Best Friends (DA Request)

Here's a monthly request from one of my DeviantArt subscribers. Releasing here a few days before publicly posting to DeviantArt. Hope you like it!

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It’s hard not to laugh every time I think about him down there. After a year of nervous and dead-end 'hellos', he somehow mustered up the courage to tell my best friend about his super-obvious crush (highschool much?). I was just going to ignore it but one of my girlfriends dared me to tell him that I’d think about it if he’d agree to shrink down and live in my butt. I didn’t think that he would agree to it! So just for fun, I raised the stakes a little. He’d have to be my little fart absorber and he’d also be in charge of making sure my you-know-what is always clean. And get this…he wouldn’t even be my boyfriend.

Nope!

With this deal, he’d get to be my ‘best friend.’ And he still said yes! It’s hilarious, really. My butt’s always been big but it is absolutely huge compared to him now. My cheeks practically swallow him whole when I walk, exercise, and especially when I sit down. And he’s so small, he barely even registers to me…except when I can feel that little tongue of his cleaning!

And now, two years later, he pretty much lives in my butt all day every day. The ironic thing is that he

actually was kinda cute before I shrank him. But how could I have any respect for something that literally absorbs my farts? I must have blasted him with my gas a billion times by now.

And get this–he actually likes it! Mm-hmm! Any time I let one loose, I can literally feel him burrowing into my crack like he doesn’t want to miss a molecule of it. Yuck!

Or maybe he's trying to get away from it? Who knows... Either way, he’s not boyfriend material—please, not even close! Last time I checked, real men don’t live between butt cheeks. But if he wants to call my butt his new “forever home" and be all smitten by my big plump cheeks, who am I to stand in the way of true love? A guy as pitiful as him couldn’t ask for a more fitting relationship than with my glutes. And if I don’t have to smell my own toots, even better.                                             

Speaking of which, I feel some rumbling! Time to put you away, my little best friend (lol!). You’d better crawl back in deep before you miss it!