Chapter 35 - Blood, Bath, and Beyond

Characters – 

Felix Sutter: Poor boy living in Sacramento, recently found out magic existed. Hard worker, knows the price of everything.

Christopher Mau: The black cat. 3rd year Dragon student. Possibly has nine lives. Unusually lucky and dexterous.

Beatrix Brynwyll: 3rd year dragon student. A little uptight.

 The coffers bled silver as gifts flowed like spring thaw -
But the vaults of Dublin Castle had been taken whole.
And Ronan, the spared steward, still wove gold from old channels,
Keeping the river of coin alive.
For now, the duchy glittered.

The Saga of Bjorn, Verse 40

============

“You should put that away.” Beatrix said. “You’ll put someone’s eye out.”

“You’ll put your eye out.” Chris said, taking an exaggerated step away from Felix.

“Dumb question.” Felix said. “Where? Do I just… stick it in my pocket or something?”

Chris sniggered.

“Only if you want witches to ask if you’re happy to-”

Beatrix swatted Chris before he could finish his sentence, and he grabbed his beret to stop it falling off.

“Usually a wand holder. Poor ones are along your forearm or thigh, good ones are in a ring. If you must, in your bag or tucked into your belt.”

Felix wasn’t lucky enough to have a belt, but was able to carefully slip it into his bag.

“Let’s go to Blood, Bath, and Beyond.” Chris said. “We need to pick up our supplies.”

The three started walking.

“Thank Hecate it’s not second year anymore.” Beatrix looked upwards. “Potions was miserable.” 

“That a second year class?” Felix asked.

“Yeah, you’ll take it as part of your ritual class.” Chris said. “Do you know who your professor is yet?”

Felix shook his head.

“I don’t think so.” He said. “Do I need to do anything special with my wand? Like, it’s clover. Is that going to peel off, or fade or something? Do I need to water it? Find replacement clover?”

Chris and Beatrix traded a look before bursting out laughing.

“No, no, you’re fine. Just don’t polish it, most standard kits will degrade your wand.” Beatrix said.

“And don’t say you’re polishing your wand in polite company.” Chris said with a completely straight face. “It doesn’t mean what you think it means.”

“I will hex you.” Beatrix threatened. “Middle of the street or not, lost points or not.”

“For what?” Chris asked with wide-eyed innocence. “Properly tutoring and mentoring Sutter here? Letting him know all the perils of magical life?”

Beatrix grumbled into dark mutterings, and the three of them continued shopping. 

Blood, Bath, and Beyond was an odd mix of home decor and supplies, along with ritual and potion paraphernalia. One aisle held rows of fluffy towels of all sizes, the next one was vats of neatly labeled blood with spigots at the bottom. The soaps had floral scents and were made out of rendered chimera fat. ‘The best for driving away lingering odors!’ Rat livers had scoopers in them, and were next to the shower curtains. The throw rugs had summoning circles stitched in them, and were placed next to the pestles and mortars. Some of the ingredients had wild names, like salt of the moon, candied eye of newt, and otter ichor. Plungers promised to unclog spiritual, magical, or plumbing blockages. Cutting boards were advertised to have been made out of coffin lids, and there was an entire endcap of DIY bloodline tests.

Felix stared at the last one hungrily. 39 denarii for one.

He thought he was over this.

One day. He promised to himself. Blood, Bath, and Beyond had all of the core supplies he needed. Ritual slates, divination dishes, abacus, and a mirror. 3 aureli and 13 denarii.

“Fuck.” He said, putting the mirror down.

“What’s wrong?” Chris asked. “Your face isn’t that bad.”

“I am hexing you when we get back to the castle.” Beatrix’s voice was serene, almost dreamy. “I’m going to lose all the points, but I’m going to hex you into a rat when we get back.”

Chris gasped in horror.

“But I’m a cat!” He wailed.  “You can’t turn me into a rat!” He paused. “Wait, transfiguration doesn’t really work as an art anyway.” 

“I don’t care.” Beatrix said, all fucks having flown away. “I will create an entirely new branch of magic just to turn you into a rat. Sutter, what’s wrong?”

“Uniforms aren’t going to be 75 denarii in total, are they?” He asked.

“No… you’ll be lucky if you can get one shirt for that price.” Chris said.

Felix looked down at the magic equipment he had. MAGIC equipment. Ritual slate - 49 denari, the cheapest one in the store. Divination dish - 39 denari in the clearance section, tarnished sterling silver. Abacus - 9 denari, skipping it would be a waste. And the mirror, 66 denari, which seemed like a sneaky way of not saying it cost more than an aureli.

Then a uniform was required. Shirt, pants, belt, socks, shoes at the very least. A cape, beret, and ascot were also on Dragon house’s list. Part of it felt terrible, but Felix supposed robes, ties, and hats basically balanced it out cost-wise.

Not the first time he had to play the ‘what can I get’ game, wouldn’t be the last. Felix started to reluctantly walk around the store, putting the supplies back on the shelf. There was no need to fight any tears, he was well resigned to his lot in life.

Lucky core. As if. Unlucky core, maybe.

Actually, that’d explain a lot. A weak resonance with lucky things could be because he had a cursed life, right? What creatures had shitty luck?

Either way, the uniform was more important than the secondary supplies. He might not do as great in some of the classes, but he could maybe bum off some supplies. Take turns using a mirror. Follow along other people’s abacus calculations. It wasn’t great, but it was manageable. A lack of uniform though? Detention, lost points, and they’d throw him out. Expelled was worse than a few poor grades, it was no contest.

While they were in the store, a number of other students started to enter and browse, trying to get ahead on their shopping. Felix was glad to have beaten the rush.

“Not buying anything?” Beatrix asked as they went to the front of the store.

“Eh. Not right now.” Felix awkwardly explained. “I’ll get it later.”

“Dragon’s Dress Den?” Beatrix asked.

“Can we go back to the castle and pick up our staves first?” Chris said. 

“Oh, just duck.” Beatrix said with a huff. The three of them navigated Corwin and ended up at a dingy store right at the edge of what Felix would call ‘the bad part of town.’

They paused outside the door.

“Old Man Henderson is… a character.” Beatrix admitted. “He’s got a habit of blasting anyone walking in through the front door.”

“How the hell is he still in business?” Felix wondered.

“Only person selling Dragon uniforms.” Chris said cheerfully. “Plus, he’s one of ours. Practically a rite of passage.”

“We don’t usually tell the newcomers.” Beatrix confessed. “We let them discover his particular charms themselves.”

“Yeah, but they usually have a spell or two to protect themselves with.” Chris said. “And they still have their wands. Right, let’s get this over with. Clear the entryway!”

Chris slammed the door open.

“Heya!” He shouted, then started dodging.

Felix’s mouth dropped open at the acrobatic display. Chris just moved in a way that completely defied his skeletal structure, bending in ways that should be impossible. Streaks of spells blasted through the door, and Felix stood off to the side with Beatrix.

“What do you want, Mau?” A gruff voice called from the inside.

“Shopping, of course!” He said. “I brought some friends, can they come in?”

A loud snort, followed by a phlegmy cough.

“Not too bloody likely. Liable to be all soft, after the summer you’ve all had.”

“Aw, don’t be like that.” Chris said. “We’ve got a new hatchling with us! A tadpole even! Ran straight into the wall of fire to join.”

“You’re shitting me.” Henderson said, followed by a hacking cough.

“Nope!” Chris said. “Then the Commander offered to let him re-sort, and he said no! Come on, I’m giving you a warning, you can’t pretend to be surprised that he’s walking through the door or anything.”

Chris then lowered his voice, and had a low, hushed conversation with Old Man Henderson.

“Well, what are you lot waiting for? I don’t have all day, get in here!” He shouted.

Felix and Beatrix walked in, and Henderson started blasting. Half-expecting it, Felix dropped to the ground.

Beatrix wasn’t quite so lucky. She took the first red bolt to the chest and was blasted out of the store. Henderson grinned, and his smile almost had more gaps than teeth.

“Oh come ON!” Chris threw his hands up in the air. “I thought you weren’t going to shoot him.”

“You said nothing about your other little friend.” Henderson grouched back. “My aim was perfect.”

Felix peeked up.

“Hi?” He ventured. “I’d like to buy a uniform?”

“Well, get up!” Henderson yelled. “You can’t buy shit lying on the floor!” He shook his head. “Standards around morning PT must’ve fallen. Why, back in my day…”

Felix ignored the long, rambling story Henderson was telling. Something about swimming with icebergs and needing to fight off sharks larger than he was with nothing more than a pair of nail clippers. He needed to stop every other sentence to cough, and Felix despaired at getting sick during his first week. That was JUST what he needed.

“Are you alright?” Felix asked after a particularly bad bout of coughing made him think Henderson was about to expire on him.

“Don’t mind me.” He graveled out. “Death has one finger on me already.”

Seemed dramatic. The store was… exactly what Chris had said. Rows and rows of the exact same Dragon house uniform, in different sizes. There seemed to be a reluctant concession to men's and women’s shirts, but nothing on the rest.

The first shirt Felix grabbed to take a closer look at glowed in a bunch of different colors. He jumped and dropped it, and the colors faded. He slowly picked the shirt back up, and it glowed red again, with the arms being orange.

“Sizing comparison charm.” Chris said. “The red means it really doesn’t fit. The orange means it almost fits. You’re looking for something that’s all green.”

 Felix found a set that glowed all green, then mentally added another inch to every dimension and grabbed a set in that size, glowing orange all over. Same with the shoes, he found the right pair, then got a pair one size larger. 

In the middle of all that, Beatrix limped back into the store, rubbing her chest and brushing dust off her clothes.

“Do I need a beret, or can I get away with always staying inside?” He whispered to Beatrix. Her eyes flickered to his head.

“We’ve got a couple in the lost and found.” She whispered back. “They’re often left behind when students graduate.”

One man’s trash was Felix’s treasure, and it wasn’t like it was shoes or a belt or something with long-term use. He brought everything up to the counter.

“You stupid or something, boy?” Henderson growled. “One set of uniform? One? What’s going to happen when you spill milk on it?” He laughed uproariously, like he’d just told the funniest joke. 

“Clean it.” Felix deadpanned.

“Not when you’ve got class later. These are too big for you.” Henderson threw the uniform back at Felix. “Grab a set in the right size, pipsqueak.”

Felix put the uniform back on the counter.

“Isn’t it my business what size to get?” He asked.

“Not when you’re making Dragon house look bad.” Henderson grouched back.

“I’ll grow into it.”

“Not when you shred it to pieces tripping over a pantleg that’s too long.”

Felix stomped in frustration.

“Can I just buy it!?”

Henderson stared at him for a long minute, clearly working it over.

“Three aureli for the set.” He finally said.

That would leave with him 1 aureli and 38 denarii for everything else. He could get the abacus and one other item. Probably the ritual slate. Maybe he’d check with Chris.

Felix reluctantly handed over the three gold coins. Chris and Beatrix were behind him in line, each of them buying multiple sets of uniforms.

He did the math and shut up when he realized he’d paid less per piece than the other two Dragons. Struck with a sudden inspiration of boldness and a desire to refill his pocketbook, Felix asked Henderson a question.

“Do you need someone to watch the store while you’re out?” He asked. Nothing about protecting his fellow Dragons from getting cursed crossed his mind.

“Nope. Only open a few weeks every year.” Henderson promptly denied him, before coughing out a hunk of phlegm. “Ask your fellows if you can run down here and do their shopping for them if you’re looking for extra coin.”

They all left, and Felix hesitated before taking the plunge.

“Between the divining mirror, ritual slate, and divination dish, which one is the most important?” He asked.

Beatrix and Chris traded an inscrutable look.

“Get the ritual slate.” Beatrix said. 

A quick stop at Blood, Bath, and Beyond saw Felix getting a slightly nicer ritual set and an abacus, before they all headed back up to the castle. A number of students were just starting to pour through.

“Lunch?” Chris asked. Felix did a double take.

“Wait, it’s lunchtime?” He asked. He’d thought it was much later than that!

“It’s amazing how productive we can be when we get up early.” 

Beatrix’s tone was definitely smug.