Coffee with That? (TG RC Bimbo)
Added 2023-02-18 10:57:20 +0000 UTCA Commission for Waaaghan
Comments
Well, I thought it was good! Love the transition of the wallflower becoming a tall thick extroverted goddess of a woman, and you did a fantastic job showing her increased empathy and emotional intelligence, though how she got stuck felt a little tacked-on imo
Halima Abdi
2023-02-18 23:40:24 +0000 UTCI've fixed up the errors I could find and corrected the Old Man being called Jared. I am genuinely appreciative of my readers pointing out where I trip up, particularly since in this type of work you often can't rely on another editor. But please don't claim that a slip up means I don't work very hard on these stories. I devote 3-4 hours of my day to this output, if not more.
Fox Face
2023-02-18 20:17:14 +0000 UTC"She weaved her hand through the hair, and I couldn’t believe what I saw next: her hand emanated a neon green glow, which sparkled out from her hand and slammed into Jared’s chest, causing his eyes to go wide. “What the!?” But I was silenced by what happened next. In a matter of mere seconds, the old man’s form bubbled and shifted"
Yoni Time
2023-02-18 13:47:17 +0000 UTCStory hops from first to third person with Jared being referenced separately along with I. The use of bad AI models is heavily showing.
Yoni Time
2023-02-18 13:45:54 +0000 UTC
