble down my cheeks and he shakes his head wiping them with his fingers as though pleading with me to not cry anymore. 

"Forced or...intentional?" My eyes widen to his question and I clench my mouth shut and look away unable to meet his probing despairing gaze. "Do not look away from me. Forced or intentional, that is all I wish to know." He wants to know if me coming to Italy and remaining here for ten months was forced upon me or that I had done so out of my own free will. 

"I was going to return I promise I just liked it here-" I attempt to take breaths in between my crying and speaking. This is truly arduous. Phobos simply snatches my jaw and forces me to meet his blues. 

"I did not ask for your explanation, it is just a one-word answer." His boring eyes that seem to hold the ability to read even my soul has me shiver in fear of who stands before me. I can lie to him but he will sense it as soon as I say the word. It will cause even more chaos and more lives will be lost. The moon will condemn me for it. 

So I gather my faltering courage continue to meet his eyes. "In...Intentional." I whisper and his hold on me slackens almost immediately. He takes a step back away from my being as though he has been burnt and stares down at me with an unreadable expression, he gives nothing away he will not allow me to see into his soul any more I will be like the rest no one special or important that would make him want to bare himself to. 

"So I was wrong indeed." He declares to himself and I shake my head in denial for I discern the high walls of his heart that took me two years to tear down waking from the base to shield what assists him to breathe, to live. To safeguard it from me.

"It is not what you think I just wanted peace. I just wanted to heal and give myself time to-" I catch my breath and stand still as a statue not making a single move as Phobos sets his palm upon my belly with a scowl on his face as though he has discovered that something is different about me. As though he feels like something has changed. With a vociferous reverberant growl of outrage, he yanks me to him by my slender wrist and thrusts his nose toward my neck inhaling my scent as though he cannot believe what he smells.

"Whose scent is this mingled with yours? Your belly why is it-" Before he could conclude his questions a newborn's shrill wail has all of us stiffen in our spots. Lumina's eyes enlarge with surprise along with mine and so does Deimos's as he looks down at his female sceptically. 

Phobos straightens his mask once more secured to disguise his feelings from me, he struggles to breathe just like me as his eyes are firmly affixed upon the door. The only barrier between him and his male. Tadeas is not calling for me but for his father for he senses that there is someone exactly like him close by. Someone who would be able to understand him much better than any other. My little beast was waiting all this time to meet his father. 

"Wait Phobos, before you go I just need to say that-" He rips his limb away from my hands as though I am an ordinary female who has touched him and not his Drahá. With a harsh glare of contempt sent towards me that has me spring back, he forces open the door and enters whilst I remain outside not having enough courage or strength to follow him and see his reaction as he greets his male for the first time. He would bleed indeed just as Lumina said and I know that I cannot bear to see it. 

There is an intense buzz in my ears that never ceases to stop, not even the soothing sounds of the rain is detected by me. Deimos vigorously points his finger towards where I stand screaming something at his female and she shoves at his chest fighting him with everything she possesses within. Their voices are muffled and only the rapid beats of my heart are loud and clear to me. My surroundings spin and Awan takes a hurried step forward his eyes filled with concern as he keeps his attention on my being carefully monitoring my every movement.

It takes a while for Phobos to tread outside with a serene Tadeas held in his arms tucked warmly to his chest. I gasp when I find both my males goggling each other with gleaming golden rings that outline their ocean blue irises. Tadeas's beast is simmering within and he will come to life much earlier than possible. They are having a private silent conversation, the both of them in a way I cannot comprehend.

"My male," Phobos mumbles a faint devoted smile on his face as he studies his pup examining each of his features and sets a delicate kiss to his forehead. "Let us go home, I will take you to the place you belong." 

He then turns those frigid blues to me the softness held in them dies and is replaced by an indifference that freezes me. He reminds me of the male I met when he first came to claim me not the Phobos I had gotten to know over the past two years. "What did you name him?" It is a question spewed with a commanding tone as though I am one of his pack members, not his freesia.

"Tadeas, like we chose."

"Tadeas. I am your father." He formally greets him as my little beast coos at his father with widened eyes and a rounded mouth followed by a toothless smile earning a throaty chuckle from my moon blessed. "Awan." 

As soon as he reads my male's lips Awan runs forward his bare feet dirtied by the wet soil, he bows in reverence waiting for his command. Phobos removes his shirt with one hand and sheathes his male with it to protect him from the rain before heading down the stairs without giving Deimos or Lumina another look of acknowledgement. He has acquired what he came here for nothing else matters now. "Take her. We are returning home."

Awan is quick to grip my arm and tug me along despite my protests, I still have a lot of things left here. And goddess Gianna will be crushed by my abrupt departure. I need to thank Giovanni and Ira for their warm welcome. I owe this pack too much.

"We will bring our warriors back here and wage war upon these lands. The Alpha of this pack will die." Phobos declares to Awan as though he has made up his mind and I let out a bleeding cry sinking to the ground dirtying my white dress with the damp mud and rain in order to stop the two males who are mercilessly dragging me with them like I am their prisoner.

"Královna." Awan worriedly signs to me with his fingers as I lean onto his chest for support. I do not feel good, everything around me is whirling.

"Phobos please don't. Do not hurt any of them, they did not know. I swear it." My desperate plea has him halt in his tracks and whirl around to meet me with a blazing gaze that has me cry harder.

"An eye for an eye. Or have you forgotten it? Someone must bleed for this and I will make sure that they will." He spits his words of wrath and before I lose consciousness all I catch is his pitiless retreating back. What have I done?

When I awaken and confusedly blink my haze away the first thing I witness is Deimos sitting comfortably at a distance with Lumina on his lap curled up to his chest as she sleeps soundly. His eyes are adoring as he peers down at her, he is indeed infuriated with her but his love for her dissolves it. He lays an affectionate kiss to the top of her head and she groans in protest nuzzling further into his warmth. He chuckles and pulls the blanket upward completely cocooning her body all the way up to her neck.

He then lifts his vivid emerald greens to look my way yet he is not glimpsing at me. Taking a slow deep breath I raise my head to meet Phobos's awaiting orbs. I am in the same position as Lumina, I am perched on my male's lap with a fuzzy blanket encompassing me. We do not speak simply stare at each other.

"Tadeas."

"He is with Awan." He replies and I nod shakily. "Go back to sleep, we will be the first ones to leave this jet. We will arrive home soon."

"O-Okay." I peer down at his chest my eyes scanning his tattoo that is a symbol of our love, there is a hesitance that overcomes me as I contemplate whether to lay back on his chest or not. 

"You can take whatever it is you want from me until we arrive on our lands and I shall give it freely to you. Be it a kiss, a hug or words of affection take them all now when I am yours and you are mine for when our feet land on our soil, you will not be my Theia anymore."