POP SONG REVIEW: "WAP" by Cardi B ft. Megan thee Stallion

I don't watch this video and think: this is for men to wank to. I see it and think about all the Drag Queens and cabaret artists who will be doing look-alike acts inspired by WAP. The visuals of the song make me think about my local Burlesque scene or the next season of Drag Race. It's sexual....but styling doesn't strike me as the sort of stuff focused on the Male Gaze. That'd be more Arianna in "Love Me Harder".

Sincere question: is this video appealing to straight men? Cardi and Megan are all dolled up in Barbie and Nickelodeon colours, their outfits match the gorgeous décor and they wear impossible wigs/weaves with dyed hair and theatrically impractical nails (the last two being things I have specifically heard straight dudes moan about).

I'm late to the party but I'm sorry, this song is just complete dogshit. The beat is BORING. Nothing to it at all. Am I offended by it? Do I think it's vulgar? No. It's just played out and lazy. My Neck My Back did the exact same thing 12 years ago. And it had a good beat. Women rapping about the vaginas isn't groundbreaking or interesting. It can be fun! And there are plenty of great sex jams out there, but this ain't one of them. And again, there's zero original about it. And I always find it interesting that 90% of the "empowering" songs by black women are hypersexual fuck jams about their asses or pussies. It must just be a coincidence that all these "empowering" songs by women just happen to appeal to straight men while at the same time perpetuating racist stereotypes about black female sexuality. Empowering feminism that fits every need of the racist patriarchy. It sucks and I hate that people give it a pass because they're afraid of not sounding woke enough.

James Eldred

I like the image of the "whores in this house" chant coming from a preacher. Personally I think of it coming from a gospel preacher on full tilt joy going "PA-RAAAAAISE THE WHORES!"

You are a brave man Todd.

The pop stars that are going to try to emulate WAP but fail miserably are going to power Todd's content for the next 3 years.

Juan Nunez

I wasn't ready for WAPtarts

Raymond

Right?! Honestly LOL. But frankly I’d like to hear the full version of that.

C. Puffer

How the heck are you going to post this to YouTube -- whose censors makes Tucker Carlson and Ben Shapiro look like Libertines -- with all the obscenities and adult language and adult situations? Or are you going to post a 15 minute of kittens and have a link to the Vimeo video?

Steve

This may just be me, but I find that sliver of brightly lit wall in the upper right corner of the frame really distracting. If you scale up your video by maybe 2% you'd get rid of it. Don't know if it's worth another export, but I feel better now having said something.

Jacob Roth

Laughed harder at the spam ad than I have at anything for months

Nowhere Girl

"And that's gonna make my job a lot harder." Yes, Todd, I bet it will ;)

Jiashu Xing

Nah, the Shapiros and Carlsons of the world would make a thing of this no matter what. Conservatives hate fun.

You need to make a full Mashup of the WAP twist

Ed Thee Goose

That bit at 12:15 had me hollering!

Owen W

hell ye

Creamer

The reason the Shapiros and Carlson tried to turn this into a thing is obvious: The Republican Party drove the country into a ditch during an election year and they're hoping that WON'T ANYBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!!!!! will keep President Manbaby in office. This is the same as freaking out over "Louie Louie" and comic books, only the people stoking this are even dumber.

Kristopher Bluth

When will Todd finally start leveling his audio so the blasting music isn't immediately followed by his barely audible voice

I wonder what they do with Bloodhound Gang.

Beau Dure

The radio edit cencored the word "bucket".... bucket!

Fair point about the hypersexual songs at a time when many are more distant and lonelier than ever. I'm not shocked or scandalized, just bored. It's like a live action cartoon or an Onlyfans ad and all I noticed in the video was how poorly fitting their bras were in some scenes, and how uncomfortable that must've been.

Cristina Youngren

WAP-Tarts

No you don't sound like Ben Shapiro, you're hilarious in a good way.

Toryana Frazier

Hearing you call the song "W.A.P" the entire time did make me chuckle, all my friends and I call it "wap" like one word.

Get past Black and white and see music as shades of grey, and all the shades of the rainbow too. Artists from all over have been inspired by each other, and this is what birthed Jazz. This song isn't much more offensive than Howard Stern used to be. Think of it as Shock Rap, just trolling you. Looks like it worked.

Stephen Gillie

“It’s all about interior design” Their house looked like shit

I want to believe that you bought a pot just to make this joke.

Alina

It's fun to get different perspectives on the same art. Rarely do these 2 reviewers find an intersection.

Stephen Gillie

JUST made your two a month huh?

Josh Spicer

I find this song unappealing more for its beat than anything else. It just feels so brash and stilted, like every other song with Cardi B. I don't get the song's hype at all aside from effective PR.

Jacqueline Sailer

I nearly screamed because I was perilously close to agreeing with Ben Shapiro, but then he made the accidental Bloodhound Gang reference. But maybe that’s the point. I’m not intimidated by sexually confident women. I’m intimidated by the prospect that I’m a racist hypocrite if I listen to Bloodhound Gang and Liz Phair while this leaves me with a limp-ass ,,, hey, that could be a great answer song. But Liz Phair is going for something different - regret, nuance, etc. Just like July Talk, who in a perfect world would be in the Top 40 instead of Maroon 5. And Bloodhound Gang is just funnier. Nothing in WAP is as classic as doing it doggy-style so we can watch X-Files. Perhaps it’s culturally insensitive of me to be turned off by this, in part because using the n-word and “ho” has gone past “reclaiming the word” to “normalizing,” which is painfully obvious if you ever check out a trending topic on Twitter. Besides, I’m old enough to remember when “Black music” meant meaningful R&B (Stevie Wonder), rap with a message (Public Enemy), jazz and even (gasp!) rock. So now we White people embrace “Black music,” but only as long as they’re using bad words and shoving their comically oversized breasts in our face. Yay?

Beau Dure

Oh Todd technically updating last minute and doing a review Rap Critic already did.... still going to be awesome and funny though so don't think I'm hating.

Neo Ultra Mike

No Todd you don't sound like a lame-ass dork like that Shapiro jackass does. I doubt COVID had anything much to do with this song getting big. Songs about sex don't make me uncomfortable at all since I never really did that sort of thing even before this happened.

RedBedroomRecords

Fine. I'll put my hand up with the prudes. The song is vulgar, gross and I don't enjoy it. Not being a big fan of hip-hop probably doesn't give me a natural predisposition to it anyway. I don't know if it's going for shock value, but if it was, it probably needed to come out before Nicki Minaj did "Anaconda". Like Todd said, women singing about sex is hardly new. Thanks for this review Todd - solid work as usual - but I'm still giving this song a hard pass myself. Those who enjoy it (and there seem to be plenty of you) are welcome to it.

Macaroni in a pot Is the best lyric if 2020!😸💦

Jess

I was hoping you'd get to this. Excellent review

Was that "wonderful ass pasta" Mom's spaghetti?

Cannot recommend enough.

That post-credits gag was great; always a welcome surprise to see in a Todd review

Rei The Gei

In case you didnt see the wonderful Disney version https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc40g90e3o0

Mike Isasi

You always slay me with the end credit song, but this one is definitely my favorite.

Ironically, I think Ben Shapiro showing outrage over this got it more popular than ever. It's surprising that didn't cause "Imagine" by John Lennon to rechart.

Thomas Carmody

The edited version is hilarious!

"not a dry *eye*" is such a good joke in this video

Salem Blake

Awesome review, and I like the new style of thumbnails! There’s a bit around the 3:50 mark I think? After the “Hank Hill” clip, there’s a second of footage that could cut more precisely (I’m not a video editor; I don’t know the words. haha)

Franco del Rosario

Bringing back that macaroni joke at the end was great.

It's early, but this might be one of your best reviews to date. Every punchline landed perfectly, and I laughed at least four times during it. I guess that warm-up on Powfu did wonders.

Colton Moore

But I do feel like I have to bring this up https://youtu.be/jWsx2iqO1ks

Riley Greenstein

This review rules!!! And don't worry, you don't sound like Ben Shapiro at all

Riley Greenstein

I didnt notice any mistakes just wanted to say your commentary here is incredible thank you

Damian Behymer

😂😂

Claire McChesney

Waptarts

Damian Behymer

Great vid! You missed a golden opportunity to say Wet Ass Poptarts, though

Asa Sweet

At the turn of midnight. From the top, Todd made it drop.

Gilbert Cortes

I was so hoping we'd get a Todd review for this one!

Shiny Skunk