Slight Revisions Incoming
Added 2024-04-05 21:30:45 +0000 UTCI’m still working on the next chapter but enough people have said something about it that I’m going to slightly revise 65 to make Zoe a little more into it. My intentions didn’t come through very well with the wording and I wrote it the way I did so that we’d get a bigger contrast with when she starts feeling more sexual, but it’s definitely not worth it if it alienates a few readers before that. I’ll be changing the wording so that she doesn’t feel ‘nothing’ and make it clearer that she’s into it on some level and that by the end she’s curious about more, but is still a little dismissive about it. Shouldn’t take me long to accomplish this, so I’ll probably do it after wrapping up next chapter.
Comments
Yup, totally fair. Looking forward to seeing where this is going! Good luck maintaining writing flow!
Chris Memmott
2024-04-06 01:06:48 +0000 UTCYes, if you didn't see it I've explicitly said she's demisexual multiple times! That's where we're heading. I think it will be very fun to explore her developing sexuality and knowing Oliver that's exactly how he'll handle it- maturely and with patience. It's also going to help bridge the gap with Mia a lot because she's suddenly having all these sexual feelings and her best friend is a hypersexual so she'll turn to her for help. Part of the reason I made Zoe so cocky and seemingly dominant is because the contrast when she's faced with something she has zero experience will be huge after the rug is pulled out from under her. I just didn't handle the early stuff very well so I'm going to touch it up a bit. Some people were already put off by her initially, I don't need them worried or weirded out by her thinking she's asexual on top of it. Not that I'm going to radically change course whenever I get criticism, I just happen to be in agreement with the few who pointed it out to me and I don't want to shoot myself in the foot especially when the solution is just to change a few paragraphs and add a few sentences implying she kinda likes it and is surprised that she does.
PunishedKom
2024-04-06 00:39:29 +0000 UTCAh, so going for a more 'demi-sexual' approach? That's someone who develops attraction through close emotional connections. I'm wondering if she should baulk when attraction pops up, then he takes it calmly and awesomely, is fine with her wanting to slow as he just wants her comfortable. Maybe they just play some games which actually is perfect way to handle her panic
Chris Memmott
2024-04-06 00:11:01 +0000 UTCI was actually already planning on bringing up eventually that her past experiences with arousal were towards game characters but the rest of what you’re saying is too soon. It’s just gonna be changed to subtly liking it because having it be so overwhelming right after she firsts meets him would really undermine the point that she feels greater arousal towards someone she has an emotional attachment to. Zoe’s sexuality is meant to be a crescendo that starts off slow, creeping up on her until it gets to the overwhelming point and we see her not know how to deal with it. So yes, we’ll get there, but we need to establish the baseline lol.
PunishedKom
2024-04-05 22:40:27 +0000 UTCMaybe instead of feeling nothing she is just uncertain what she is feeling? Like she has been aroused before but never towards an actual person, maybe brief flashes to a video or something? Maybe she stops the makeout and grind because it's overwhelming new sensation for her?
Chris Memmott
2024-04-05 22:32:40 +0000 UTC
