Getting (Un)Lucky REMASTERED

Another one of my first captions gets the remaster treatment....And practically becomes a entirely new story in the process. New names, new and expanded details, some stuff has been shifted around to make the narrative better...Overall a massive improvement over the original. Not to mention in a readable format this time. And for comparison as to just how much has changed, I've included the original caption as well.

I've always liked this picture. Much as I like the supermodels, thick chicks are probably my preferred body type. Also, dat ass.

TEXT

Don't be so quick to say that the guy grabbing those big handfuls of ass is getting lucky. By the end of the night, those handfuls will be all that's left of him, just fatty tissue padding out my ass or my boobs. Hey, don't judge me, it's not like I wanted to be banging a bunch of gnarly, stinky, handsy dudes every Friday night to be my life!

I don't know how it happened, or how I become the knockout getting fondled by this loser. One moment I was just another dude-bro like this guy, just trying to get to my job at the pizza place next to the college campus. Then there was a huge flash of blue light, the sky went dark and crazy rainbow lightning started flashing everywhere! I ran as fast as I could for cover...But I was never in that great of shape. I never felt any pain, but I guess one of the bolts of that crazy weird lightning hit me because then everything went blue! And when the world came back into focus I was...a woman! And somehow I'd been transported from the campus lawn to the women's bathroom of some hair salon! And all of it in an instant! When I looked at myself in the mirror, I was pretty, a little exotic, but I had very little figure to speak of underneath the colorful (if tight) clothes! My hair was jet black, my nose was a little tall, but I had NO boobs or ass to speak of! I must have been Greek or something, a far cry from my African-American roots! And my dick...It was GONE! Instead it had been replaced by nothing more than a neatly trimmed bush around what I thought was a terrifying slit! I slid a slender finger down towards it, barely touching it as shivers of pleasure rushed through my body...along with a sudden hunger. I was starving! Oh god, this was really happening! I was a woman! When I finally got the courage to scream, it came out as more of a moan now that my voice was sultry, oozing with sex appeal. Then there was a bang at the door, causing me to scream again, my new eyes going wide.

"Hey, Niki! You better not be rubbing carpet in there again! Get your skinny ass out here! We've got clients!" The nasally, Brooklyn-esque voice belonged to a woman. I was silent for a moment before the banging started once more, "Hey, you hearin' me? Get out and work of get out!"

"O-okay!" I muttered, hearing my own exotic accent for the first time as my trembling, small hand grasped the cheap doorknob and I exited the small bathroom into a hair salon! The small redhead in front of me gave me a disapproving look and practically shoved me in front of a barber chair, where an older woman was waiting, a similar look of judgement on her face.

"Well, Mrs. Kowalski isn't paying for you to just stand around!" The little redhead hissed again, and even though I had ZERO knowledge of how to do hair (I had worked at a pizza shop and was studying to be a banker!) I picked up the nearby scissors and began working. And surprisingly, I did a good job! Whatever had done this, whatever had changed me from a 6'1 African-American guy into this 5'3 Niki girl must have messed with my brain as suddenly I just...KNEW what to do with this old woman's hair! After a while I just sort of fell into a workflow as the salon music and the constant hustle of clients kept me from focusing on how different my body moved and felt now! Eventually the last client exited, a satisfied look on her face, and Ruby, the little redhead supervisor, waved me the door as she counted the money in the till. And then I was alone on the streets of a much larger city that, had it not been for the landmarks, I wouldn't have recognized at all! I was in New York City, having somehow been transported there from the west coast! I fumbled with the purse that had been in my tiny locker in the backroom of the salon, the one that had read 'Niki Marinos'. In it was a collection of makeup, some mace, a set of keys and my new (and very pink!) cellphone...And a small money clip that had my new driver's license on it. Everything about me was different! I was five years older! I scanned the address and decided that, as a woman on the streets of one of the largest cities in the world, it might have been better to just get 'home', whatever that might have been now. I flagged down a taxi and spent the next hour trying to call someone, ANYONE who remembered who I used to be! Not even my parents remembered me! not to mention getting ogled at by the driver...That for some reason looked a little hunky? I felt the tingle between my legs and the hunger came back twice as bad as it had been before! Thankfully before I made the mistake of pulling him into the backseat, he dropped me off at what thankfully looked to be a decent apartment building. I fumbled with my keys, opened the door, and sprinted up the stairs to 'Apartment 15b'. I slammed the door shut behind me without even looking and sank to the floor as exhaustion overtook me and I began crying! Of course, I didn't have much time to myself before I realized there was some kind of Jazz music playing...And a stunningly curvy Black woman came around the corner of the small hallway, a knife in her hand and a scared look on her face!

"Who the fuck are you!? How did you get in here!?" She demanded, her accent poshy and extremely British, "Get out! Before I call the police!"

"B-but my l-license says I l-live here!" I bawled, looking up at her with my tear-streaked face, the makeup that had been put on my face whenever...whatever had happened getting ruined with each hot, salty drop. I even held out license, which this stranger jerked out of my hands and began analyzing as I continued to just bawl like the woman I now was on the floor, "T-this is all w-wrong! I'm s-suppos'd t'be a-a GUY! AND WHY I'M I S-SO HUNGRY!?"

"...Shit!" The new woman muttered, and she set the knife down before coming over and pulling me to my feet before embracing me in an awkward hug, "Christ, I'm so sorry!" She held me until the tears finally stopped coming. I knew I ruined the nice shirt that barely held in her boobs, but she didn't seem to mind. "I'm Jeneva. I used to be a guy too" She said with an apologetic smile as she guided me to the couch in the apartment's living room. "I knew something was up when a bunch of new stuff appeared! Let me explain what happened...As best as I can, anyway" Apparently we were the victims of the 'Scrambling', some pseudo-magical, pseudo-technological event that had led to men and women all over the world being transported into new lives and bodies! Jeneva had been a Japanese businessman named Takeshi in Tokyo before waking up in her twenty-year younger British-Nigerian body...And had been living like this for a YEAR before I suddenly arrived! Plenty of time to realize she knew nothing about business...but SHE was an expert makeup artist that worked on Broadway plays, and time enough for her to discover the online community of others who had been changed in similar ways. But she had started off looking just like me; a stick-woman, pretty but otherwise plain...And filled with a hunger that no food could fill. Instead, Jeneva simply got more and more hungry and weak...Until she finally caved to both the new desires in her body and had sex with a cast member of the play she was working on!

"Darling, it was INCREDIBLE!" She gushed, her face lighting up with delight, "I fucked him right there in the makeup chair! But what I didn't expect was that, when I, well, came...He would suddenly get sucked right up into me!" She pointed to her large boobs that hunge off her chest, "When he disappeared, THESE grew! And the hunger...The hunger went away!" And despite the man going missing, no one seemed to suspect Jeneva...Or the fact that she'd grown a cup size. In fact, even when she tried to admit it, people just seemed to ignore her! A month rolled by, her boobs shrank away, and the hunger had begun again. She had made another attempt to ignore it, but the result had just been the same; eventually Jeneva just gave in to the first man she had seen...And regained her boobs. Eventually she was just having sex every other week, and absorbing the guys into her body, turning sexier and curvier each time. It was just life for her now...And was going to be life for me, as well! I tried to fight it, but eventually I found myself crawling on top of a guy in the bathroom of the bar across from the salon a week later. The feeling of his cock sliding into me was AMAZING...And then he was gone, his grunts fading away as his body melted into mine, my ass growing and the awful, dreadful hunger FINALLY leaving. But it wasn't long before I needed another man to...eat. And the more I ate...the sexier, curvier I became!

"I think we're vampires or something. There's another girl in Finland, she used to be some gangster in Brazil or soemthing, dealing with this also. She's been calling us Succubi. I think it fits" Jeneva said with a shrug one night over some wine (neither of us can stand beer anymore), "But at least WE don't have to be teenagers again! Makes this SO much easier! Imagine trying to find guys when you do ballet and can barely drive! ...Christ, what a way to live, right? God, I used to wish there was a way to change back, but I guess if we're stuck like this, it isn't TOO bad, right? At least there's plenty of shitty guys here that won't be missed!"

And she was right. Drunk, but right. We're stuck like this, feasting on our lovers to survive. We at least try not to eat nice guys, the dregs and drunks do just fine. So the next time you see a curvy chick riding some guy way beloew her league...Don't judge. And don't think he's getting lucky.