“Everything’s trash but it’s ok”

...”women are conditioned to waste hours, days, weeks, months (although, truth be told, it's most likely years) doubting, undermining, and ultimately hating parts, if not all, of themselves based solely on "problems" with their bodies that can be solved by buying products from an industry that invented these problems in the first place. How fucking convenient. And when all is said and done, what is the prize for this self-torture? Fitting neatly within society's destructive narrative about the female body.”

Phoebe Robinson

“Everything's Trash, But It's Okay”

I feel this deeply. While It’s not only women who endure this beauty industry abuse and self sabotage. I’ve heard some tragic self sabotage from men also but it is primarily women who are subjected to these messages of aesthetic ineptitude on a daily basis.

We all feel the sting of feeling not good enough from time to time. When those feelings hit I catch my balance and count my blessings. I stop, empty my mind of the negative bullshit and focus on what I do have. What parts of me make life exciting and fun or make me feel safe, comfortable or sexy etc.

As much as we try to fill the void with superficial things, there is absolutely nothing you can buy that can quench the incredible thirst for things that insecurity can instill in us. Commercials and tv shows are continually reminding us of our unworthiness and inability to “fit in” so we seek the magic pill that will make us more popular among our peers.

A huge part of caring for my mind when I’m feeling insecure is turning off the social media monster. Sometimes for hours, sometimes for days. You don’t have to reach out to everybody on social media and let them know that you’re going away for a minute. You don’t have to make any excuses or make any big statements about it. Just take some time away to breathe, get in touch with yourself and with nature and appreciate the moments in life that inspire you feel goodness.

Feeling sexy is a very personal thing. Some people never feel it, some people always feel it, and then most of us live somewhere in between. Sometimes I feel sexy but sexy is not the gauge by which I monitor my mental, physical or emotional health.

Instead of looking to feel sexy, I look for moments of joy. Catching myself in the mirror and seeing the silver in my hair is a joyful moment for me, brushing my teeth and noticing that they are all still there tells me that I have worked hard to take care of them and that makes brushing my teeth a joyful moment for me, looking down at my two legs and being thankful that I have them both to carry me around or dance on stage sparks joy for me, taking a hot bath and watching my ever growing breasts float on top of the water makes me giggle and feel silly and sexy.

As you can see, joy and sexiness have one thing in common, if not more. They are both healthy, exciting, fleeting moments that we should encourage ourselves to sit in when we can.

Joy, happiness, sexiness are not a destination, they are the journey. When those moments come, embrace them, don’t apologize for them, don’t expect anybody else to understand or validate them, you don’t need to over explain yourself, just embrace those moments when they present themselves.

Allow yourself to be beautiful, joyful, sexy or handsome right now, today, as is. Because you are.