Update and Venting
Added 2024-07-22 22:52:09 +0000 UTCHey guys, checking in. Next chapter is fairly far along but I’ve been having a rough week and not too much progress on any individual day. It could take me 1-3 days to finish next one, we’ll see. I’m getting very tired of the constant brain fog. I’ve tried keeping it on the down low so that I’m not always complaining and reiterating myself but it’s just exhausting that it’s still continuing.
The medicine is working, my mood and mind are stable now. I looked into it and found that both stopping AND starting this medicine induces brain fog so it should clear up eventually and it was just a damned if I do damned if don’t kind of thing. I assume I just have to be on it for a long time again. It’s just difficult to keep positive when it’s still going on.
I thought about starting a side project with a co-author or something since I’m still able to write outlines and lore, character and worldbuilding documents when I’m like this- I wrote a 3k word pitch document yesterday like it was nothing since I had a story in my head- it’s just actual prose that trips me up and activates my brain fog. I guess cause I have to really think about it and be super critical as opposed to stream of thought.
I have no idea how I’d even find someone for that kind of collab, though, and I’d obviously rather be working on my own shit alone. I don’t want to call it a last resort since it would probably be fun but I feel like it’s something I need to consider on the small chance I don’t recover for a very long time.
But I’m focusing on the negatives admittedly. The fact that my moods are stable and headaches are gone should be proof enough that this WILL go away after more time passes, just need to be patient.
All this to say hopefully I’ll get the next chapter to you guys pretty soon.
Comments
No problem I was just asking for clarification haha. Thank you for joining! It's been a while since I've whined about my current condition but the tl;dr is I tried to get off 5mg of an antidepressant, it went very poorly and I was stubborn and ignored the signs that the withdrawal wasn't getting better. Been back on it for like 2 months now and while most of the other junk is starting to improve, the brain fog isn't. I wrote 3-5k words a day before all this and I'm currently down to .5-1.5k lately which considering it coincides with me having the first breakout hit of my career you can imagine I am not thrilled about lol. But I'm doing better than I was, have mostly accepted it knowing that antidepressant stuff IS reversible. It's just that I'm a workaholic and not being at my full strength is literal torture.
PunishedKom
2024-07-24 00:10:24 +0000 UTCYes to him sorry about that and I figured it wasn't that with you just based off the recent post I have seen also just joined so don't have your full story. I do have some mental health issues so I know somewhat how it feels
Christopher Clark
2024-07-23 23:23:18 +0000 UTCYou’re replying to him and not me right, just making sure cause Patreon is shit at this lol. My struggle isn’t adhd meds, I’ve got adderall for that.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 06:27:58 +0000 UTCThere's a medicine that doesn't have those effects. In fact my doctor tells me to take breaks off of it when I don't have anything important to do. It's called Focilin and the only side effect that I have had is that once you take it you are up for like12 hours minimum so don't take it at night. And I don't lose focus until like 20 hours after taking it. But that's just for ADHD.
Christopher Clark
2024-07-23 06:23:36 +0000 UTCUnderstandable haha, yeah I explicitly meant if I can’t write my own shit as well as I used to but can still generate infinite ideas then after a certain point I will need to look at options. And even when I have recovered, I still wouldn’t mind branching out with a partner.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 01:58:59 +0000 UTCFair, and I completely understand that I misunderstood the point. I had read it as a 'i need a lower stress outlet' as opposed to 'i need a subcontractor'
Mike Fannin
2024-07-23 01:55:08 +0000 UTCSince I’m talking about an actual professional collab I could make money from, no it’s very unrealistic. Too many cooks in the kitchen and a nightmare legally lmao.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 01:27:25 +0000 UTCWouldn't Mike's idea still work for that? You can create outlines and Lore and each High Tier Patreon gets a day or two (or however long you feel matches the length you desire) to write it and then you can pick one to tweak or even mix & match different ones if you want?
Tavis
2024-07-23 01:10:25 +0000 UTCYeah caffeine will do that to you, not a great solution lmao.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:52:55 +0000 UTCThat's a fun idea but it'd be a different story altogether if anything lol. Thank you for the support though, I feel better after all this.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:52:18 +0000 UTCThat was about as bad as it was when I finally made the decision to get back on them like two months ago lmao. It's significantly better than it was back then thankfully so I don't want to make it soundlike there's been zero progress.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:51:24 +0000 UTCThank you!
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:47:15 +0000 UTCIt might not sound like it but I've been a lot more chill about all this than I was a few months ago and I promise I'm not taking it hard on myself. It still upsets me but rather than letting it fester I just accept that my concentration is shit at night and play games or read usually lol. Also writing characters is usually the easiest part for me is the thing so thats why you know it's bad lmao. Idk why I chose now to vent because the other symptoms really have started clearing up so it should be a matter of time till this one does. Just randomly frustrated today I guess.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:46:51 +0000 UTCThank you, the venting helped haha
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:41:26 +0000 UTCThat is a very inspired idea but so, so far beyond what I have the mental energy to accomplish lol. And not the kind of collab writing I even meant, anyway. I meant like providing the lore and outlines and character documents and overseeing another author write the storywhile editing it and adding to it myself.
PunishedKom
2024-07-23 00:41:01 +0000 UTCI understand that brain fog all too well. I used to self medicate it with massive doses of caffeine, it'd work for a very short time but the crash was awful and the harm to my body was even worse. Now I still get them sometimes but they're more manageable.
Pulos
2024-07-23 00:24:27 +0000 UTCHope you fell better man, had a similar thing when I started my meds, was like my ears where full of wool and every thought had to go threw a slow queue at tsa and get an unfriendly pat down befor leaving the building
Coindragon
2024-07-22 23:41:43 +0000 UTCThat actually seems like quite a fun idea, I'd definitely participate.
Coindragon
2024-07-22 23:38:11 +0000 UTCHope you feel better very soon bro
Alex PvS
2024-07-22 23:35:10 +0000 UTCThrow up a collaborative storytelling event for people at a tier 2 or tier 3 sub. You could use a tool like Google Docs or something more focused (I have no experience with the idea, but a quick google search turned up a few websites like writealong.io, storium, or byline) to do the collab. Come up with a writing prompt, a theme, and a genre, each person gets a chance and xx minutes to write something. At the end of it, you've had a chance to watch a bunch of amateurs go through a minor modicum of the stress you do, HOPEFULLY get a good laugh out of it, and come up with a use for your higher patreon tiers. You could go one step further and take a higher tier, put up a long term project. You put up the same thing, but people get a day or so to take their turn and put out their best attempt. You'd have to manage it, somewhat, but it might give you some of the outlet your are discussing above.
Mike Fannin
2024-07-22 23:20:13 +0000 UTCEither way...it will get better my dude. We are here to support so rant away. Or send a pm if you don't want it public. Your fans got you!
Corac
2024-07-22 23:00:39 +0000 UTCI've been on a few adhd meds and can tell you that brain fog has always been so rough when going on and off those. Always feels like it takes almost a month to really get back in the swing of things after getting back on them. I hope you are not being too hard on yourself right now. With the meds and family I'm sure everyone understands you have a lot on your plate and we all would rather you take your time and take time off so you don't get burnt out. As for why writing lore without fuss that's due to writing that might just be easier as writing characters is just harder to me.
David
2024-07-22 23:00:32 +0000 UTCLet the chapters wait. Not in a hurry. Maybe side projects with another person where you have your cast have a game night/rp night with your co authers cast as a side story or something. Something like that could be a lot of fun to do where it's non-cannon but fun reads.
Corac
2024-07-22 22:57:10 +0000 UTCHope you feel better! :)
heh
2024-07-22 22:53:19 +0000 UTC
