#338: "City Eater"

Like most weirdos, I spend a lot of idle time thinking about the nature of existence.  And it gets more pronounced around the start of a new year - something about another notch in the passage of time gets the mortality alert going, I guess.  When I was kid it was the reason I loved Art Bell and Sightings and books about UFOs and ghosts and such.  Aliens and exorcisms and Bigfoot make just as compelling of a case about what lies after death as any religious text does, you know?

One of the explanations for existence that I find both compelling and tragic is reincarnation.  Compelling because it contains such a great body of scientific evidence to support it.  There are even branches of universities devoted to the scientific study of reincarnation, like the University of Virginia’s Division of Perceptual Studies.  And tragic because, my god, when does it end?  And what of the people we have loved in our previous lives?

We talked about this a lot right after Zippy was born.  Maybe every new parent thinks this, but it seems like he understands more than he is able to say.  As if his comprehension exceeds his language capabilities.  Like, “ugh, why don’t you people understand what I’m trying to tell you?  Do I really have to learn this ridiculous language of yours in order to communicate with you?”  If there is any grain of truth to reincarnation, how frustrating must it be to remember your past lives, yet be restricted to the cultural norms and language of your geographic location and timeframe?

So, that’s what I’ve been working on in the song department recently.  This one is about a person who is aware of their previous incarnations and thinks, “this time around I’m gonna be a FUCKING GOD”, but really, all they truly care about is seeing the people they once loved in their previous lives again.

CITY EATER

I will swallow this city in one single bite.

I will undress and levitate up into the night.

I was lost, but I’m gathering, gathering everything into me.

I’ll take a breath and I’ll inhale every person’s regrets

Till I feel all your hearts beating inside my chest.

I was void, but I’m gathering, gathering everything back to me.

I’ll take a step and a crater will form in my wake.

Light a match and the glaciers will warm ‘til they break.

I will spin like a tropical thunderstorm gathering energy.

I’ll liquidize every moment that led to my death

I will synthesize life from my own dying breath.

I was gone, but I’m back, yes I’m back, and I’m better than ever.

But then the (F#)lights grow (E)dim, and I (F#)have to start over (E)again.

Where am I, where am (B)I?  Who am I, who am I (G# to G#m)?  Am I stuck here on a (Cm#)one loop train? Will I ever see the people (E) I’ve loved (Em) again?

I’ll be a baby as long as I have to be one

But god knows, I know more than I am letting on.

It’s this language you use, it feels silly and wrong in my mouth.

I’ll be a man if I gotta, be a woman if I must,

But this body will soon be dissolved into dust

So I’m here till I’m not.  Then I’m here till i’m not all over.      

Until the lights grow dim…