What lies in the negative space?

I like to keep it positive and feel like a PMA (Positive Mental Attitude) is essential to survival but struggle with negativity sometimes. Especially when when I’m in the flow of my creative process, I tend to have moments of doubt or even panic. I’m coming to realize that these down times are essential to my creative process.

Without my intense self directed criticism I wouldn’t push myself into uncomfortable territory. Creativity, in large part is about being uncomfortable.

Most of our progress takes place because we are seeking to be more comfortable, now or in the future, emotionally or financially. Comfort or the promise of it alone, is a comforting thought and we will fight for it. That causes conflict and self doubt. Self doubt is an important piece because it’s self doubt that holds us back and keeps us safe. Self doubt is a protective bubble. It assures we never feel the sting of rejection. But if we never feel rejected how will we know the feeling of acceptance? Because we know the discomfort of disapproval we appreciate the comfort of approval. Right? Our growth and joy depend on moments of discomfort and disappointment. It’s ok to feel that pain deeply and grieve what we envisioned, but try to take that opportunity to grow. Look at where you fell short, Go back to the drawing board, take a look at it with fresh eyes, get opinions from those you actually trust or respect. Don’t ask baking advice from a shoe maker. Focus and move forward through the ugly parts. Sometimes it will hurt. When it hurts, ask yourself if it’s worth the pain. If it’s a yes then proceed with a self care plan. Plan for success even when your feeling down. Do what you can to protect your physical and mental health first then care for everything else. Feel your feelings, grieve and let them wash away like a wave. Tell someone you trust if you’re feeling like you need to talk and allow someone to share the weight of what you’re feeling. Always ask if they have the emotional space for you before you spill your guts though. Don’t just dump it without permission. We don’t know where someone else is emotionally or if they have the ability to hold that weight in that moment. Don’t take it personally if they say “Give me 24 hours and I’m all ears”. Sometimes folks have to make physical and emotional space to receive that energy and that’s ok. Boundaries in friendships are good.

If you reflect and feel like it’s not worth working for, just forgive yourself before you start to judge yourself. Choose another path and move forward. It’s ok to choose another direction. It’s ok to sleep for a few days or be emotionally exhausted or exhausting. Just stay alive and keep moving until you feel well enough to go full speed again.

Success means different things to different people. Some folks are successful just to wake up and breathe or be near family for another day, other folks find success in money and job security, marriage, pregnancy, education etc. look for where you want to feel successful and put your focus there. It will cost you friendships and relationships, jobs, money, comfort and sanity at times so choose wisely. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to accomplish your goals. Don’t rush creativity. Evolve with it.

What do you learn from your emotional down time?

How do you find your way out of negative and unproductive thought patterns?